Mom calling baby by her favorite name

daisygrl8423

So, my mom has started calling our baby by a name that she really really wants us to use if it is a girl.  It is a pretty name but does not go with the family name we really want to use.  It's very awkward.  She says, "Little ___ will be here before you know it."  "___ is going to give you a run for your money."  Blah blah blah... ummm, not sure how to tell her we are not going to use that name. 

We are planning on keeping the name a secret, and I don't want to basically drop the bomb on her on the birth date that we didn't use the name she so emphatically insisted we use. 

 Help!  My mom is not a light-hearted easy to talk to kind of person.

Codi-Bailey

I thought it was annoying when my dad asks me "how's my bean?" I just want to scream "IT"S MY BABY!!!!!!" But if he called it by a name he wanted us to name it, that would just not fly. I don't know how you can tell her nicely other than just telling her that will not be the baby's name.

Traycee1242

So...what if it's the opposite sex??? Very weird. I wouldn't bring it up. If she challenges you just tell her you are the parents and get to choose the name.

ohsaysaysay

Put on your big girl panties and just tell her?  You're in for a world of hurting if you can't stick up for yourself and are letting your mom walk all over you about a name.

camdenfaithful

You can tell her you're not planning on using that name without telling her the name you did choose.

We're keeping names a secret and when people ask I'll say, o well we're not naming the baby (insert random name).  By saying that, it really doesn't give anything away.  Just tell her now and get it over with.  Probably better for your sanity anyways.

laurasuzanne2006

I would be annoyed. 

My cousin told people their name choice for her first child and had a friend who started referring to the baby by name.  She said it was kind of awkward because even her and her husband never referred to the baby by name.

PurplePanda83

My step-dad refers to our baby by a boy name he wants us to use. It is a perfectly nice name,  but it is a name he and my mom picked out if they ever had a son, which never happend. It just isn't OUR baby's name.

I mentioned to my mom that it was kind of annoying me, but I'm not going to stress about it until we know if we're having a boy or girl. If we are having a boy, I will just flat out say "No offense, but NAME is the name YOU picked out. We would like to name our own baby, and I trust you will respect that."

eortman

If it was me, I would come up with some outrageous name and refer to the baby as that everytime you talk to her.  Maybe she'll get the hint. 

julygal

Well, one way to deal with it is to wait until anatomy scan and see if it is even a girl. If it is a boy, then your problem is solved without ever having to confront her. However, I think that is waiting it out a bit long and potentially letting her settle on something you know you aren't using.  I would just say we aren't using  (insert name).  If she begins to get defensive or argumentative, then just say, "mom, (insert name) is a lovely name, but it is just not what we envision this little one to be.  We have another name picked out.  I am sorry if you are disappointed, but it really isn't open for a discussion."  Then don't engage in the conversation further.

daisygrl8423

eortman:

If it was me, I would come up with some outrageous name and refer to the baby as that everytime you talk to her.  Maybe she'll get the hint. 

 

This was DH's idea!!! Haha!

I know I need to just tell her, I just didn't know if you gals would just wait to see if it is even a girl or not or go ahead and put that name to bed.  The only reason I make a big deal about confronting her is b/c we have had a very rocky relationship and just now seem to be getting friendlier.

 Oh well... [puts on big girl panties]... can't please everyone.

iahlgren

I would just tactfully tell her that you have another name in mind.

Also, if you don't hate the name, maybe you could use it as a middle name? That could be a way to appease her somewhat while giving the baby the first name you and your husband like.

It is true that you can't please everybody. My mother in law keeps asking us about names we like and has nixed some of them. (i.e,. "You can do XXX because that was my father's nemesis.") I feel it really is up to us and don't want to tell people what we decide until the baby is born. 

quezzo

Honestly, you just need to stand up to her and tell her. I would say something like, "While NAME is a lovely name, we will be picking the name for our baby and we hope you can be respectful of our choice. Our decision is not going to change no matter how many times you call the baby some other name and I would appreciate it if you stopped doing that because it is rude and patronizing."

You may start a fight but if you don't nip this in the bud you are in for trouble for the rest of your life when it comes to her and the baby.  

bethany joy

Haha my mom kept calling with names and finally I told her: You named three kids, let me name my own, thank you.

Elsker

I think it's important to keep a good sense of humor about it, but my mom has been doing pretty much the same thing. She gets really bossy and says that I have to name it after my Grandpa (because the girl name we picked is a combo of our grandmothers' names). It makes me mad that she tries to "make" me, but I brush it off by joking either that it's my sisters job to pass on grandpa's name since I get granny's, or that she needs to adopt a baby so she can name it what she wants.