Trouble TTC

Meltdown at the RE's

I completely fell apart this morning at my baseline. 

When I checked in at the reception desk, the reception lady who has been there since we started seeing my RE last March.  She gave me this sad look and it sort of hit me....yep, here I am again.  4 IUIs, 2 IVFs and not a glimmer of a second line.

Everything seemed harder today.  The u/s gel was icier, the blood draw seemed to hurt more, there were more pregnant women in the waiting room.  I cried through my u/s, b/w and then had to compose myself in the ladies room before I could leave.  I felt so alone...I didn't have time to go home before work, or I would have just to get a hug from DH. 

I suspected that IVF #3 would be very difficult but I didn't expect it to start so soon.

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Re: Meltdown at the RE's

  • Hang in there, love.  I have everything crossed for you that the 3rd time is the charm.

     ::hugs and snuggles::

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  • I'm so sorry.  I hope the third time works for you!!
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  • I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time! I completely understand though! I have my WTF appointment for IVF 2 tomorrow and I have a feeling I'm going to be bawling the whole time. I really really hope the 3rd time works for you! ((Hugs!!!!))
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  • (((hugs))) fingers crossed 3rd times a charm for you!
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  • I'm so sorry hun. I really hope this is it for you!

    {{big hugs}}

    after 2+ years, 3 failed IUIs, 2 failed IVFs with a c/p
    IVF#3 brought us our miracle baby girl on June 26, 2012

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  • I'm so sorry :(

    I'm really hoping this is it for you....I'm sending you all the positive vibes I've got :)

    Me: 35 I DH: 38
    *TW loss and children mentioned*
    DD:2006 | Dx: Unexplained Secondary Infertility | DS: 2011

    TFAS since 2012

    Oct 16: Spontaneous BFP | m/c @ 9w1d (massive SCH) | D&C
    Apr 17: IUI #1 = BFN
    May 17: IUI #2 = BFN
    Jun 17: IUI #3 = Late BFP (18 DPO) | NMC 17Jul17 @ ~6w
    Aug 17: IUI #4 = Cancelled due to premature ovulation | TI = BFN
    Sep 17: IUI #5 = Cancelled due to overstimulation (10+ follies)
    Nov 17: IVF #1 = Cancelled due to non-IF related health issue | TI = BFN
    Dec 17: IVF #1 = Puregon 200, Menopur 75, Orgalutran, Suprefact trigger due to OHSS risk | 22R, 18M, 16F, 10B frozen  
    Feb 18: FET #1 (medicated) = BFN
    Mar 18: FET #2 (natural cycle) = CP (beta 1: 54; beta 2: 0)
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = cancelled due to missed ovulation
    Apr 18: FET #3 (natural cycle) = BFP! Beta 1: 201  Beta 2: 585 Beta 3: 3254 Beta 4: 9715 U/S 19May - one bean measuring on track with a HB of 125!
    EDD: 07Jan2019 Team Green
    My Rainbow Baby Boy born 03Jan2019 <3 

  • Thank you so much, ladies.  I so appreciate your hugs, understanding and good vibes :)
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  • hugs to you. it's not fair Sad
    b/w=FSH 15.6, AMH 0.4 surprise natural BFP on 3/12/11
    DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d

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  • I'm sorry you are having a rough day. (((hugs))) I hope IVF#3 is gives you your take home baby.


    TTC#1 for 19 months with PCOS and MFI IUI#3 + injectables = BFP!!!!  Beta#1-134(13dpiui) Beta #2-392(15dpiui) 
    #1 born December 2011
    TTC#2 - Beta #1 -51@10dpo Beta#2 -1353 @16dpo
    #2 born May 2013
    TTC # 3 June 2014 BFP 12-1-14
    #3 born August 2015 
    #4!!!!!!! due June 2017 
  • ((hugs)) if it's any comfort we are all here for you. I'm sorry your going through all of this.
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  • I'm sorry you had such at rough appt. at the RE today magnolia.  :-(  Sending super big hugs your way.
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  • ((HUGS))  I know how you feel.  You are not alone.  I am rooting for you every step of the way, hon!  Sending positive T&Ps your way.  Stay strong and take care of yourself.

    imageimage


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

  • I am so sorry, magnolia. ((hugs))
    DS born 12/2011
    DD born 03/2014

  • *hugs* to you.  I'm so sorry.
    image
    It took 5 failed IUIs and a failed IVF, but our FET worked!
    My pregnancy after Infertility Blog
    Our baby girl was born on April 27, 2011!
  • I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how incredibly difficult this is for you. I truly hope number 3 is your lucky charm. ((hugs))
    TTC since 04/2010
    Ovarian cancer survivor
    DH= low motility
    2/9/11 lap & hysteroscopy- uterine polyp & scar tissue removed
    3/25/11 IUI#1= BFP m/c; D&C at 7w3d (Trisomy 16)
    IUIs #2, #3, #4 and #5= BFNs
    Onto IVF #1= BFN
    FET 4/6/12= 2 extended blasts transferred, with one hatching
    Beta 1= 607; Beta 2= 1,564; Beta 3= 24,439; Beta 4= over 64,000
    First u/s on 5/10= TWINS! Heartbeats 158 and 160!
    It's a boy and a girl!
    Pregnancy Ticker
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    Huge congrats to my beautiful BFPB lmj8284, due June 2012!
    "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -FDR
  • I'm so very sorry you are having to deal with this.  Sending lots of T&Ps!

