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PP sexy time - Am I being unreasonable?

So my DH has recently made it very clear that he wants more sexy time.  I am very happy that he still finds me attractive, believe me!  I am just not usually in the mood for it at all.  I have been struggling with PPD, recently lost my job and was the sole provider of benefits and a steady income, am dealing with my mom's divorce at 60 while she is retired and has been cut off by her prick husband, and have just been dealing in general with being a new mom and struggling with the lack of sleep and general body issues.  In the beginning the sex was painful but now is OK to handle.   I feel like if we can manage to have sex once a week now, we are doing good.  He wants like 3 times a week and seems to be very upset about the lack of this happening.  I was not into sex while pregnant and then after the baby, like I said, it was painful.  In the past year since I have been pregnant, we have probably had sex like 15 times.  Low yes, I know.

Am I being unreasonable telling him that this is "normal" and that it will come back in time or do I need to suck it up, no pun intended!  

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Re: PP sexy time - Am I being unreasonable?

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    Having a lot of issues with PPD myself,I can tell you that sexy time has helped. I know it is hard to get in the mood.Just try. Sex triggers your body to make certain hormones and it really does help.
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    No you are not out of line, you are trying and that is what counts.

    If it helps mine came back alot after I stopped nursing/pumping and I felt like I had my body back.

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    I think you should tell your H about all the stress your under as a new mom, PPD, not having a job and your moms divorce. Explain to him that sex is not on the top of your list. Also tell him you don't mean to put him on the back burner but ask him if he will help you through all of this and not add more stress to the top by wanting sex 3 times a week. Maybe compromise with once a week for now then move up to more times as you start to feel better.

    You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of your H's desires. 

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    imageuluvfranke:
    Having a lot of issues with PPD myself,I can tell you that sexy time has helped. I know it is hard to get in the mood.Just try. Sex triggers your body to make certain hormones and it really does help.
    This. Sex could be helpful. I usually am like "ugh I don't want to" but when things finally get going, I find motivation and am glad I went along with it. Like pp said, just try ;)
    "Seriously, mommy forum people are some crazy ass bitches." New Year New You
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    Holy geez, I don't think you're being unreasonable at all...DH and I are lucky to get it on once a week and that's without any of the issues you are dealing with, so I definitely think you have very good reasons for not having this high on your priority list!

    Like PP said, I have heard that sometimes "sucking it up" (haha) does actually end up putting you in the mood creating a good cycle of realizing it's fun, then making time to do more, etc., but I also think if you can get him to compromise somehow (maybe 1x a week now, then find time for 2-3x a week when some things get a bit more settled) that could help him realize you're willing to play too but just need some patience. Good luck, with everything...I hope things improve soon!

    He's growing up, but he'll always be my baby!

    Nathan--11/4/10

    ...big brother to...???? Due March 2014!

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    It sounds like he needs to be more understanding.
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    Lack of interest in sex is perfectly normal, even without all the extra stress you have in your life. Until about a weeks ago, I wanted nothing to do with it, then all the sudden I got my libido back. Finally, at nearly 5 months pp, DH and I are on the same page again. Don't feel guilty, you are not being unreasonable, and assure your DH things will get better with time. Until then, he needs to be patient.
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    imagewearenutts:

    I think you should tell your H about all the stress your under as a new mom, PPD, not having a job and your moms divorce. Explain to him that sex is not on the top of your list. Also tell him you don't mean to put him on the back burner but ask him if he will help you through all of this and not add more stress to the top by wanting sex 3 times a week. Maybe compromise with once a week for now then move up to more times as you start to feel better.

    You need to take care of yourself first before you can take care of your H's desires. 

    We had a really long talk about the issues, again, last night.  He seemed receptive, so we will see.  I think mainly the issues is that he is not sure what is "normal" after having a baby.  I told him to find a new Daddy board and ask them.  None of his friends with kids talk about that of course.   I said that under normal circumstances with no new baby, yes, the low number of times we have had sex in the past year would be an issue but not for where we are now in our lives. 

    Thanks for your response ladies!  I just wanted to be sure that I wasn't being totally unreasonable in my statements.  I figured this was the norm basically.

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    I'd say just let him know how overwhelmed you feel and offer to meet somewhere in the middle. Maybe 2 nights a week?

    Unfortunately, even if you don't want to I feel like it's a very important part of a healthy marriage.. you'll probably both feel better afterward too! That's just IMO though

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