2nd Trimester
elowry08
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RUDE In-laws...help!
elowry08
member
I'm 22 weeks pregnant and I don't think I've gained too much weight at all (maybe 10 pounds?).Yes I have an obvious baby-bump but besides that I look like myself still. I see my in-laws twice a week and EVERY time I see my in-laws they comment on my body. My father-in-law says things to my husband like "you need to keep her in line, she's gaining so much weight" and "wow, you're getting so fat." And my mother-in-law says things like "have you weighed yourself lately?" and "look how big you've gotten!" and is constantly rubbing my stomach. I know they're excited about having another grandchild and my husband has told me my father-in-law is just joking around but it still hurts my feelings. I don't feel sexy or beautiful anymore and these comments don't help. I've told my husband and he told me he can tell them to stop but I don't want to be awkward around them or for them to be awkward around me. What should I do? HELP!!
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Re: RUDE In-laws...help!
This and ((((hugs)))).
I guess I wouldn't "stand up to them" but I would tell my husband how much it bothers me and I know my DH would talk to his family about how it hurts my feelings in private ASAP and ask them to stop.
And they would, because they don't ever want to upset their son or their son's wife.
That's how I would handle it. His family....his problem to solve and he always does. Thats how we handle things in our relationship...lol.
You need to RESPOND and tell them how out of line they are. Not hours later, IMMEDIATELY after they say something, point out how rude the comment is.
what a bunch of asholes.
I had this exact thing happen last week. DH's grandfather asked me why I was getting sooo fat. Hello, I am 24 weeks pregnant and have gained less than 5lbs, shut up! He has also asked if I am carrying twins because I am apparently SOOOOO big. There were a lot of things his family said that really hurt my feelings that night. I just make sure I have the car keys and if I need to go for a drive to calm down I can. Maybe then they will get the point they are rude....
I talked to DH about it later and he said that his grandfather was joking and would not have said it if he thought it would hurt my feelings....Hello, I am a pregnant women, IT IS going to hurt my feelings. You would think a man who has been married for 50 years, has 2 children (both girls) and 5 grandchildren would know to keep their mouth shut.
I leave everytime thankful that my DH is nothing like his family and remind myself that I married my DH. I love my DH and well his family may be the "baggage" he brings into our relationship, it is still worth it.
Sorry that you have to go thru this..unfortunately, you have to grow a pair and tell them outright...even if it's awkward for them, better for them than for you...it's too bad they have to learn manners at their age.
GL
Make a pregnancy ticker
Lost Lilah (Audra's twin) at 26 weeks. Cause unknown. Forever in our hearts
You don't want to make things awkward???? Things are awkward, and they are making it that way. She needs to grow a backbone and stand up for herself. If her husband has heard them say something, then shame on him for not jumping in immediately and saying something.
But why??? They are saying this stuff DIRECTLY to her face, and hell, it is ALREADY awkward. I am sorry, but that is childish. If it were some other issue, perhaps he should talk to them. But seriously? GROW UP and say something. It doesn't have to be nasty or confrontational.
Put your best innocent, hurt feelings look on and say, "Oh my. Why would you say something like that to me?" When the response is, "Oh, we are just kidding". You say, "Oh, but it really hurts my feelings. I don't understand why you would want to do something like that to me, I thought we had a different relationship."
As long as you think that embarrassing them by you or DH telling them that they are hurting your feelings will make you feel even worse than how you feel when they say such things to you, there's no solution. You've already set your priorities.
Once you decide you actually deserve to be treated half as well as they deserve, there's something you can do.
My thoughts exactly. They are clearly not considering YOUR feelings or how awkward they are making you feel. Somestimes people just need a dose of their own medicine and there is nothing unladylike about serving it to them with a smile.
If DH let MIL & FIL tell me I looked fat and huge, I'd probably lay him out flat on the floor, seriously.
Tell your DH. He needs to tell them to stop, and he needs to step up on the positive reinforcements. Tell them to stop, and everytime they make a negative remark why isn't he saying "Are you kidding? She looks fantastic."
I'm so livid for you. Seriously. Defend yourself. Why do you have to be uncomfortable so they are comfortable being hateful?
For the most part, I let DH handle his family "issues" and I got to my family and address things when need be. However, this would be an exception. I would have to call them out and tell them comments like that were a no-go.
No need for you to feel undergo those unnecessary comments. They are just RUDE, not funny.
ha! THIS would be a great way to handle it as well. lol