How do you have sex

MrsTechie

When you're pissy and irritated with each other? I'm bumping from my phone so this will be messy but the run down is that Mr techie is leaving town Monday morning for 2 weeks. We've yet to try PP sex but were trying to get it in this weekend. I've been on bcp forbade week and Wyatt is sleeping for at least 4 hrs. But we've got crazy stress right now (moving, renovating, car repairs ) and we're both feeling the strain. Tonight would have been great to try but he spent the better part of the day snapping at me and pointing out all the things I'm not getting done. I offered to leave Wyatt with him alone all day tomorrow, and take the day off to see what exactly He gets done but he wasn't up For that. After Wyatt was up most of last night and my pissy mood at Mr techie right now, I sooooo don't want to have sex with the man. I may never have sex again at this rate. *dispairs*

beansie23

I would start by snuggling up to him and telling him how much you're going to miss him when he's gone.  Usually I'm the one that's being pissy, and DH can make this ice queen melt.

Kristi221

Sorry it's so rough right now! DH and I have those days too, where I feel like all he does is point out what I am not getting done. He'll come home stressed from work and ask about one thing, I didn't do it, asks about another, nope, didn't have time, and another, nope, I forgot. Then he gets all pissy and we spend the rest of the night not talking and just watching TV in silence. I can't go to bed with him being annoyed, so I end up walking up to him and making him kiss me.

Sometimes you've just got to take matters into your own hands! Hope things get better!

Cymarkus

Oooooh, I'm so sorry that y'all are having a rough time right now. I have a hard time concentrating during sex when I have a lot on my mind so I totally understand. I think maybe you two just shouldn't force it if neither of you are in the mood. You might be setting yourselfs up for dissapointment. Hey, it's already been FOREVER, what's two more weeks at this point? Hopefully things will be more settled when he gets back and it will be a better time to do it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder too, right? OR you can just pop a porno in and watch it together. Maybe that will make you forgot all your troubles and get you in the mood to have some kinky sex ;-)

tncomb00

Ugh, I'm sorry!  I totally understand wanting to take advantage of the time when you actually CAN do it, but that would be frustrating to do it when you are annoyed with each other...are you guys into angry sex?   Seriously though, I don't know about you but I would hate for my H to leave for 2 weeks with me being pissy at him.  Do you think you guys could have an honest conversation where you talk about your stress and that would clear the air, leading to sexy time?  Also, I agree that a glass of wine might help.  Good luck and hugs!

CamilleJon

I didn't read any of the other responses, because I need to go to bed, so sorry if this has already been suggested...

but if it were me I would pour a couple glasses of wine and throw on some porn  

[Deleted User]

If DH points out what I'm not getting done, I make SURE to arrange a day where he has the kiddo & gets some hands-on experience.  So, I'd do that as soon as he gets back.  Just tell him that you HAVE to go do errands & leave the boys together a good 4 hours.  Be subtle, but nice when you get back.  I actually did this with DH before he had a chance to complain, and now if things aren't getting done, we work on how we can make sure one of us gets the time for whatever needs getting done. 

As for PP sex, I can't be helpful.    I want to, but usually when we have time we are both exhausted.  

canthardlywait426

mands629:

MrsTechie:

We've yet to try PP sex but were trying to get it in this weekend.

First off, I can't believe that you guys haven't had sex yet!  Isn't Wyatt about 4 months old?  I think I would go crazy if we hadn't done it soon after I got cleared.  Maybe that's the problem?  You both want it, but haven't had it for so long and are worried that it won't be the same.  Plus, like you said, you both have a lot of stress going on right now.  Maybe if you both have a glass of wine, you both can unwind and he'll start to look better to have sex with.  But then again, you can always blurt out "Do you want to have sex or don't you?"  And depending on the answer you get, you'll get to do it, or you can cry and then he'll feel so bad that you guys will get to have make up/first time after having a baby sex.

I'm sorry but that whole response sounds really rude. First of all, it's not unheard of to not have had sex yet 4 months PP. Especially when your vag is all jacked up from delivery. Second, when you EBF a glass of wine might not be possible. Third, I think blurting out "do you want to have sex or don't you" sounds really rude and would probably start a fight. And crying so he'll feel bad is childish.

MrsTechie

Yes, Wyatt is about 4 months old. And just to add to the incredulity factor, I was on strict bed rest from about 6 months pregnant on, which means, it's been a really, really long time since we've had sex. Thankfully, we're adults that have been through dry spells before in previous relationships so we're not feeling like we HAVE to have sex or we'll die.

We bedshare with Wyatt. And for the first 3 months, he slept on me. I slept upright in bed with a long sleeved shirt and my son draped on my chest. This is the only way he would sleep. Maybe it's a little odd to you, but having sex with an infant in the same bed with me totally creeps me out.

Also, I had to vaginal tears. A 2nd degree one down the back and a 1st degree one to the side. I pushed my kid out in 20 minutes so there was some trauma. Things haven't felt "normal" there until about last month.

So... my post was more a vent on how I had really wanted to have sex but Mr Techie was being a PITA most of the day and totally ruined any warm, fuzzy sexual feelings I might have had. We worked out our issues- he knew he was being an @ss but he was stressed out. He didn't really mean that I can't get anything done, he knows why it's not possible. He was just venting in an inappropriate way. Wine and porn crossed my mind but that would have meant getting over my irritation enough to want to use those things, you know? As it was, Mr Techie was up late working and didn't come to bed until after 1 am and I was already sleeping.

Here's hoping that he's in a better mood today and we can try things tonight. If not, really, it's been this long, what's another week?

Kellina

No help on the having sex while mad thing, but just wanted to say we haven't done it either. Took a long time to heal from my c/s, and now with working full time, BF, and 2 kids? Forget it. We also only had sex ONCE while I was pg and it hurt sooooo bad. Same thing happened last time. Don't force it. What's another week or two at this point?