From Elation to Heart Break
A little over a month ago, I was so excited to learn that I had conceived. As a 32 y/o woman who had tried unsuccesfully to conceive with her first husband for about a decade, the digital read out that read PREGNANT was a very beautiful sight. I have only been married to my current husband for half a year, but we knew we would try to conceive immediately. It only took us four months of trying.
I finally had my first US this past Thursday. I had started bleeding the day before, so I was feeling a little ominous about the appt. We skipped all of the formalities and went straight to the US as a result of the bleeding. It was very apparent that something wasn't right. I was nine weeks along, but the digital read out when measured kept saying 7w2d. Not to mention there was no detectable heart beat. After a few tears, I gathered myself and went to the lab to get my HCG bw.
Late that same night, I was awakened with horrible cramping. I used the bathroom and had lots of blood clots in the toilet. Thankfully, my body did the work of expelling the lifeless embryo. I will have more bw tomorrow morning, but my follow up isn't until Thursday. I am hoping that my body will have taken care of the process, and no invasion measures will be necesary.
I seem to be in a haze. I find the sadness completely dibilitating at times. I try to stay positive about the fact that I CAN conceive. Which is something I could have said two months ago.
If you are having similar emotions and would like to talk, I would love the interaction. This is one way to make the silent loss a little less silent.
Re: From Elation to Heart Break