My sister's selfishness strikes again

pandabearlover

Background:  My sister is one of the most selfish people I know.  When Carly was in the NICU, I asked her to help watch Betsy so I could visit and she said she "had to check her schedule for the week because she thought she had a hair appointment."  She never helped watch Betsy.  We made do with other family and friends (my mom also could not take off work, whatever), but my sister only works on the weekends and could have helped out.  And in my opinion, she should have.

Fast forward to now:

My parents left Saturday and she was supposed to arrive Sunday.  Her flight got cancelled because of weather so she got rebooked.  She was to fly from Des Moines to Atlanta to Honolulu and arrive here at 4pm today.  She decided she "can't sit on the plane for 8 hours straight" and rebooked her flight with an extra connection through Memphis and then LA with a 45 minute connection.  Guess what?  Her plane was late leaving Memphis so there is no way she will make her connection tonight unless they hold the plane.  There is one other flight to Honolulu tonight, but if she doesn't make that flight, she is stuck in LA until tomorrow.

I can't drive, I can't lift over 10 pounds and my DH has to work tomorrow.  I NEED help and she was supposed to be here to do that.  I am so mad at her!  I lost a baby and my uterus and she can't sit on a plane for 8 hours straight?  She flew to Europe to see us twice when we lived there! 

I seriously think this might be the end of my relationship with my immediate family. Is it wrong that I take pleasure in the fact that if she does get here tomorrow, she will have to wait until 4pm to get picked up?

sasa625

I am so sorry that you have to deal with this on top of everything else. I just don't understand family that isn't there when they are needed (and I have plenty of those family members unfortunately)

dana316

Wow....that just sucks. 

Maybe she'll show up and suprise you and be super helpful? 

 

OrangeSmoke

Wow - that sucks.

Sorry you had to deal with this on TOP of everything else....

Courted

I am so sorry you have to deal with a sister like that.  Sometimes family seems more like a hinder than help.  I totally understanding wanting to cut your realatioship with her, and maybe you should for at leats a while.  Let her come to you, communicate with you for a while.  It nice to not haver to think about those insensitive family member who only know how to take advantage of you. 

LIAngel

Okay I am steaming mad for you.   My sister just had a hysterectomy today and we all know that she will definitely need help for quite some time.    Thankfully my BIL (her DH) took the rest of the week off and my Mom is down here too to help with the kids (bring them to school, get them ready in the mornings).   I have to work this week, but of course if I had been needed I would have helped.   Plus my sister has an abundance of friends to help her too.  Once my BIL goes back to work next week, I'm sure my mom will ask me to help with stuff- either taking the kids to school or just staying with my sister and helping her if she needs anything- like help to the bathroom or whatever. 

Want me to send my mom to Hawaii to kick some sense into your sister? 

desabean

I am so sorry.  I can't imagine how painful this must be.

amberleeb

That is just awful!  I hope she surprises you and is a big help.

readyin07

I am so sorry I don't know if it's too late but tell her to speak to someone at the airline and let them know it's a bereavement flight. Maybe they will be willing to hold the plane. So sorry you are dealing with this.

schmoodle

I'm so sorry - she does sound very selfish and I wish she realized how much you need her help. This is the last thing you need to be dealing with right now.

tapgirl

I am so sorry.  That just sucks.  Incredibly selfish of her.

brideinOC

1. I think it hurts a thousand times worse when others grieve differently and not always appropriately, and end up hurting you. 

2.  At some point, you need to confront your family.  I make no excuses for your family, but I have an idea that they really don't know what to say or what to do.  The guy that owns the building I work in, came in a week after his wife died giving birth to their son.  I truly had no idea what to say to him.  And family should be different, but death and tragedy are so hard.  Not that it's right, but my gut says that maybe the delays and not rushing to get there are her way of putting off having to face reality. 

3. Big hugs, you should not have to be going through this and I'm really sorry that you have to.