EF Family advice needed

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

Background 1: I do not get along with my SIL.  On a good day I think she's a pushy and invasive b!tch whose head is so far up her own self-absorbed butt that it's popped back through her neck and appears normal.  She is proud of the fact that she's a "bossy oldest child" who wants to run everyone's lives.

Background 2: DH's family lives within 2 hours of each other, except for us.  I live in OH, DH is in PA.  This is a one, maybe two year arrangement.  We've been married for two years.

SIL and MIL went out to PA to visit DH two weekends ago.  I was in OH that weekend, because we only get to see each other once a month and we didn't want our visit to be family weekend as well.   I come home yesterday to PA to find: 12 rolls of paper towels (non-recycled, natch, because who cares about trees?  They're infinite, and so are processing resources like water and plastic packaging), 50 plastic cups, 2 sorts of Lysol, a giant refill tub of Dial and a small bottle of it, home scenting/fabric spray (think generic febreeze that's also air freshener), and chemical oven cleaner stored under the sink.

All of this apparently showed up when SIL, upon arriving last week, announced that she was going to clean the place, and that since she didn't use vinegar or 7th Generation cleaners, DH needed "real" stuff.  We worked our butts off to make this place chemical free and as green as possible when we chose it and moved in.  Until the dumb b!tch showed up and decided it was her way or the highway (and I would totally prefer highway, believeyoume), it was all rags except for the bacon cooking roll of paper towels, all either natural/organic cleaners and soaps except for DH's shower stuff, and a space intentionally created to be clean and more importantly OUR home.

I am PISSED.  There's no other word for it.  We had a good long talk about boundaries and family interactions last night, so I'm not concerned about my marriage, but the sight of this stuff still enrages me every time I open a cabinet to get a rag.  Given that chances are good that she won't be here again, and if she is I'm going to make a point of being here, am I okay to give it all to a food pantry?  I just feel so bad about giving away products that I wouldn't use in my own home, like I'm saying "It's not good enough for me, but you take it..."  Thoughts?

kiliwicket

Honestly, I would pack it all up in a box and ship it back to her.  Send a note saying, "Thanks for everything, but we don't use these and I'd hate to see it go to waste.  Lots of Love, XXXX"  I'm sure she'd get mad, but oh well.

(*please disregard any pg hormones that leaked into this response!)

GladToBeMrs.SRS

While the offending products are certainly not your ideal, they will be very, very helpful to a family in need. 

 

Perhaps, to "compensate", you can also donate some green cleaners, rags, etc.  Or, even offer a class to the participants about the effectiveness of inexpensive cleaners like vinegar and baking soda. 

 

I'm sorry you are frustrated.  I totally get the IL drama. 

 

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

I'd love to mail it all back.  But I have no pregnant hormones to blame it on. 

 I didn't think of donating green stuff as well, but I love that idea!  Thank you!

LClaire

Wow - that's so unbelievably annoying!! I'd definitely donate it somewhere - at least then you know someone who could really use it is getting it. I've had lots of stuff that I don't want to use but don't want to waste sitting here and I'm going to give it to a woman who cleans houses for extra money since they're all products that she regularly uses and it'll save her some money to not have to buy them. you could donate to women's shelters, food banks, really anywhere that does charity - they'll surely need them at some point and probably be very grateful to not have to buy more for a little while. Love the idea of adding some green cleaners, too!

kiliwicket

LOL!  In retrospect, donating would be best

luvlieK

We donate the dumb cleaners and crap ILs give us

Em&B

Ha, I'd love to see you mail it all back to her. But more realistically, like others have said donating it would be a great idea. Even though it's not what you would use it would definitely come in handy for others. I guess better for it to at least get used since it's already been purchased than just straight thrown away, I guess.

ashersmom

I too would love you to mail it back because I would want to...but ditto everyone else, you should donate it and some green stuff. 

melsie

donation seems to be the "smart" answer... but if it were me and knowing this would happen again i'd put it all in a box and put it in the garage. let it sit out there till she came back... and leave a note on it with some paper saying something like, "non EF cleaners that contaminate our children and cause cancer" and tell her "thanks for the supplies, i use them to educate the masses about the horrors of off the shelf cleaners"

 

but i'm a mean mean woman... 

triumphantreturnofplanningbug

Melsie, you may be mean, but I love that a lot.