    Diagnosed PCOS 2/07, TTC #1 since 8/09
    11/10 - Clomid Round 1 = BFN
    12/10 - Clomid Round 2 = BFN
    1/11 - Voluntary Break = BFN (duh)
    2/11 - Clomid Round 3 = BFN
    3/11 - Femara + IUI = BFP * Beta#1=56 * Beta#2=266
    *Cautiously expecting baby girls on November 28, 2011*
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  • imageSTL34:
    ((HUGS))  I know how you feel.  You are not alone.  I am rooting for you every step of the way, hon!  Sending positive T&Ps your way.  Stay strong and take care of yourself.

    thank you, love.  I'm rooting for you especially hard! 

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  • Oh, I'm so sorry that you are struggling with this.  3rd times the charm!!
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  • Hugs to you!  Thinking of you!  I am here if you need to chat. 
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  • oh gosh...your post made me tear up.  I'm sorry you felt so alone and that your experience has been so difficult.  I hope that your spirits are lifted soon with a those two precious lines. 
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  • I am so sorry that you have to go through this process again. I can imagine that a number of us have experienced this as well. My RE's office has IF signs everywhere. I had my first appointment on Friday and it was so obvious that we were there for IF. I felt uncomfortable from the get go. Thank God my doctor is a sweetheart. Good Luck! Sending you positive vibes!
    TC #1 since Dec 2010 Me: 31 | DH: 30
  • I am so sorry sweetie!!! ((hugs)) to you! I really hope this round is it for you!!!
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    Noah's Blog TFAS Chart
    BFP 12-16-08...blighted ovum at 8 wks
    BFP 4-26-10....ectopic at 6 wks
    BFP 4-4-11... Our little Noah arrived 11-15-11!
    TFAS Sept 2012
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    Made so many amazing bump friends along the way... Congrats to my bump besties and IRL friends..sbuxsweetie (Colin is here, and is going to be a big brother!),kellbranc (Luca is growing so fast) and lots of prayers and baby dust to willamina (HUGS) So blessed to have met these ladies!!!
  • thank you so much.  I don't know what I would do without this board!!
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  • I'm sorry love hang in there! I hope 3rd time is a charm for you. Big ((hugs))
    imageimage
    image
    TTC Since 2/2009
    2/2010 - 5/2010 Testing with OBGYN
    8/2010 First RE Appointment
    11/2010 Second Opinion RE Appointment
    12/2010 Clomid + IUI #1 = BFN
    1/2011 Clomid + IUI #2 = BFN
    2/2011 Clomid + IUI #3 = BFN
    5/2011 IVF #1, ET 6/2, Beta 6/15 = BFN
    8/2011 FET ET 9/12 = BFN :0(
    On a break to save money.
    1/2012 IVF #2 ER 1/12, ET 1/15, Beta 1/27 = BFFN
    4/2012 FET ET ??/?? =
    p/saif welcome
  • ::hugs:: love ya girlie!  You know I'm always here! 

     

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  • (((((hugs))))))) to you magnolia...I hope that IVF #3 is your last!
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  • I'm so sorry. Prayers and hugs for you
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  • I am so sorry!!!  I really hope that this 3rd times a charm and that you get your BFP.  {{{hugs}}}
    image
    Mrs. Little Drew 10/25/08
    Blog
    TTC since 1/2010 - Dx with Stage IV Endo
    11/10 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
    12/10 - Unmedicated cycle due to RE not doing treatments in December = BFN
    1/11 - 100mg Clomid + trigger + IUI + Estradiol + Progesterone = BFN
    2/11 - Same sh!t, different month = IUI cancelled due to no response = BFN
    IVF #1 - Start stims (Follistim) 5/10, add in Ganirelix 5/14
    ER 5/21 - 13 retrieved, 7 mature, 5 fertilized; ET 5/26 - transferred one perfect 1AA blast. 3 snowbabies.
    Beta 6/3 - 15.8; Beta 6/7 - 21.8; Beta 6/10 - 7 :(
    FET - Transferred 1 AA blast 7/11. Beta 7/20 - 311! Beta 7/22 - 784!! First u/s 8/10
    *~PAIFW/SAIFW~*
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Magnolia, I am so sorry.
  • I'm so sorry hon. I really hope this one is it for you. Huge hugs!
    TTC #1 12.2009 BFP #1 7.2.2011 Baby Girl 3.17.2012
    Cycle 11 - Clomid 100mg + Follistim + hCg trigger + IUI= BFP!
    Beta/P4 #1(13dpo): 94.5/47, Beta/P4 #2 (17dpo): 625/19.5, Beta/P4 #3 (19dpo): 1285/18.2
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  • I'm sorry to hear that this cycle has been off to a rough start emotionally.  Hang in there and hopefully your day will go by quick so that you can get that hugh from DH.  Good luck that 3's the lucky number.
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  • You're not alone. Some days it does seem that even a shot is more difficult. And a little time to recoup makes a big difference.
    I really wish this to be your cycle. Hugs.

