waking up and nursing overnight dilemma...

amh_navyblue

So DD#2 is just about 14 months old. For the last several months she has been waking up at some point overnight (for awhile it was within an hour or two of her morning wake up time, now it varies and can be any time between 2 and 6am).  Usually her diaper is wet, so I change her diaper and she wants to nurse, so I nurse her (which started when she was waking up closer to 5 or 6 and served as her morning nursing session...and even since she has started waking up earlier, I count it as the "morning" nursing session and don't nurse her again when she wakes up for the day--we are down to 2 nursings a day--one before bed and one overnight/morning session).  I know that she doesn't need the nutrition overnight (and she is a VERY healthy eater), but honestly the process wasn't that taxing. The whole thing would take maybe 20 minutes. Until the last couple of nights.

Last night I was up with her for an hour and half of that time was spent trying to get her off the boob because it was clear that she wasn't getting any more milk and it was getting uncomfortable for me. I was literally a human pacifier.  It was a struggle to get her off and then she would really start to cry...and because she shares a room with her older sister (who is 4), I try to keep the night time crying to minimum, so I would let her nurse a bit longer.  A couple of times she stopped on her own, but then would get upset when I went to put her down.  Finally, when we had gone through the cycle a few times, she seemed pretty calm and I just whispered "you're all done honey," a phrase I use when she's done with dinner and I was able to put her down.

I'm not sure why this has become an issue...granted there are a few things that could be the source--I have been away for the last 2 weekends, so maybe there is some desire to have more "mommy time," and she has had some pretty loose poop the last few days and I wondered if she was getting sick and therefore more clingy overnight.  But otherwise her schedule has not changed and her eating has not changed. 

Anyone have any ideas for me?  Maybe this is just a phase?  Should I (and the rest of the family) bear down for a few nights of misery while I wean her off of the nighttime feeding all together?  As I said, I wasn't really inclined to be that proactive since the wakings were pretty uneventful...and sometimes she does go the whole night without waking...so I was fine with just letting her guide the process.  But I have to admit that last night I was really miserable and wishing that I could have put her down and let her CIO a bit (though I suppose the authors of that study someone posted today would have chastised me for that one;).

If you've gotten this far, thanks for reading! And TIA for any advice.

 

Sofka

I think it may be time to cut out the middle-of-the-night nursing session

 

eeclem

Personally, I'd be ready to night wean and do some sleep training. But I have no idea how to manage that without waking a 4 year old   Maybe have DH go in and offer her a small sippy of milk and gradually reduce the amount of milk?

 My other thought is - could she be teething? 

tomandcourt

Does she use a pacifier? Sometimes I would pop J off the boob and jam a pacifier in his mouth (it sounds more violent than it was . . .) and he wouldn't get too worked up.

But yeah, maybe it's time to cut that session out. We FINALLY did that with J a month or two ago and it was way less painful than expected. We figured out he got much more upset if we did Ferber method (going in and checking) rather than just letting him cry for a bit, but that might be tough if your LOs are sharing rooms.

emack

The only thing I will say is maybe to give it a little longer to make sure she isn't sick. I know my DD has her really bad nights when she is sick and often I don't realize she wasn't well until a day or so later. Now I know that when she has a big change to give it a little while, make sure she's healthy, and then try more drastic steps only if it continues for a while and there is no sign she's sick. Good luck!

amh_navyblue

tomandcourt:

Does she use a pacifier? Sometimes I would pop J off the boob and jam a pacifier in his mouth (it sounds more violent than it was . . .) and he wouldn't get too worked up.

I thought about that last night, but she hasn't used a paci in a LONG time...and she's not a thumb sucker, so that didn't seem to be an option...

I think you and others are right, perhaps we need to bite the bullet and drop the nursing...but I will wait a night or 2 to make sure it's not something else...

 

Hey Jellisy

We went through a few phases around 14 -16 months with a lot of middle of the night wakefulness.  I attributed it to teething, mastering walking, and just dumb luck.  DD would be wide awake so we would go downstairs and play (or put on a video if I was too tired to function) and give her an hour before going back to bed.  Each time it lasted for a week or 2 and then she was back to normal.

2vthokies

The waking and wanting to comfort nurse, in addition to the loose stools makes me think of teething.  I would give it another couple nights and try some pain meds  or the homeopathic meds to see if it helps before you just drop the session.  Even if you drop the session there is no gaurantee that she will STTN.  She may need comforting in some way, even if it isn't the boob.