(Repost from 1st Tri) U/S at 7.5 Weeks and Baby Still at 5 - What do you think?

ally2011

My close friend had her first u/s yesterday at 7.5 weeks.  She was charting and is positive of when she ovulated.  The baby had not developed past 5 weeks.  However, she has had no bleeding or cramping.  She has been extremely worried b/c of a mc in December (chemical - started period 3 days after positive test) and now feels her intuition was right.  Her levels doubled every 64 hours initially from 4 weeks to 5 weeks - they say 48-72 is "normal".

They are having her come back next Friday for another u/s before making any decisions.  So, here is my question - do you all think she definitely is/will mc or is there a chance that this baby could just been slow to grow and end up being fine.

I want to comfort her and provide the right support.  If it is one for sure I have a book that I want to send that 2 other friends who suffered mc really appreciated, but obviously if it is not I don't want to do that.

Thoughts?

ETA - she does have a healthy 18 month old son.

Pina

Is this MUD??  If not then..... This is an extremely delicate situation and you need to wait before you start sending any books or gifts to "make her feel better".  Its not a good sign that the baby stopped developing, but again, its not your place to make assumptions about what will happen.  Be supportive and WAIT.

And the fact that she has a child already means nothing in the equation.  It will not make things better or lesson the pain.

ally2011

Pina:

Is this MUD??  If not then..... This is an extremely delicate situation and you need to wait before you start sending any books or gifts to "make her feel better".  Its not a good sign that the baby stopped developing, but again, its not your place to make assumptions about what will happen.  Be supportive and WAIT.

And the fact that she has a child already means nothing in the equation.  It will not make things better or lesson the pain.

Do you know what MUD is?  Why on earth would this sound made up? 

In any case, the book that I have is highly recommended by 2 friends who suffered later miscarriages, and I know would be well received.  I obviously would not send anything until the next u/s confirms it.  But, if other bumpies think this seems like a definite mc, then I want to look for some other ideas/things to comfort her once it is "officially" determined by a doctor....in other words, use the next week to best prepare to comfort her when the time comes.

And I didn't mean that having a child made the mc less painful.  She has said that the doctor said that at least she did know she could carry a healthy pregnancy.  However, I know that doesn't mean anything for future children.  I have had several friends suffer losses ranging from chemicals to 12 week mc to a baby born at 25 weeks and dying a year later....so yes, I am well versed in how to provide comfort and what is needed/appreciated.  I have great guidance on this from these close friends who have actually been there.  I am mainly just wondering if there is a chance of a positive outcome.

JKGymnast

Let the doctors be the doctors!!  I'd recommend you just "be there" for her... Dont offer advice unless she requests it and please, do not make assumptions!

If she has a m/c - go nuts with your book - but wait until her dr makes the call. 

Best of luck to your friend with the healthy 18 month old son.

ETA: This is not meant to be snippy... it's just coming from someone who's personally suffered two miscarriages - I'm encouraging you to just sit tight until its confirmed.  Stressing will only make this worse.

ally2011

JKGymnast:

Let the doctors be the doctors!!  I'd recommend you just "be there" for her... Dont offer advice unless she requests it and please, do not make assumptions!

If she has a m/c - go nuts with your book - but wait until her dr makes the call. 

Best of luck to your friend with the healthy 18 month old son.

ETA: This is not meant to be snippy... it's just coming from someone who's personally suffered two miscarriages - I'm encouraging you to just sit tight until its confirmed.  Stressing will only make this worse.

Oh, no, you are fine.  Thank you for the ETA though

I appreciate your response and agree completely, I think I could have worded the initial post better.  I am just waiting along with her right now and being available as she wants/needs to talk.  I would never make any assumptions one way or the other.  I just kind of wondered what others thought here....not in any way to go back and say "oh, well, the bumpies think _______________"  I would never even mention posting here to her.  I just wondered for my own info so that if everyone thought it didn't look good I could prepare to be as supportive as possible with any resources and other things that might be a good help for her.

And I am very sorry for your losses.

camdenfaithful

I'm not a doctor so clearly all I have to go on is my own experience.  And in my experience, I had a very similar situation and I did end up miscarrying.  Just because you don't have any cramping or bleeding does not mean you won't miscarry.  There is such thing as a missed miscarriage and it is a lot more common than people think.  My gut says that the odds are not in her favor, but I'm not a medical professional and stranger things have happened.

At this point I don't think there's really anything you can do other than offer support because I'm sure your friend is probably going through hell right now.

Pina

To be honest, I asked if this was mud because your original post seemed a bit off.... (not to mention more than a bit of that going on around tb)  Once you explained the situation in great depth, it became a bit more clear what your intention was, but talking about buying her a book and what not and throwing in at the end that she already has a healthy child, comes across wrong. 

T&P for your friend in this rough time.

kodonnell_mcc

Speaking from experience... if you haven't had a m/c, please don't try to give gifts, advice or books. Just be there for her if she asks you to be. I know as her frined you want to help, but m/c is different and falls under a different catagory.

msmarsh

I'm sorry that your friend has to go through this and I can't imagine waiting a week to see if there is any growth. I think it's great that you want to be supportive. I'd definitely listen to the other posters who've experienced losses about what would be a welcome response if she ends up miscarrying. Ts and Ps to her!

z047059

I had a missed miscarriage which is what this sounds like it maybe. And I would strongly agree with everyone saying that you should not send a book to her. This a very tough thing to go through and just because 1 person liked the book does not mean another would. I would have been pissed had someone sent me something like that.

I would be there for her if it is a MC and let her guide you to what and how she needs comfort...instead of assuming a book is going to make her feel good.

Corts

Sorry your friend is going through this.

If it does turn out to be a miscarriage, please don't send her that book though. Maybe if a few months pass and you see she is still severely depressed....think about it then. The nicest things you can do if she miscarries are check in on her, maybe bring casserole to her house....maybe a restaurant GC with a nice "Thinking of you" card in the mail.

kodonnell_mcc

Corts:

Sorry your friend is going through this.

If it does turn out to be a miscarriage, please don't send her that book though. Maybe if a few months pass and you see she is still severely depressed....think about it then. The nicest things you can do if she miscarries are check in on her, maybe bring casserole to her house....maybe a restaurant GC with a nice "Thinking of you" card in the mail.

This is a very nice idea.

Mrs. Alice

I have to echo what the others are saying.  Please don't send her a book.  As good as your intentions are, if she does have a m/c she will seek out information HERSELF on her on time as she grieves.  I don't think I would have appreciated that after I miscarried.  Just be there to support, listen, be a shoulder to cry on.