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Any moms work full time and go to school?
After much prodding from my supervisor and dept head, I've decided to go back to school. Again. I did a graduate certificate a few years ago, but it's been made pretty clear to me that I'll hit a ceiling at work, not in the near term, but in the next 5-10 years with out a Master's. Since it will take me 5 years to finish going part time, I figure I'd better start ASAP. I can't officially enroll until Fall '12 because I couldn't take (and study for) the GRE in time for this year's application deadline, but the school is allowing me to take classes starting this fall. I figured I'd have 1.5 years to get used to the idea before starting, so now that everything has been moved up a year I'm kind of freaking out.
I'm already moving non-stop from 5:00 am until DD goes to bed at 7:30 and most nights work from home for an hour or two after that before going to bed, and the idea of fitting in homework, etc. is daunting to say the least. Luckily, my fall class is in the middle of the day, so I'm being allowed to work from home and make up time whenever I can. This gives me a break from the (rush hour) commuting one day a week, and on this day I'll actually be able to see DD in the morning and even bring her to daycare.
So, there are definitely some plusses to this arrangement, but I'm concerned about the potential stress on my DH, who already shoulders more than 50% of the parenting duties. And who knows when/if we'll be able to have another kid. Any tips on how to handle it all?
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Re: Any moms work full time and go to school?
I would enlist support from family and friends. I would also try to make meals ahead of time on the weekends or to at least prep them as much as possible. (I actually borrowed a really cool cookbook from the library once that had meals you could do ahead of time, meals that you could prep X amount of time in advance, meals that you could "recycle" the leftovers, etc. I can't remember the name of it but perhaps a librarian could help you. It was definitely marketed toward busy moms). I am not in your exact situation as I have only gone to school while working full time or gone to school while staying at home. I can honestly say that it was easier for me to do the former and not the later, but my experience is clouded by the fact that my son has sleep "issues" which interferes with my sleep and study time. As far as when/if for number two I would pray about it. At least that's what my dh and I are doing. It just stresses me out trying to think about/figure it out and I believe God has the final say in the matter anyway so I am leaving it up to him.
I will say that it seems like you will have a really nice "transition" with your first class being during the day. KUP!
I don't have experience working f/t and going to school, but I finished half of my credits for my MA and knew once I got PG that I probably wasn't going to finish it. But my program was not geared at all towards f/t working students, and classes were really limited.
If work is pushing you to go back then they should be very supportive, which it sounds like they are. I would try to use that to your advantage and work from home whenever you can, I know those 2+ hours you spend commuting will be much better spent doing actual work (or really spending time with N
) And I think you take the train or bus, right? You can always use that time to do some reading for school. Is there the possiblity on cutting back on your hours at work, even just a little bit? I went kind of part time one semester (working 30-35 hours) because I ended up taking 3 classes, and my employer at the time had no problem with me doing it for that short period of time.
UGH!! TB ate my post!! It was long too.
OK here it goes again.
I have never gone back to school with a kid. I do not have any advice from that exact point of view. However I do travel as my job. Every time I go to work I am on a plane somewhere. With this my DH has to be a single dad and an extra burden is on him. When I went back to work I was paired with a lady for my Requal (funny how people are put in front of you when you need it most). She had quit 8 years ago to be a SAHM and was not trying to get back into the job. Long story short. We are in a seniority based job market. To get back in means you start over completely. It is really tough to impossible. She was my instructor and trying to get back on line. Her biggest regret was trying to "do it all" when she was home. When you try to do it all everything suffers. Her advice was to write checks. Do what it takes to get help so you can spend Quality time with your DC when you are around. IE get a cleaning lady!!
If you can find the $$ do it. My DH thought it was ludicrus at first now he would give up cable to afford it if need be. No longer am I stressed about when to clean or nagging him to clean. I clean in between here and there but the big stuff is done. I can hang with DS in a clean house instead of cleaning the toilet. WIth you having to work and study I think this would help tremendously. Anything you can knock of your to do list will help.
I can definitly say that planning/cooking ahead is a huge help. When I leave I have dinner for DS and DH all prepped and ready to go. If you could do this on the weekends so all you have to do is heat up during the week it will help alleviate a lot of the weeknight burden.
Bottom line is we always find the time to do what needs to be done. Keep your DH in the loop and talk to him about what this all means for him. Make sure you are in it together. Try not to weigh it on a % of who does what. It all works out in the end. As long as you are all fed and mostly clean (: everything else is just icing on the cake(:
GOod luck and I think you are very impressive taking all that on to better yourself and your family!!!!!!!
PS we still are not allowed to tell MIL about the cleaning lady (as per DH) !!
Have you given any though to moving closer to work? Where are your clases? Also - what about working from home at least 1-2 days a week; is that an option that they will revisit with you? I'd be so worried about burning out.
On practical issues - yes, outsource, outsource - cleaning lady #1, and then meals - you could always do pick up meals from Let's Dish and to some degree, you are going to have to let it go too - Nora is going to eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese from a box sometimes if that's what it takes to keep you and your husband sane.
I think you should post question on the WMs board too - some of those girls may have suggestions.
Also - just playing Devil's Advocate - but are you sure you want to do this now? For right now, I am just coasting career-wise, which I know alot of people do when they have young kids. If you do want to have another LO, maybe try to do that soon and then when they are both a little bit older (like over 3) see about going back to school.
I'm a full time teacher and go to grad school at night. I started when DD was a year old. The nice thing is my program is through Towson but my classes are held at another school in Haroford county, which is only 5 minutes from my house. I only take one class at a time, one night a week, so it is a 4 year program. I have doubled-up in the summers to finish a little earlier.
On class nights, I do dinner in the crockpot, so DH and DD can eat at a normal time, and then I eat when I get home around 8:00. When DD was younger, she was already in bed when I got home and that killed me to not see her all day. Now that she is older she waits up for me and then I get to put her to bed when I get home.
I do my homework on the weekends, and I just plan everything around that. If I know I have a paper due Tuesday, I don't make any plans for the weekend before so I can get it done. If we go away for the weekend, I almost always take work with me.
Thanks everyone for the helpful responses.
Regarding meals, we started doing Let's Dish at the beginning of the year and it's made a huge difference. Will definitely continue to do that.
Cooper, I definitely plan to use commuting time as study time. When I did my certificate program, I was able to get 90% of my reading (for 2 classes at a time) done during the commute. I made myself start right away on the Metro ride home after each class.
Cutting back on hours isn't a real possibility until DH gets a new job (who knows when that will happen when he's not currently searching). I know that the flexibility of working from home one day a week will make a huge difference.
Cleaning lady- yes, we will definitely do this, though I haven't told DH yet.
Classes are in College Park. We plan to move, hopefully in 2015, and depending on where DH is working at the time we may move closer.
Career-wise, I kind of have to act now, since it will take me 5 years to finish the program, even with my other grad credits transferring. It's pretty much my only chance for professional development (which is a whole other can of worms I've been going back and forth with my supervisor regarding), and I really want to learn more about the latest and greatest in my field.
Regarding the kids thing, I think the best approach is to attempt to have one during the summer, and if I have to take a semester off, so be it. By then (maybe 2 years from now), I'm hoping we'll be better at managing our time as a family and getting stuff done.
The program I'm doing is very specific to my field and one of only about 4 in the country.