Baby shower question

jen102279

My step mom is throwing me in July and asked me about the guest list.  Do I invite all of my DH's aunts, etc when they usually throw their own showers?? I know I can't directly ask, "hey are you planning on throwing me a shower?"... but I don't know how to figure out if there will be more than one shower...

any tips or suggestions?  Do I just wait a while and see if anyone else brings up throwing me a shower?

Thanks! 

mrsmikey

I would wait awhile and see who else offers to throw you one.  I would assume that it would be similar to whatever happened when you got married. 

If it does get close to time and you still haven't heard, I think it would be safe to ask your MIL if she knows of anything going on, and just tell her you're going to invited them to the other shower if not. 

LupeVallejo

I invited the other half of the family, but I am personally having a co-ed "party" style shower.  I'm doing mine in July and it's a pool party more than anything... more to celebrate the upcoming life of our child, rather than "lets drink tea and eat cake and give me gifts" just my style, but I thought it would help the answer to your question to give you a little background on why I'm inviting them.

bryanandkatrina

I would wait and see if anyone from that side of your family brings it up - otherwise, you could ask your MIL who she would suggest inviting from her side of the family... that might spur the conversation and help you to find out if there's anything else being planned.

We did this with my MIL and that's when I found out that she wanted to throw her own shower for her side of the family.

For our wedding, we had one big shower and invited everyone - so this will be different from what happened back then.

jen102279

bryanandkatrina:

I would wait and see if anyone from that side of your family brings it up - otherwise, you could ask your MIL who she would suggest inviting from her side of the family... that might spur the conversation and help you to find out if there's anything else being planned.

We did this with my MIL and that's when I found out that she wanted to throw her own shower for her side of the family.

For our wedding, we had one big shower and invited everyone - so this will be different from what happened back then.

I invited everyone to my bridal shower and my DH's family (not his mother's side, but father's...) was NOT happy about it. They wanted to throw their own shower... and that's the side I'm worried about. DH's parents had an ugly divorce and my FIL family holds it against my MIL... and now I'm still kind of in the "dog house" for wanting one bridal shower... so I could ask my FIL to ask around, but I'm not sure he's up to the task... 

mrsmikey

jen102279:

bryanandkatrina:

I would wait and see if anyone from that side of your family brings it up - otherwise, you could ask your MIL who she would suggest inviting from her side of the family... that might spur the conversation and help you to find out if there's anything else being planned.

We did this with my MIL and that's when I found out that she wanted to throw her own shower for her side of the family.

For our wedding, we had one big shower and invited everyone - so this will be different from what happened back then.

I invited everyone to my bridal shower and my DH's family (not his mother's side, but father's...) was NOT happy about it. They wanted to throw their own shower... and that's the side I'm worried about. DH's parents had an ugly divorce and my FIL family holds it against my MIL... and now I'm still kind of in the "dog house" for wanting one bridal shower... so I could ask my FIL to ask around, but I'm not sure he's up to the task... 

If they wanted to throw you a shower so bad, then why didn't they?  I say if it's time to send the invites out and no one has contacted you about it, then it's their fault.  Shower invites don't need to go out very far in advance.  Who specifically is mad at you?  If you're that worried about it, then I would forget tact and just ask that person outright if they planned on doing a shower for you.  You're kinda damned if you do, damned if you don't.  So I would just come out and ask if they're going to be that impossible about it.

jen102279

Grandma is the most upset and she works on the aunts and gets them going....

I think I might have too, because that's Exactly how I feel (Damned if I do, Damned if I don't...)

They are impossible when it comes to this stuff. They like to be in charge of everything! Otherwise, they are a great family. It's just really hard to plan stuff around their "doing it my way is better" thing.