Pros/Cons of his name on BC?

bradyg927

Sorry if this comes off as a dumb question...

What are the pros and cons of having XH's name on our LO's birth certificate?  I never really thought about it until someone in another support group mentioned that it was good to keep their name off the BC.  I'm sure every case is different....but I guess I'm just trying to see if there is any reason to not have him sign the BC.  Thanks!

 

r9stedt

What is your back ground?  Does he acknowledge the child?  He will be paying child support, correct?  

 

PrincessFiona9

tifanico:

I guess it depends on the state but in VA for a father to be able to be on the BC he has to sign an affidavit of paternity. If you are going to file for CS then it would save you the trouble of having to establish paternity and DNA tests.

Now, if you are thinking that you dont him to be part of the life of the child then dont put him on it. 

This.

bradyg927

He has changed his story often....He originally wanted a paternity test, which of course I'm more than happy to do.  Then he said he wanted nothing to do with me or baby if I didn't move in with him to where he now lives, which is several states away.  I told him no.  Then he said he wants to know when LO is arriving so he can be there at the hospital.  Then he told me he is going to move back here to be part of baby's life.  But now I haven't heard from him in weeks.  Since his story changes so often and he has a tendency to lie, everything is up in the air.

So pretty much, if he makes it to the hospital and signs the BC, or he can sign something at a later date, it saves me time from having to track him down for a paternity test to start collecting child support?  No cons for having him sign it, right?  

haleyw458

It sounds like you should have him sign it. It would be one step closer to getting CS faster. If you don't put him on it, you will have to have a paternity test that could delay CS.

bradyg927

Sorry I didn't see the rest of the posts before I posted....

If his name is not on the BC, I can still order a paternity test, and file for child support?  But if he wanted any type of custody or visitation, he would have to file that in court, correct?

I have no problem with him being part of LO's life.  And while I want LO to have a father, my XH is an alcoholic, and am worried about what company he might bring around LO.  If he can't get his act together, I worry about LO having overnights with him. 

haleyw458

bradyg927:

Sorry I didn't see the rest of the posts before I posted....

If his name is not on the BC, I can still order a paternity test, and file for child support?  But if he wanted any type of custody or visitation, he would have to file that in court, correct?

I have no problem with him being part of LO's life.  And while I want LO to have a father, my XH is an alcoholic, and am worried about what company he might bring around LO.  If he can't get his act together, I worry about LO having overnights with him. 

Yes, CS and visitation are completely different things so he would have to file for visitation even if he pays CS.

Even if his name is not on the BC he can get visitation if he files for it whether you want him to or not.

MsJosie

bradyg927:

He has changed his story often....He originally wanted a paternity test, which of course I'm more than happy to do.  Then he said he wanted nothing to do with me or baby if I didn't move in with him to where he now lives, which is several states away.  I told him no.  Then he said he wants to know when LO is arriving so he can be there at the hospital.  Then he told me he is going to move back here to be part of baby's life.  But now I haven't heard from him in weeks.  Since his story changes so often and he has a tendency to lie, everything is up in the air.

So pretty much, if he makes it to the hospital and signs the BC, or he can sign something at a later date, it saves me time from having to track him down for a paternity test to start collecting child support?  No cons for having him sign it, right?  

 

This sounds like my situation EXACTLY! It's scary how many deuche bag guys are out there and are ok with not being involved with their children. I want my ex to NOT be around at all because he is a cocaine addict and became abusive towards me. I could only imagine our baby crying and he can't handle it and end up hurting her. I'm terrified of him getting visitation. If anything I want it to be supervised and I want to be there.

bella&baby

The only con when it comes to having his name on the BC is that until there is a custody order in place, he has as much custody as you do.

Wait it out. If he's willing to sign for paternity, CS won't be much of an issue when you file. If he wants a paternity test, then he'll have to file for it himself unless you do it to get CS.

When my son's father said he wanted a test done, I said fine...but until paternity is proven, don't assume you have a say in anything. When it comes down to it, unless he's there and signs the BC, he's responsible for proving paternity if he wants visitation. likewise, you'll be responsible for filing the paperwork should you want CS.

It's a tough road that you're on, and I wish you the best. What I determined to be best for my situation is not likely what you'll determine is best for yours. Take care, and do your best to put your LO first.

 

KaliChick

Someone correct me if I'm wrong ...

A) He has to be there at the time you fill out the birth certificate to sign it.  You cannot just arbitrarily put him on it. From the sounds of it, him showing up sounds questionable.

You can list him as the father and still give the child your last name.

 

My sister just had her judgment signed today that allows her daughters father to be on the birth certificate but changes her last name to my sisters.  He's not involved.  There's no reason she needs to have his last name.  It's easier and better for her to have my sisters last name.