    TTC since 1/2008
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Im so sorry sweetie. Hang in there. I know this is going to be it for you. *big hugs*
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  • ((huge hugs))
    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
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    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
  • I sincerely hope the third time is the charm for you and ((hugs)) to you for your not-so-good day.

    "I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted what I asked of him." ~1 Samuel 1:27
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    "Whatever it takes, we walk together." ~Pittsburgh Penguins
    My IF-turned-baby blog
  • I'm sorry hun - I really hope that this is the time for you!!
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  • ((HUGS)) Honey, its so unfair that you are having to go through so much. I'm praying March is a lucky month for you and 3rd times the charm.

    Sending thoughts and prayers your way. 

    New to 3T? Check out this website first:
    TroubleTTC

    image
    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic

    **TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
    **Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **

    **7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
    **3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
    **DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
    **HSG= All clear!!**
    **3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
    **5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
    **7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
    **8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
    **11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
    **Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
    **Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
    **Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
    **On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**

    **Jan 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.2= CANCELLED due to high prolactin level, MRI scheduled, pituitary adenoma found, put on Dostinex**
    **Mar 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.3= CANCELLED due to uterine polyp, surgery scheduled for polypectomy and D&C**
    **03/22/13: Hysteroscopy, polypectomy and D&C**
    **May 2013: Finally got to start a cycle!!! Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.4 = BFFN (6mil, 74% motility, 2% morph)** 

    **Jun 2013: Decide to start IVF**
    IVF w/ICSI #1 (Long Lupron Protocol)
    06/26/13: Start BCPs
    07/02/13: HSG #2= all clear
    07/15/13: Start Lupron 10 ius
    07/25/13: Suppression check
    07/28/13: Start stims (225IUs Follistim + 75IUs Menopur) drop to 5 IUs Lupron
    08/01/13: Monitoring: 12 follicles all about 10mm, E2- 313
    08/04/13: Monitoring: 18 follicles (15mm, 13mm, a few 11mm, rest 10mm or below) E2- 1,505
    Start Augmentin- antibiotic prep
    08/06/13: Monitoring: 13 follicles (18mm, 17mm, rest b/w 15mm-16mm!) Ready to trigger!! E2- 2,248
    08/08/13: ER-- 14R, 13M, 10F 
    08/11/13: One fertilized late, we now have 11 embryos!
    08/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Sheldon and Penny) 3AA and 3BB, none to freeze
    8/23/13: BFFN... Sheldon and Penny didn't stick**

    **8/29/13: Follow up... bad fragmentation issues. Changing protocol to Antagonist for round #2 coming soon! Also started on 81mg Aspirin after getting blood panel done and found out I have PAI-1**

    **Oct 2013: After large cysts, finally starting IVF #2**
    IVF w/ICSI #2 (Antagonist Protocol)
    BCPs started back in Sept due to cysts
    10/27/13: Start stims (225 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)
    11/03/13 - 11/05/13: Add Ganirelix to the mix
    11/06/13: 3 follicles at 18mm-- Ready to trigger!
    11/08/13: ER-- 17R, 13M, 8F
    11/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Luke and Leia) 5AB and 4AB, 1 frostie
    11/20/13- 11/23/13: light positives on FRERs and Wondofos
    11/22/13: BFN per RE office (under HCG of 10)
    11/27/13: CP ::sigh::

    *12/03/13: Follow up...great response and quality this time, was given 50% chance of it working, just didn't stick. Great plan for 2014! 

    **Jan 2014: Last IVF of our SRP**
    IVF w/ICSI, freeze all, then FET
    12/27/13: Start BCPs
    01/19/14: Stims (375 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

    Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies! <3<3  
    ~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~

    *S/PAIFW*

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  • Magnolia, it makes me so sad to read this. I haven't been in your exact situation, but I can imagine what it would feel like. I think I would be having the same reaction. I am sending you some {{{{{big hugs}}}}} and t&p for your comfort. I am so sorry that you are in this place and I hope that #3 is the lucky one for you. 
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  • Thank you so much for all your support.  I know we say it all the time, but I honestly don't know what I would do without you ladies.

    (((((hugs)))))) to all.

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