Scared and Upset — The Bump
LGBT Parenting

Scared and Upset

OMG...  My daughters grandmother (her Dads mom) is saying that she is looking into grandparents rights so she can get visitations with A.  She hasn't called A at our house in over 4 months because I told her she couldn't have A for one assigned day each month (ex: the 15th of each month).  She used to ask for A all the time and it got to the point where she was taking advantage and I had to start saying no.  I've been open to her calling and spending time with A but not ALL THE TIME.

She also said that she has noticed a change in A in the last couple of months, that A has become meek and afraid of adults.  She said that she wonders what's going on at our house and why she is acting this way now, pretty much saying that she thinks A is being abused.

I spoke to A's Dad and explained that we've noticed the change in her too and are doing our best to support her but that she might just be going through something that even she isn't sure about.  He said he is going to talk to his mom but who knows what's going to happen.

I am so scared, I don't want her to take me to court and try to paint a bad picture of me when I've only been trying to protect my daughter.  I'm also concerned that she is going to suck A's Dad into this whole ordeal, trying to get him to take me to court for more custody.  She is manipulative and will step on anyone to get her way.  I know she has nothing to use against me but I still can't help but be upset.

Re: Scared and Upset

  • I am so sorry. I would start keeping notes about when A sees her grandmother, conversations with the grandmother, etc. Hopefully, it will blow over.

     

    Hang in there!

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  • i'm sorry you're going through this, i'm sure its very scary :(

    2brides gave great advice: document, document, document

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  • That sounds scary!  And family drama is never fun, especially when it involves your children!  But I would be VERY surprised if she can legally get anywhere with this.  You are the mom, you've been approved as a foster parent, you get to choose who your daughter spends time with.  If her dad wants her to see grandma more often he should take care of it!  
    TTC with PCOS since July 2011.
    IVF Oct/Nov 2012
    Beta #1 = 77, Beta #2 = 190, Beta #3 = 1044
    Cautiously optimistic.
  • I am sorry you are going through this. Try to stay calm and document everything.  I find staying calm when dealing with someone who is being explosive (making erroneous accusations) or inflammatory usually gives me the upper hand in the situation.  You are going through so much right now, hang in there.
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  • if she is anything like my baby's grandma (my gf mom) i wouldn't advise you to talk to her... it will just give her more things to hate about you... just act like she doesn't exist... after all, she is not the one that should take you to court, his son is, so just keep in touch with him, talk to him bout the situation every ones in a while, so u now were you are standing, but let him handle his mother... after all it's his mother not urs

    hope this help! best of luck to u!!

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