So today is our annual girls' trip. My sister was supposed to baby-sit Ad, but she scheduled her tonsil surgery for this week (even though I reminded her of this weekend a hundred times before she scheduled it) and didn't feel up to it. DH works nights and weekends but said he would ask off. But, as this weekend got closer, DH realized that this was a big money weekend and make extra money if he worked tonight. Being a responsible parent, I told him to not take off work because I couldn't have him give up a big payday because I wanted to go out of town. My mom then said she would come down, but my dad was not feeling well so she had to bail (which I totally understand because he has a lot of health issues.) So I hung out with the girls during the day, but had to leave to get home to be with Ad so DH could go to work. Sometimes being a parent (and responsible) is lonely.
I love our schedule for Ad. DH and I work opposite schedules so she can stay home with one of us and it works so well for her. I just feel lonely a lot lately. I work all week and on the weekends I am home alone because DH works. I am jealous of my friends that get to go out a lot. They always invite me but it is hard to find baby-sitters and I rarely can go. I don't really feel like a part of my friend group anymore because I rarely see them. And I feel guilty for feeling this way because I love Ad. She has brought unbelievable joy into our lives! I never knew how much I could love someone until having her, but sometimes it is so hard.
Vent over. Just needed to get it out!