heartbreaking... — The Bump
TTC After a Loss


My BFF is due two weeks after I was supposed to be. Every day she posts things on FB about her growing belly and this week she felt the baby move. I have barely talked to her since my m/c it just hurts too much. I am just so bitter and jealous and I should be happy for her. She finds out the sex this week I should have already found out. I am trying to be excited about TTC, but sometimes Iam still so sad about my loss :( Sorry I just needed to vent. No one IRL seems to understand anymore.

Re: heartbreaking...

  • I know exactly how u feel.. ((HUGS))
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  • I'm sorry.  That is what we are here for....for you to vent.  No need to be sorry.  I just found out a friend of mine, who posted on fb her announcement last month with u/s pictures and I quickly exited out before I saw more, is having triplets.  Talk about a triple slap in the face and she is a few weeks behind where I should be.  It sucks!  Hugs to you!
    DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
    BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
    BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
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  • I am so sorry. I understand the bitter and jealous thing when you should be happy. A really good friend of mine is 2 weeks behind me. She's only 8 weeks so she isn't showing yet or anything but I find it hard to hear about how she feels sick and is feeling bloated. It's only going to get worse from here... Sending you hugs.
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    BFP #2 01/14/11. EDD 09/25/11. Missed m/c 02/18/11. D&C 02/24/11. }Dustin{
    TTA for 18 months and then TTC for 12 months
    BFP #3 08/18/13. EDD 04/30/14. Missed m/c 09/25/13. D&C 09/26/13. }Daylin{
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  • You can hide her posts on FB so that you don't have to read all her updates. (( big hugs))

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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  • I'm so sorry. ***hugs***
    Emily Irene born February 8 2011 gone but not forgotten.
    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
  • Its not easy to be around those that don't know what you are going through whether they are pregnant or not.  I have a close friend whose EDD is the same as mine would have been.  I see her all the time at church.  I'm afraid it remains difficult.  Hugs to you and know that you are more than welcome to vent here any time you need too.  We know how you feel.

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    BFP #1 9-22-10 Missed M/c 10-18-10 D&E 10-28-10

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  • image Pachita:
    You can hide her posts on FB so that you don't have to read all her updates. (( big hugs))

    This exactly.  I have a lot of friends hidden b/c I can't handle the constant updates.

    I'm so sorry :(

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  • You're not alone. My BFF is due in May and I can't stand to be around her. Her shower is in 2 weeks and I'm already looking for a reason not to go. I know I will end up going but it feels nice to say I won't. ((Hugs)) Feel free to vent, it's why we're here!
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  • *huge hugs*  That's always hard.  I've found that no one IRL ever gets this unless they've been there.
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  • Ugh it must be so hard to have those constant reminders!!  I totally understand how you are feeling.  Lots of ((hugs)) and hang in there!  
    <div>missing our sweet daughter - m/c on 1/7/11 at 14w6d due to Turner Syndrome, d&c 1/7/11</div>
    <div>CP 4/24/11 at 4w2d</div>
    <div>baby boy born 3/15/12</div>
    <div>pg #4 EDD 4/11/13</div>
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  • I know exactly how you feel ((hugs)) and make sure you hide her on FB.
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
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    BFP #4 5/14/12
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  • (((Hugs))) I am so sorry, that is definitely tough.  I agree with PP, it might be a little easier on your heartache if you hide her for awhile.
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    *Congrats to my buddy, myaddiwaddi06(BFP 10/31/11)!!!Sending you Ts and Ps for a healthy, take-home baby!
  • Your feelings are totally normal. I recommend hiding her since she's one of those TMI frequent posters. (((hugs)))
    TTC #1

    10/26/10 BFP: Natural MC at 5w,4d

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  • I'm so sorry.  I can only imagine how hard that must be.  ((Big HUGS))
    TTC #1 since 8/09
    BFP#1 - 9/2/10, EDD 5/14/11, Twins Hannah and Liam lost 11/7/10 @ 13w1d.
    BFP #2 - 2/9/11, EDD 10/13/11, LO lost 2/13/11 @ 5w4d
    BFP #3 - 5/9/11, DS born 1/13/12

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  • I completely understand and you are not alone!! I have someone very close to me on her 3rd pregnancy and is now having twins..... fortunately, she never experienced what we have and although she has no control over her fortunate pregnancies, it doesn't stop the bitterness and jealousy at times.  However, this week was the first time I realized that her happiness and children have nothing to do with my happiness and pregnancies.  I want my babies and pray and embrace that day!  I have definitely learned a lot in the past 7 weeks since the loss.  My recommendation is to heal, it took a while to be normal around this person for me and inquire on how she is feeling etc... and you should know that if you need time then take the time.  The most important thing is for you to rest, heal and deal emotionally with life.  For the world, m/c is just a word, but for us, it is life-changing and can never be explained.  Just know you have all of us on here and your angel up above providing you with strength. xo
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  • For the world, m/c is just a word, but for us, it is life-changing and can never be explained.  Just know you have all of us on here and your angel up above providing you with strength. xo

    I liked this -- it is for sure life changing for those having been through it...   maybe as before mentioned.. hide the  FB updates so that it is less painful to deal with.  We are here for you... ((hugs))

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  • Thanks for all the support ladies. I did as you said and hid her on FB. I feel bad since she is my best friend but I really don't need the constant reminders. I do feel like I have to face her soon though. I would never want to go through my first pregnancy without her so it must be hard for her to go through her first pregnancy without me. I am hoping I am pg again this month and then maybe it will be a little easier.

  • ((((hugs))))
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  • [[Hugs]] Vent away.

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  • I'm sorry.  I do know how you feel though.  I have about 6 ladies that were all due very close to me and they are all finding out the sexes and posting updates and belly pictures.  Sad  It's really hard, I try to skip past the posts really fast.


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  • I'm so sorry, that sucks. I can relate. My BFF from high school got pregnant the month we first started TTC, and her EDD is tomorrow. Thankfully we grew apart and ended the friendship before she got pg, but it still hurts just knowing that she has what I want so desperately. ((Big hugs))
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