vent..this is long. sorry.

bobishea84

okay..SO. im pissed. brief history, my fiance's brother has a baby mama. she got pregnant on purpose to trap him.They are due in May. They always broke up and she was obsessed (she just turned 19) and then lied to him and told him she was on BC and the rest is history. Anyways, she can't hold a job, neither can he.She still smokes and goes to raves and has every intention of still partying after the baby is born.  He hates her, she loves him. They are on again off again all the dang time, while he has another girlfriend. Well, my future MIL considers her family now b/c she's carrying the grandbaby. My fiance and I can't stand her. She's been nothing but rude to us and lies all the dang time. Well..we have been engaged since june and found out we were pregnant in January. The dr had told us to try since I have had cervical issues and since we were getting married in march we decided to go ahead. So, we did, and told his parents. His mom couldn't care less. She is so involved with this other one rathr than ours. WELL....she knows our feelings about her. They are broken up agian right now (imagine that) and the mom calls her up and personally invites her to our wedding next weekend!!!! WTH!!!!!!!!! I'm so pissed. And then when he confronted her about going behind our backs and doing so, she started crying using the family excuse and saying that her and his brother are no different than us and we need to accept her. I'm fuming. FUMING. I was already mad b/c she refuses to have anything to do with our pregnancy, like when we talk about it, or when his dad does she changes the subject, has seen one out of 10 US pictures but has the baby mama's US pictures framed. I'm just so mad right now. SO MAD.

KristinaIsAGeek

Wow. I can't blame you at all for being pissed. If it were me, I would call her up and personally un-invite her, regardless of how the family would take it. It's your wedding, not theirs. You have control over every aspect of it, and it was completely wrong of your MIL to act on your behalf.

 

As for your IL's disinterest in your pregnancy, that's rough. But if you're happy, that's all that matters. They may or may not come around, and that's fine. Just worry about you, your FI and LO, and everything else will fall into place. 

Lilrdmandy

Wow I would be soooo mad too.  I would call her up and say that she better not come, no matter what anyone else says.  It doesn't sound like there is even a slight chance that she could become your sister in law so who cares what she thinks.  As for your mother in law, its like she thinks that baby will be loved less so she has to put more effort towards it. 

Around the time DH and I were getting married, my cousin decided that same month was a good time for him and his redneck gf to get married.  And then invited all of our family to an out of state wedding.  They hadn't even been engaged, they just decided about a month in advance that 2 weeks before my wedding sounds good to them.   I was pissed b/c I kept hearing things like "oh we can't afford to go to both"  Figures a few months later they got divorced. 

Eventually people get what's coming to them, its just sad in your situation that a baby has to be dragged through her selfishness and stupidity.  Sometimes pregnancies change people for good, who knows!

ShannonSky

I guess I'm the dissenting opinion here. I would have left it up to your brother to decide who he wants to bring, but now that she's invited, it's done. Regardless of your feelings about her (or, really, anyone's feelings about her), she's going to be a part of your fiance's family for the rest of their lives. I think I'd just let this one play out - demanding she be uninvited is just not going to look good on you, since they are clearly all giving her the sympathy vote right now. It's just going to look like you're attacking her, and especially give this isn't your family, it is your fiance's, I don't think you should do anything. If he really doesn't want her there, then he should be the one to make that call.

As far as your MIL, my guess is she feels very bad about the situation with the baby mama and wants to protect her (unless there's something else going on beyond what you described in the post). It sucks, but unfortunately sometimes family doesn't "get" what you need. I've learned over the years that 9 times out of 10, it's better to just not say anything when it comes to in-law issues. Let your fiance deal with it and try not to get involved.

Lady Leigh

If my MIL did something like that all hell would break loose. Sorry but it's YOUR wedding and if you don't want her there tell her not to come. Then call your MIL and tell her off for inviting her without your permission. You need to ste the standards and quit letting her walk all over you or you will keep being walked over again and again.