I think my H is expecting way too much from the baby shower. (longish)

SarahRuthG

I am having a really hard time making my H understand that we aren't gonig to get every single item we will need for the baby at my shower. I am not planning on having a huge shower of any sort. Probably 25 people. Yes, some people are overly generous and will go above and beyond what is expected. But I tried to make H understand that women dont always want to shop off a registery, they want to shop for cute little baby clothes and cute little baby shoes and cute stuffed toys. Not swings and crib sheet and diaper rash cream.

H said: "Well they are just going to have to buy what we need, not what they want to buy."

 

So I said, "ok call your mom and tell her to pass that along to your family members". I'm sure the rsvp list for the shower will go way down after that! LOL!

The only thing we have purchased is a bedroom set, 4-1 crib, 5 drawer dresser and changing table/3 drawer dresser, that was on clearance so we got it 40% off. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do it. He doesn't want me to buy a pacifer or anything.

I know I have a ton of time still to get what we need and I might be totally shocked at what the guests give as gifts. A few bigger ticket items have already been "called" by my mother and grandmother. And I sure some of the other bigger items will be bought by H's family as groups (that's what they did at my bridal shower).

I just can't get him to understand that might not want to, or be able to, run around 8 months pregnant making sure I have enough crib sheets and odds and ends or even something really important. I have tried logic, no good. I have ended up breaking down about it, didn't sink in. Help! It's really stressing me out.

jessicaclare

Well, the list ofthings you actually NEED to bring the baby home is relatively small, but I did like that I stocked up on some things early on so it wasn't a huge sticker shock when we went to buy it all.

I had three showers (my family, DH's family and my friends) with my first and while I got tons of useful stuff, I barely got any of my big items. We were very lucky and my Dad surprised me by finishing out my registry for us, but I don't know many people that get all the things they need,no matter how many showers they have. Can your MIL or maybe a friend of his that has kids talk some sense into him? After all, showers really aren't for people to stock our nursery. A gift is a gift, you can't dictate what people buy. 

alioopsiedaisy

Did he know how expensive a baby was going to be before you were TTC?

I'd made it clear to him Its not the responsibility of family/friends to make sure your baby has all the necessary items. 

If anybody ever told me what to bring as a gift to a shower I'd be shocked and seriously offended.  

SarahPLiz

Don't worry about having to run around. Amazon will deliver to your door You only need one crib sheet to bring baby home. You need a carseat, and outfit or 2 and some diapers. Everything else you can send others out for when you need it. 

stylechild622

All i can say is "sigh....MEN!" lol just add it to the list of what guys don't understand. Honestly honey with most guys its strength in numbers of opinions. if enough people tell him how baby showers really work i think he may understand quicker. if he doesn't get it, make sure he is the one running around when you are 8 months pregnant, not you. make sure to add "i told you so" lol

megd06

There really is no way to predict what you will get from your shower--I had 3, but 1 was really small (a work shower, about 10 people--and I received all small items at that one, but still needed). The only "big items" we had to run out and buy was our travel set and pnp--which were purchased using gift cards and our completion coupon, so we didn't pay COMPLETELY for them ourselves. We got our highchair, crib, bath tub, etc as gifts--but even if you don't, like PP have said--there's really only a few things you *have* to have when baby gets there. DS didn't use the highchair until he was 5 or 6 months old--before that, it sat in a box. Some people don't need a pack n play, etc. Just tell your H to be grateful for what you get, and for the rest-wait for the completion coupon

ETweet

SarahPLiz:

Don't worry about having to run around. Amazon will deliver to your door You only need one crib sheet to bring baby home. You need a carseat, and outfit or 2 and some diapers. Everything else you can send others out for when you need it. 

This.

Also, does hubby not understand that women go ga-ga over babies. They will not stick to a necessities registery. You are 100% correct in saying that we gravitate towards the adorable booties, clothes, blankies, etc... the things baby needs but not as much as some of the other things like diapers, sheets, carseat, etc.

MissLMS

I would tell your DH not to expect any gifts. Yes, you'll get gifts at your shower. But, who knows what you'lll get. I wouldn't depend on that.

We had four baby showers and got a ton of clothes, burp cloths, blankets, etc. But no big items. My IL's bought our stroller and we bought all the other big items. We actually got our swing and exersaucer at a kids consignment sale to save some money.

Iblamethebeer

If what your husband is saying is "don't run around buying things until after your shower" then I think he has a point.

Definitely, you will need to spend some money and fill in holes, but there's really no way to know in advance what those holes will be.  Maybe everyone will tie a pacifier onto their gift as wrapping, and you'll be totally overrun.  Or maybe no one will get you a pacifier.  Maybe you won't register for crib sheets because you already bought 4 pair, and multiple people at your shower will say "oh my gosh!  I looked at your registry and realized you forgot crib sheets, so I bought you some!"  

Curb the shopping impulse by using the registry gun instead, and then you can go in with very little hassle and buy whatever else you need after your showers are over. 

SarahRuthG

Thanks, Ladies.

H just totally made me insane last night by saying that people will have to buy what we want them too. He understand women don't work that way. Then when I told him to call his mother right that very moment to tell her to pass that along to his family he shut his pie hole. If someone said "Buy me this." I would say "Bye bye" and not go to the shower!

I have no plans to run out and buy a million things. But I do want to look around. I am a sale/coupon shopper, if I can get something you need for a good price I am going to get it. Any extras we get at the shower can always be returned. I pretty much told H since he is being so pig headed and stubborn I am just going to do what I think I should do and he can deal with it. He is being complete unreasonable. I'm not, other then the furniture I haven't purchased a single baby item even though I have looked countless times.

Fisherman'sWife

Well hopefully you guys can come to an agreement.

What MH and I did was make a list of anything that would cost over $100.  We are planning on having to purchase all of that.  Is there a chance someone at our shower steps up to buy a big ticket item, sure, but we don't want to count on it.  

Anyways, we added up the big ticket things and then rounded up for some buffer.  We know we have to stay within that budget and anything we save can then be spent on some of the smaller things.