Just a little vent/ronald mcdonald house

hrking2011

First off how many of you stayed at the ronald mcdonald house when your LO was in the NICU? Im having a real hard time being away from mine (over an hour away from her) and really considering trying to stay there and was just wondering what it was like.

Im just so frustrated. Im so thankful that Teagen was born really with no problems except for being tiny and early but damn is it hard being away from her. I got pregnant in high school and im only 18 now and having a baby in general was new to me so having a baby in the NICU is beyond hard for me. BF is 3 hours away from me but 5 from her and hes still in high school so he can't be with me to comfort me so I feel just really alone. Im jealous and a little angry that I didn't get to experience LOs first diaper change and bath and whatnot like everyone else. I miss her so much and im trying to keep myself busy and get a room ready and all that but I find myself just in a daze because I can't handle being away from her. Idk im probably just rambling about nonsense so i'll cut this off here lol

ayram

What a beautiful daughter, and gorgeous name! Congratulations!  My first preemie (now 6) was born at 33 weeks, and had a fairly uneventful 4 week stay in the NICU.  He is currently happy and healthy.

I didn't stay in Ronald McDonald house  - just a variety of hotel rooms, and it was tough.  It's okay to grieve the loss of a normal pregnancy.  I was jealous of pregnant women with their big bellies, people getting to hold their child right away, taking baby home...so many things. That's normal.  It doesn't make it any easier, though.  Try to pump as much as you can.  Offer to do all the diaper changes.  Try to get as much sleep as you can, and I hope it goes well for you!  The ladies on this board are a great resource, if you have any questions!! 

ruthiewith

Congrats on your beautiful baby!  I stayed at the Ronald McDonald House in Providence and it was amazing.  The rooms were beautiful and it only cost $10 a night.  Also, volunteers come every day to cook a hot dinner and help out around the house.  Even if you don't stay overnight, they sometimes have a "day" room, so you could use that to take a nap or pump if you need to.  Good luck to you.  

Kate621

I understand how you feel. My ds was born when we were 7 hours from home. My husband had to go home and back to work. Not having him there was one of the hardest things about the whole situation. I stayed on the Ronald McDonald House for the entire 4 months my ds was in the NICU. I had a great experience and made some friends that I know I will keep in touch with for a long time. It was nice to be close to the hospital and to also be around other families in a similiar situation. I would talk to the social worker at your hospital. She should be able to get you a referral to RMH.

ShannonSky

We live about 45 min away from the hospital and we did the drive every day, sometimes twice. As far as I know, there aren't any options to stay closer besides paying full price for a hotel out there. And honestly, I sleep much better in my own home and part of preparing to bring baby home is making sure you are as healthy as you can be for her. It sounds like you won't be in for too long a stay - DD was born at 33w6d and we were only there for 16 days. It sucked, and I'm beyond scared at the thought of having to potentially leave this baby in the NICU, but in the whole scheme of things, it's not that long. Personally, I'd stay home and just do the commute, but your situation is much different than mine. Are you staying in school? I hope so, but that will definitely make things different, since you won't have the standard maternity leave stuff. And do you drive? If not, and you can't get to your baby regularly, I'd definitely stay at a RMH. GL!

cara-n-steve

Congratulations on your baby girl! 

Having my boys in the NICU was one of the hardest things I've been through. I never stayed at a Ronald McDonald house.  I don't think we have one near us.  We live about 45 minutes from the hospital.  I thought about staying at a hotel near the hospital a few times from pure exhaustion but decided to drive home.  I spent about 8-10 hours a day at the hospital.

My boys were there for 22 days and 24 days.  You need to do what you feel is best for you.  If it's staying at the RMH, then go for it.  If it would make you feel closer to your baby and allow you to spend more time with her, definitely look into it.  I'm sure it's hard having your BF so far away.  Hang in there momma.  You can do it!

Natalie_may

Congrats on your baby girl! I know how you feel about "missing out", I missed my boys' first diaper change and baths, and even haircut! ( gotta love picc lines!). I just want to pass along some advice a fellow nicu mama gave me, if you don't like the way it turned out... Don't think of it as their first. Instead think about the first change, at home, first bath, you give, first haircut you go to. I keep focusing on the firsts that I CAN control and looking at everything else as great practice. We will have an awesome first bath with both boys because Hunter is adjusted to the bathtub at home and Liam is a great nicu bather, i'm very excited for that first. You didn't get to do things like "everyone else", you are allowed to grieve that loss and to feel that way. you are going through something that totally sucks, but will show you just how strong of a mother you are and help you appreciate every tiny moment in your daughter's life. Good luck to you and the time really does go by faster then you think it will!

hrking2011

ShannonSky:

We live about 45 min away from the hospital and we did the drive every day, sometimes twice. As far as I know, there aren't any options to stay closer besides paying full price for a hotel out there. And honestly, I sleep much better in my own home and part of preparing to bring baby home is making sure you are as healthy as you can be for her. It sounds like you won't be in for too long a stay - DD was born at 33w6d and we were only there for 16 days. It sucked, and I'm beyond scared at the thought of having to potentially leave this baby in the NICU, but in the whole scheme of things, it's not that long. Personally, I'd stay home and just do the commute, but your situation is much different than mine. Are you staying in school? I hope so, but that will definitely make things different, since you won't have the standard maternity leave stuff. And do you drive? If not, and you can't get to your baby regularly, I'd definitely stay at a RMH. GL!

Oh I graduated early when I found out I was pregnant, my diploma was very important to me. I do drive but my car wouldn't make it back and forth. I have decided to stay at the RMH for 2 weeks so im hoping she's well enough to come home with me but im not getting my hopes up. She is no longer tolerating my milk or formula for some reason.

AVA0908

We never stayed at the Ronald McDonald house and it was just down the street. Our NICU had a room for each baby and there was a pull out cot there that I slept on almost every night for 4 months. They also had a shower several floors up.

I gave birth at 26 weeks unexpectedly and out of state (300 miles from home) while we were visiting DH's family.  DH had to go home and go back to work so I know what it is like to not have your BF there with you physically for support.  My in-laws had to drag me out of there once in a while just to retain my sanity.

Hope your LO gets to go home soon!

ShannonSky

hrking2011:

ShannonSky:

We live about 45 min away from the hospital and we did the drive every day, sometimes twice. As far as I know, there aren't any options to stay closer besides paying full price for a hotel out there. And honestly, I sleep much better in my own home and part of preparing to bring baby home is making sure you are as healthy as you can be for her. It sounds like you won't be in for too long a stay - DD was born at 33w6d and we were only there for 16 days. It sucked, and I'm beyond scared at the thought of having to potentially leave this baby in the NICU, but in the whole scheme of things, it's not that long. Personally, I'd stay home and just do the commute, but your situation is much different than mine. Are you staying in school? I hope so, but that will definitely make things different, since you won't have the standard maternity leave stuff. And do you drive? If not, and you can't get to your baby regularly, I'd definitely stay at a RMH. GL!

Oh I graduated early when I found out I was pregnant, my diploma was very important to me. I do drive but my car wouldn't make it back and forth. I have decided to stay at the RMH for 2 weeks so im hoping she's well enough to come home with me but im not getting my hopes up. She is no longer tolerating my milk or formula for some reason.

Good! I'm glad you decided to stay there, with car issues, I would, too. I hope you get her eating issues figured out soon!