Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Bullying Debate Question

I did not participate in the "bully" debate yesterday, but oddly enough when I talked to my sister yesterday after work, she told me that my 4yr old nephew got scratched pretty bad on his face by another boy at daycare. The teacher actually witnessed the whole thing, & said my nephew did not provoke the little boy to do anything, the boy just had an outburst. My nephew, not knowing the teacher saw it, immediatley got up & told the teacher what happened- he did not react by hitting him back. Now my Sister or her Husband have obviously never had the "bully" talk with him- it never even crossed their minds with him only being 4yrs old.

My question to you is did my nephew react how you would want your child to react? Or should he have hit him back even harder???

PS- I think he did the right thing, & my sister is very proud that he did not react & he told the teacher...

Re: Bullying Debate Question

  • I think this is exactly the same debate that was started yesterday.

  • I was not part of the discussion yesterday.

    At this age yes it was good for the 4 year old to have told an adult but I think I would want dd to tell that kid to "STOP" or "DON'T DO THAT, IT HURTS" which would have prompted the teacher to ask what happened.

     I worked for a daycare and I taught the children to stand up with their words and let others know about their feelings.

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  • I didn't see this debate yesterday.  At 4, people think he should hit back?  
    Shot first, questions later.
  • imageCassie730:
    If I was his parents I would be very proud of that little guy!!!

    Yes

  • imagemargotmacomber:
    I didn't see this debate yesterday.  At 4, people think he should hit back?  

    I didn't read all of it, so I don't know if age was mentioned. But I saw some people saying that if their child got hit, they would tell them to hit back harder to defend themselves. - but again, I didn't read that much into the debate yesterday...

  • I think I agree with PP who said she would want her DD to tell the kid to stop or "don't do that" and stand up for herself with words.

    I want my DD to know that she CAN and SHOULD speak up for herself and let others know when their behavior has hurt her.  I also think that after speaking up to the bully, my DD should seek out an adult and say "Johnny scratched me.  I told him that it hurt and I didn't want him to do it again.  But he did it again."  or whatever.

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  • As a parent,  yes he did the right thing.  As a person, he should have clocked that little boy in his eye.  I think that they've done some great parenting if he believed and knew that he would be protected if he told, but as he gets older, that may cause more bullying.  I'm from the school of if you get hit, hit back.  You can tell once, or maybe even twice, but if that doesn't keep you from getting hit/ bullied, standing up for yourself will.  Kids only pick on other kids because they don't think that they are going to do anything back. 

    I missed the bully debate yesterday too...  Wish I hadn't.  Sad

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  • This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.
  • imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    Bullying or not- I don't think hitting back is ever needed. I would much rather my child, however old his is use his words, not his fist. Some kids these days don't even use their fist, they use guns or knives- I don't want my child to get killed over someone pushing him in the hallway. I would rather him tell an adult & have them deal with the bully.

    I have said my peace- feel free to flame away...

  • imageCassie730:

    imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    PS- You don't have to comment on every post either. If you're sick of the debate then don't chime in.  I agree this is redundant (as everything on TB is) but there are people who obviously weren't around yesterday commenting and there are also people who are always interested in gaining new perspectives on certain topics which obviously you aren't on this one.

    And that's why we can go back a page and comment on the OP.
  • imageCassie730:
    imageBashert628:
    imageCassie730:

    imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    PS- You don't have to comment on every post either. If you're sick of the debate then don't chime in.  I agree this is redundant (as everything on TB is) but there are people who obviously weren't around yesterday commenting and there are also people who are always interested in gaining new perspectives on certain topics which obviously you aren't on this one.

    And that's why we can go back a page and comment on the OP.

    Then people could do that for literally everything. All posts here are redundant. She had a personal story relevant to the debate and some new people saw it so what. No need to police TB for necessary and unnecessary posts because I'm pretty sure most of them would be deemed redundant and already played out.

    They are redundant and played out. Which is why I find it annoying that people don't want to go back one page. If it were discussed more than a day ago, ok. New post. Whatever I'm done arguing with you.
  • imageBashert628:
    imageCassie730:

    imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    PS- You don't have to comment on every post either. If you're sick of the debate then don't chime in.  I agree this is redundant (as everything on TB is) but there are people who obviously weren't around yesterday commenting and there are also people who are always interested in gaining new perspectives on certain topics which obviously you aren't on this one.

    And that's why we can go back a page and comment on the OP.

    If you don't like my redundant post- then don't comment on it. Instead, just sit back & roll your eyes at it & move on to yet another post on what to feed your baby or is your baby mobile yet. Like Cassie said, everything on here is redundant, but you don't have to comment on everything.

     

     

  • At that age, absolutely, I believe that was the correct response. I think once you get to the middle school/high school level, you need to stick up for yourself. Most schools' policies say that whether you hit or not, if you are involved in an altercation, you will be punished, even if you were the one attacked and did nothing. I just don't see the point. If you are going to punish everyone involved any way since, without evidence, you can't prove who did what, then you might as well defend/protect yourself by fighting back.
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  • imagemm&m2010:
    imageBashert628:
    imageCassie730:

    imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    PS- You don't have to comment on every post either. If you're sick of the debate then don't chime in.  I agree this is redundant (as everything on TB is) but there are people who obviously weren't around yesterday commenting and there are also people who are always interested in gaining new perspectives on certain topics which obviously you aren't on this one.

    And that's why we can go back a page and comment on the OP.

    If you don't like my redundant post- then don't comment on it. Instead, just sit back & roll your eyes at it & move on to yet another post on what to feed your baby or is your baby mobile yet. Like Cassie said, everything on here is redundant, but you don't have to comment on everything.

     

     

    Clearly you aren't tired of debating the issue because you opened the post. I wasn't here yesterday either, and I'm glad that OP posted this. I find it interested and I'm glad that we have something different to discuss today instead of another riveting discussion on nap times and daily intake amounts!

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  • imageCassie730:
    imagemm&m2010:
    imageBashert628:
    imageCassie730:

    imageBashert628:
    This is not an example of bullying, therefore hitting back isn't warranted. It's a 4 year old having an outburst. If it were an older kid purposefully scratching him on more than one occasion (and he is older), then yes. Hit back. Ps you don't need a new post for this.

    PS- You don't have to comment on every post either. If you're sick of the debate then don't chime in.  I agree this is redundant (as everything on TB is) but there are people who obviously weren't around yesterday commenting and there are also people who are always interested in gaining new perspectives on certain topics which obviously you aren't on this one.

    And that's why we can go back a page and comment on the OP.

    If you don't like my redundant post- then don't comment on it. Instead, just sit back & roll your eyes at it & move on to yet another post on what to feed your baby or is your baby mobile yet. Like Cassie said, everything on here is redundant, but you don't have to comment on everything.

     

     

    Nope....you have to PM her first before you post anything to find out if she thinks it's "annoying".

    Damn I must have missed that rule in the handbook.

    ::goes off to re-read TB rules/guidelines::

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