What are your thoughts? <long>
I have held my tongue because it's truly not my place to say what should and should not be done in his family. He has to make choices between himself and his wife, but he can't pay CS for our DS.
When I was pg with DD so was my SD's BM and my DS's SM. Yes, all three of us were PG together. GREAT! Well, SD's BM and I both had healthy children. DS's SM lost her child because of IUGR.
I felt terrible for her loss. I really did. It had a bad affect on me because I worried every day until my baby girl made it into the world.
Here's the issue: My DS's BF CAN'T PAY CHILD SUPPORT for his son. He and his wife went through testing and have figured out that she needs to be on a blood thinner in order for her to have a succesful pregnancy. Yep, Ladies, they want to have ANOTHER child when he can't pay for the responsibilities he already has.
GET THIS: She has "two associates degrees" which she does nothing with. She stays in the camper trailer that is his parent's. They used to live inside the house with them until some issues came up. Yeah, they don't have enough money to get their own place. They had their own place, but Mr. Job Jumper couldn't hold his job long enough to stay in it.
I wish that he would somehow miraculously understand that he already has one child that he needs to be financially responsible for before bringing another one into the world.
I went in to have our case moved from one county to another since we've both moved. He didn't show. The information I got at the time says that he might have to spend six months in jail because of lack of payment. So, how are you going to work on bringing a child into the world from jail? I'm just saying.
Re: What are your thoughts? &lt;long&gt;
This is really very simple. It's none of your business that they want to have a child and how bad of a decision that may be.
If he's not paying CS, (assuming you have a CO) then file a motion to have him held in contempt.
If you don't have a CO, then get one and then file a motion to have him held in contempt.
You won't get the money if he doesn't have any, but you don't gain anything by worrying about his life.
@Mrs.Hamilton: That is precisely why I have not said anything. It's not my place to tell him when he's being stupid.
@PP: I do have orders, but I have to wait until our case is sucessfully transfered to our county and heard by the judge before they will allow me to say "Go to jail." They've already added the title "Contempt" to the orders when they were transferring them (I received my copies).
I appreciate the thoughts. I just really wish people would think before they choose to have more children.
Actually I somewhat disagree with that. While it is their business to make good or bad decisions, the financial aspect of trying to conceive with difficulty, and all medical expenses entailed would affect the CS for the child.
That being said, I would stray away from mentioning their decisions being bad to them, but personally I would bring up the financial aspect. I tend to be very outspoken, so I can't really say as to what I would do otherwise. But personally, I would say something along the lines of "I know you're looking into having another child. And I know you're aware of how costly it can be. It's a difficult time making sure DS is taken care of financially as it is. Do you have some sort of plan I'm not aware of? Do we need to make changes to paperwork to reflect financial aspects I'm not aware of?" etc etc.
I'm all for personal issues staying personal, but if it were affecting my child, my life, my finances, then it's already been made my business.
Again, that's just how I would do it. You seem to be taking care of the court-related aspect, as best you can with the transfer of counties anyway. But I would definitely try to get some financial answers. It might make him reconsider having another child, though I'm sure that isn't your intention. It seems as though he doesn't feel responsible for past actions, and just wants to keep moving forward to new ones.
Best of luck!