Thank you ladies & an update

jlcrane78

DH and I had a great conversation this afternoon.  He didn't take that long to cool down, and he suggested we sit down and talk.  It went well.

We have decided not to cycle in March/April.  We are going to take some time to come to terms with (maybe) not having children and bring the focus back to our relationship instead of our infertility treatments.

I am definitely ok with waiting a few months, but I said I think we should do PGD because we have come this far and purchased a package.  We might as well complete the package.  He seems to agree, but he hasn't made a final decision.

I am so thankful for all of you and your kind words.  I don't know what I would do without your support.  

M&MBride0506

I'm so glad that you had a good conversation with hubby.  IF is hard and it's so important to be able to be on the same page.   I hope everything works out for you.  ((hugs))  Good luck.

MBfromBMC

I'm really glad that you guys had a good talk - a happy relationship is most important!  Good luck in whatever you guys decide!

butterfly843

Glad you guys were able to talk about it.

peppersnic

That is wonderful!  Sometimes the DH's just need a little time but they do eventually come around!!

Blessed1010

I'm so glad that the two of you were able to sit and talk calmly. I do hope that you soon find both of yourselves on the same page. Hope you take advantage of the package you've already purchased. Good luck to you.

STL34

Sounds like you had a great conversation.  Your relationship is definitely the most important thing!  I hope you guys are able to continue the conversation and figure out what is best for you.  I know how hard a DOR Dx can be.

So, did you do a multi-cycle IVF package that you have only done 1 cycle out of?  And the issue is whether PGD should be added (with PGD obviously being outside of the package)?  If that is the case, you could always consider cycling again without PGD.

There is so much information (some of it conflicting) about PGD.  I am DOR, too.  So, my RE brought up doing CGH (a type of PGD).  Anyhow, we discussed this and decided it wasn't for us.  The cost to do CGH would mean one less IVF cycle we could do.  And, given that they retrieve so few eggs, there was no reason that we couldn't transfer them all and see if one made it.  That is the route we chose.  We don't have any genetic issues (like a balanced translocation or CF) to look for.   And, its not like if they found something wrong they could fix it.  You just wouldn't transfer that embie.  So, that is the route we decided worked better for us. 

Nesting.Away

Just wanted to say I was thinking of you. Wishing you the best!

Mayan2011

I am glad that you guys are making progress.  DH and I are in a very similar situation, in terms of emotional dealings.  I would cycle again right away, but he needs more time so we are thinking about cycling again in July.  IF is so hard on the couple as a whole and affects individuals differently, which makes things even more difficult.  Taking time-out for just the two of you sounds perfect!  Enjoy.

patchen30

I'm glad you guys are getting somewhere.  ((Hugs)).  I'm sure you'll be able to come up w/ a plan that makes you both happy.

whitewave26

I'm glad to hear you two were able to have that conversation.  Sometimes, you just need a little break from everything.  Maybe you can plan a weekend getaway or something. 

psychmusetls

I am so happy to hear that you guys had a nice talk.  you & DH are in my thoughts

matt'sbride

So glad it went well! GL you guys!

Sunshine05

I'm glad he started to come back around.  I think it just takes guys longer to process things like that when it hits them out of nowhere.  I hope this break will do you both a world of good and you can come back with clear heads.  Thinking of you.  *hugs*

LaneCA

Your DH sounds like a great guy -- I'm glad he suggested you sit down and talk things through. (((hugs)))

PurpleIris30

I'm just logging on for the first time today, and thought I would respond to this message.  I just wanted to say that I am sorry about your bad news today.  I've done a lot of research on PGD (at all of the clinics in WA and the surrounding area), so if I can help with any of that, please let me know!

jlcrane78

STL34:

Sounds like you had a great conversation.  Your relationship is definitely the most important thing!  I hope you guys are able to continue the conversation and figure out what is best for you.  I know how hard a DOR Dx can be.

So, did you do a multi-cycle IVF package that you have only done 1 cycle out of?  And the issue is whether PGD should be added (with PGD obviously being outside of the package)?  If that is the case, you could always consider cycling again without PGD.

There is so much information (some of it conflicting) about PGD.  I am DOR, too.  So, my RE brought up doing CGH (a type of PGD).  Anyhow, we discussed this and decided it wasn't for us.  The cost to do CGH would mean one less IVF cycle we could do.  And, given that they retrieve so few eggs, there was no reason that we couldn't transfer them all and see if one made it.  That is the route we chose.  We don't have any genetic issues (like a balanced translocation or CF) to look for.   And, its not like if they found something wrong they could fix it.  You just wouldn't transfer that embie.  So, that is the route we decided worked better for us. 

Originally I was not an advocate of PGD in our situation because we didn't have a lot of embryos.  I was willing to transfer everything over multiple cycles to find the one that works.  The problem is we open ourselves up to trisomy issues if we transfer embryos that haven't been PGD'd.  He says I have the egg quality of a 45 year old, which includes the greater risk of Down's, etc.  The PGD will be helpful in determining viability, however he sees it as crucial in detecting an abnormality.