Looking to Quit Work after baby comes.....

gbaby26

For those of you that know already you are not going back to work, yet to your job they think that you are....when are you going to break the news during your maternity leave? I have 4 months of leave- I am not sure when I am going to tell them that I am not coming back. I of course want to leave on good terms but I also want to not tell them too soon either....

 Any advice???

LovelyLou23

this was an ethical dilemna for me. possibly flameful, but i'll say it anyway....everyone told me to take my maternity leave and then call halfway through and say i'm not coming back. i've known since day 1 that i would stay home, so in my mind, it just wan't right not to tell them up front. I probably told back in january that i wouldn't be coming back after the baby is born. in my mind, it earns more respect to give them plenty of time to fill my spot, and a better chance if i ever needed to come back to work.

kck329

LovelyLou23:

this was an ethical dilemna for me. possibly flameful, but i'll say it anyway....everyone told me to take my maternity leave and then call halfway through and say i'm not coming back. i've known since day 1 that i would stay home, so in my mind, it just wan't right not to tell them up front. I probably told back in january that i wouldn't be coming back after the baby is born. in my mind, it earns more respect to give them plenty of time to fill my spot, and a better chance if i ever needed to come back to work.

I have to agree with this. If you already know you won't be going back, be upfront with your employer, its the right thing to do. And one day you may need to call on them for a reference-do you want the reference to include that you were responsible when you left, helped train a replacement, etc.  or that you basically left them without someone in the job?

pdilly2b

I'm going to start grad school in the fall but work doesn't even know that I've applied.  I have about 3 months of leave (sick and vacation) accrued.  I'm concerned about telling too soon because I need to stay on my health plan through my entire leave.  I am concerned if they consider my last day to be in May, then it won't be covered (unless I do COBRA) for June, July, and August, which would cost a ton out of pocket.  I think I will tell them next month that I plan to start school in the fall unless something unanticipated happens but I won't officially resign until the end of my leave.  That way they can look for someone but since it's not official, I can technically keep my job.

sugarangel77

I also agree- I think honesty is the best policy.

ksdodge

I am struggling with this as well.  We are 90% sure that I will not come back to work but we are not certain and honestly won't be until my 12 weeks of FMLA are almost up.  I would love to give my boss a heads up because he is a great boss but I also don't want to risk not having a job to come back to if I need to come back. 

The one option I have come up with and I am not even sure if it is a good option is coming back when my 12 weeks of FMLA are up but turning in my 2 weeks that day if I am able to SAH.

I don't know what the best thing to do is but I am interested to hear what people say. 

everam01

Check your company policy.

Due to people doing exactly what you plan to do, our company has a policy that states you must return to work for a minimum of 30 days after 3 months of FMLA or you owe back any benefits paid to you while you were out.  This includes the portion my company pays for our insurance premiums. 

Sucks, but abuse of the system leads to this.  If you're considering coming back, I understand not putting in a notice but if you KNOW you're not coming back that's another story. 

kck329

pdilly2b:

I'm going to start grad school in the fall but work doesn't even know that I've applied.  I have about 3 months of leave (sick and vacation) accrued.  I'm concerned about telling too soon because I need to stay on my health plan through my entire leave.  I am concerned if they consider my last day to be in May, then it won't be covered (unless I do COBRA) for June, July, and August, which would cost a ton out of pocket.  I think I will tell them next month that I plan to start school in the fall unless something unanticipated happens but I won't officially resign until the end of my leave.  That way they can look for someone but since it's not official, I can technically keep my job.

What are your plans for insurance when you are in school? As a full time grad student, I would say that if you plan to use the school insurance be sure to get a lot of information with written confirmation before you quit your job.  Universities are facing huge budget cuts and that means cutting funding for grad students. Some don't offer insurance at all and others offer really limited plans--do your homework before you rely on that for your family. (Not flaming you for your plan-just things I wish someone would have told me)

robbie3982

Definitely check your company's policy about what happens if you don't end up returning from leave, but I wouldn't say anything until after you've had the baby.

You never know what will happen.  Your DH could lose his job.  You could HATE staying at home.  I wouldn't say anything until you're 100% sure of what you want/need and, in my opinion, there's no way to know until after you've tried staying at home. 

pdilly2b

kck329:

pdilly2b:

I'm going to start grad school in the fall but work doesn't even know that I've applied.  I have about 3 months of leave (sick and vacation) accrued.  I'm concerned about telling too soon because I need to stay on my health plan through my entire leave.  I am concerned if they consider my last day to be in May, then it won't be covered (unless I do COBRA) for June, July, and August, which would cost a ton out of pocket.  I think I will tell them next month that I plan to start school in the fall unless something unanticipated happens but I won't officially resign until the end of my leave.  That way they can look for someone but since it's not official, I can technically keep my job.

What are your plans for insurance when you are in school? As a full time grad student, I would say that if you plan to use the school insurance be sure to get a lot of information with written confirmation before you quit your job.  Universities are facing huge budget cuts and that means cutting funding for grad students. Some don't offer insurance at all and others offer really limited plans--do your homework before you rely on that for your family. (Not flaming you for your plan-just things I wish someone would have told me)

Yup - totally good points.  My grad program covers my health insurance as part of the stipend (I think I pay 15% myself) - I count as a faculty member when I'm on a teaching or research assistantship so it's part of the huge group pool and I get to choose between BCBS, Aetna, and United Healthcare with various PPO and HMO options.  DH has individual insurance, but the family plan through his work costs an arm and a leg, though it is a possibility if absolutely necessary.  The baby will go on the plan with me if I can do self + 1, but if we have to go the family plan route, then all 3 of us will go on my insurance.

nickelbabi

robbie3982:

Definitely check your company's policy about what happens if you don't end up returning from leave, but I wouldn't say anything until after you've had the baby.

You never know what will happen.  Your DH could lose his job.  You could HATE staying at home.  I wouldn't say anything until you're 100% sure of what you want/need and, in my opinion, there's no way to know until after you've tried staying at home. 

This. I know everyone wants to be honest and ethical, but you could be putting yourself in a bad situation by telling them too soon. Companies have to look out for their own best interest and you have to look out for yours (and your new baby's). Talk to your HR and let them know you are considering not coming back but you want to know your options and the company policies before you decide. As long as you follow their policies, I don't see any issue with waiting to tell them. Giving them an "undecided" answer will somewhat prepare them if you decide not to go back, but it will also protect you.