definitely on a roller coaster
This post could be totally obsolete in 8 short hours.
This weekend has been crazy. After just about puking on Friday eating an apple (that was just Friday, right?), I could barely order food at a restaurant on Saturday at lunch. Today, I could eat anything in sight.
My temps were nice and solid-strong, until this morning I had an alarming dip (a day earlier than I'd expect, too). I would normally say, well, that's it. But before being able to temp, I had a variety of things happen with DS, including being up early for a poopy diaper change and having to talk on an off for an hour because he woke up before DH's time to take him while I "sleep in" (it usually works). Talking and more oddly, walking around, always seems to lower my temp. But I did sleep for another hour and get the same result, so it should have fixed itself, though I can't swear I wasn't mouth-breathing with my stuffy nose. Anyway, if I wonder about my temp and take it in the afternoon after lying down for a bit, it's usually spot on with my morning temp. I ended up napping with DS today, and couldn't not temp, and it was exactly as I expected it. OMG ladies, I'm losing it!
My POAS regimen (testing out the hCG shots) was going well, and this morning the line looked as dark as the day before, which seemed like a good thing. Until I POAS an hour ago and I had to really squint, which is what it should be if there's no blast in there. 
Blah blah blah fishcakes about it not being FMU and a stupid move, but there you have it.
I have had pre-AF feeling cramps for 4 days. She really feels like she's around the corner. About to jump out and scare the crap out of me. I do remember writing a really depressed post to the TTC35+ board the night before my BFP with DS with the same AF complaint, so I'm trying to hold out hope and yet not feel like a sucker.
If I'm not knocked up, I have never felt more like it, and yet it's really hard to ignore the first temps this morning and be mad at myself for deluding myself.
Meanwhile, I'm starting to panic about what would happen if this really works. I mean, I am 41 y'all. Can I do this? What if this is all a sign?
Waah.
Re: definitely on a roller coaster
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
I really hope those are all good signs. Anything is possible but the mind games are just ridiculously tiring!
(p.s. I came on here whining about AF cramps and another short cycle, so I thought, a couple days before I got a +hpt) Fingers are crossed for you!
Mom to Teagan 4.11.07 and Cora 9.30.11
D&E @ 22w 9.30.09 CMV infection BFP 10.15.10 C/P 4w4d