Mama Drama: Update

JustDandy

I'm sure you guys don't care, but someone on another board asked me what happened with my mom. So....

 - I took the blanket that said Rory back to the store and had it changed. When my mother came over to watch the girls (we had NO one else to babysit them that night) she saw it. All she said when we got home was "I would think you would have asked me if you could go and change the gift I gave you" and sulked. I just went to feed Romy and tried to ignore her. Seriously?!

-She posted something on Facebook, but doesn't understand that I can see where she posts, etc. She commented on her friend's status about her new grand-daughter and said "What a beautiful name. Way better than my grand-daughters!"

-She called me this past weekend and kept referring to Romy as Rory. I told her to knock it off, it was really hurting me. She said "Sorry. Not my fault". I told her I was sure I wasn't mad at her just for this name thing, that I was sick of all her rest of her crap...I'm not the one who named her son DeJohn! She hung up on me.

 We haven't talked since. Honestly, I'm not that upset anymore. More pissed than anything. Some think it's not that big of deal, like my husband. But it's her  rudeness about Rosemarie's name.

All I can say is I'm looking forward to our trip to Germany this summer, so I can get a break from the woman who birthed me.

HannahO28

thanks for the update. I can't believe she's being so rude! I'm glad that you stood up for yourself (and Romy). Some people...

essey1234

WOW, sounds like the " fights" i have with my mom,  I think you did the right thing. When you do speak to her again, I think the right thing to do is to apologize for the dig about DeJohn, but make it clear that you made your name choice - your kid and that she has to get over it or it will continue to cause major problems. She just has to get used to it and you don't want to have the discussion anymore

BeenThere22

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that from your mom. I hope things get better for you!

queenbone

I am completely dumbfounded!!!  Rosemarie (Romy) are perfectly lovely names.  I don't get her reasoning for being so hateful about it.  I would definitely pull back and limit time from her.  I'm trying to be diplomatic here, but I really want to kick her in the box with pointy toed shoes for you.

Keri Marie

That is a lot of drama. I'm so sorry your mom is making everything about herself.

...and I love the name! 

EXL311

I agree with everyone else.  I get so mad for you just reading about that.  It's really bad that she would actually embroider something with a different name and then to continue to call your DD that even after you make it obvious that it's not okay.  I mean seriously, DeJohn is horrendous.  Maybe you should do a poll on here and ask which name we think is a disaster and send her the link.  She needs to get over herself.  Your DD has a lovely name and I wouldn't want to deal with her until she can show some respect.

plunderb

Ug. I'm so sorry that she is still being so rude.

Also, she seems a little fuzzy on the whole concept of gift-giving. Isn't the point to give someone something they would like? And then it belongs to them to do with what they wish? Not to be expressions of her ill-will that linger around the house, taunting you even when she is away.

Seriously, she needs to get over it fast. If Romy hasn't noticed yet, I'll bet your older daughter has. This does nothing but hurt them, and if she doesn't care about that, she doesn't deserve to see them.

cmeinla

i would also feel that the name DeJohn, doesn't cut the mustard (teehee) and if she was making fun of me naming my child Rosemarie, which is lovely by the way, I probably would have flung that out too.

ames71

So sorry that your mother is acting like a child. Your daughter's name is absolutely lovely and it's unfortunate that she continues to be so determined to express her childish viewpoint otherwise. 

PS. Germany in the summer is lovely!  

starlight8323

mj.reilly:

the nerve of her to get upset that you corrected it!

This.

I wonder if her mother gave her this much grief about her child's name, so she feels it's her duty to do the same? Kind of like how our grandmothers planned our mothers' weddings, so our mothers want to plan ours?

Anyway, I agree with the PP that Rosemarie is a perfectly lovely name. It's hard to imagine someone hating something so traditional/classic/simple/sweet. But just the other day I asked my mom what she thought about the name Rosemary, and her exact words were "Yghck". So maybe it's the generational theory working against us yet again. Either way, it doesn't give your mother the right to rename your child. She had her chance... and she failed miserably.

EastCoastBride

I think it's horribly rude and disrespectful. Your child's name is NOT Rory. 

How hard nosed are you willing to get?  I'd be tempted to say to her "if you continue to be disrespectful and rude about the name we've chosen for our DD, then you won't be able to see her.  This is your choice.  Her name is Romy and you can either refer to her as such and be a part of her life, or you can continue to be disrespectful to us AND her and not be a part of her life.".

WeddingInGreece2008

You are handling it well. I would be abusing her. Rosemarie and the nn Romy is ten million times better than Rory. Honestly, she is being completely selfish and self interested. 

braveangel2

mj.reilly:

it is a big deal, in a way. What happens when Romy starts noticing? Especially since kids really pick up on emotions.

This! My name was a bit of contention between my mom and her family. I'm Angel, but they didn't feel that it was a proper name, so they called me Angela. I guess it happened for so long that I didn't notice, and there wasn't any emotions surrounding it, but as I hit my teen years, I hated it, and when I learned the reason why, I lost a lot of respect for my mom's family and even more for my bio-dad's family who also called me Angela. It wasn't just a family nick name; it was a battle ground where they were trying to undermine my mom's authority as my parent. It showed up in other ways too...trying to adopt me, trying to keep me over longer than was planned, and little things like telling my mom that I can have cereal when she clearly said I had to have a healthy dinner first....apparently they didn't have much faith in her as a parent. Gah, I'm rambling. I'm sorry; this just hit home for me. As it stands, I still love my mom's family, but I hardly see them because I just don't agree with their lifestyle or their parenting practices.

braveangel2

Eaglefoot23:

Either way, it doesn't give your mother the right to rename your child. She had her chance... and she failed miserably.

Exactly. To be honest, if you named your son, DeJohn and she was calling him Rory, this would still stand. When it comes down to it, that's the name on the child, whether or not they like or even agree with. She had her chance.

hollyberry3333

Hahahahahahahaha... DeJohn!! Seriously?!!

 

Fergie+1

EastCoastBride:

I think it's horribly rude and disrespectful. Your child's name is NOT Rory. 

How hard nosed are you willing to get? I'd be tempted to say to her "if you continue to be disrespectful and rude about the name we've chosen for our DD, then you won't be able to see her. This is your choice. Her name is Romy and you can either refer to her as such and be a part of her life, or you can continue to be disrespectful to us AND her and not be a part of her life."

This, ver batem. If the threat of not seeing her grandchild (and respecting you) isn;t enough, she isn;t worth your energy. It's really sad that she feels she can run you over like that, and that you may have to resort to saying this in order for her to just call your child by her name.

juniper19

I missed the original story.  Honestly she seems like she could use some serious mental health intervention.  Do your best to keep your distance and not to let it get under your skin.

anna7602

I didn't see your original post, but I just want to say I'm sorry your mother is acting this way. It's childish and unwarranted. I hope she realizes soon how hurtful she is being.