Daycare moms: Are your kids sick all.the.time?

nicolita14w

I'm just wondering if my kids are particularly susceptible or if this is normal. I've been back to work for 6 weeks, hence the kids have both been in daycare for about that time (James was in daycare before that, too). They go 3 days a week (MWF). Not a week has gone by that both kids have been able to go to daycare all 3 days of a week. They are sick constantly.

The arrangement is just not working for us-- I'm a prof so I don't really get "sick" days-- I can't cancel class very frequently and it's hard to find subs. DH and I have been trying to trade back and forth but he's out of days and is now owing make-up days on weekends at work for each day he stays home with a kid.

 We can't afford for me to quit my job because even though almost my entire salary goes to daycare, I have the summers off (hence the kids stay home with me rather than going to daycare), and I still get paid then. It's a few thousand dollars, but we need those few thousand dollars.

I think a nanny would be too expensive. I don't know what to do. I feel like DH or I could end up losing our jobs if we keep having to take time off for sick kids. There are no "sick care" daycares in our area. I'm going to try to look online for a sitter who could stay with the kids when they are mildly ill, but don't know if I'll be able to find one since I usually won't know till the night before.

Argh-- this is hard.  

 ETA: This is Ben's first time in daycare but James has been in daycare since he was 7 months old, with the exception of last summer, and he's the one who gets sick more often.

Mouseygail

oh no, i'm sorry, that is a really tough schedule situation!!    DS has only been really sick this week...but he's had a constant runny nose since he started in daycare 4 months ago. 

EastCoastBride

This is the first time in daycare for both of them?  DS just started daycare too and he's been sick now too.

The reality is if it isn't daycare, then it will be preschool or kindergarten, etc.  Whenever your kids get around a bunch of other kids, they are going to have to run through all these illnesses to build up their immunity.  So if you avoid it now, you'll only have to deal w/ it later. 

You could try care.com or sittercity.com to post your "job".  You might find a couple people who aren't looking for permanent work but have the flexibility to be available last minute.

charmcitygirl

I know you think a nanny might be out of your price range, but perhaps it might not be.  Try craigslist or a local moms list serve.  Perhaps there is a nanny share that might take your kiddos.

Or is there a stay at home mom in your area looking for some additional income?  MWF isn't that bad and I think it would make a difference in your sanity!

(((hugs)))

nicolita14w

EastCoastBride:

This is the first time in daycare for both of them? 

 

Thanks-- this is the first time in daycare for Ben (who's 6 months) but James has been in daycare for about a year and a half and, oddly, he's the one who gets sick most the time.  

madhatter2003

For the first winter, yes. But it's much better now. This year DD hasn't been out at all and DS has only been out for pink eye.

sweetpea18

Reese is a constant snot factory in the winter. Just this week, I've gotten emails from school telling us that there are 2 confirmed cases of rsv and one of hand, foot and mouth. Thankfully, I have a job that is flexible and I can make up missed days on the weekend. You might want to look into a nanny. It make actually be affordable. Or see if there is a college student that can come to your house those days to watch the boys. (we actually looked into this option. We couldn't find anyone that could accommodate our schedules, though)

EastCoastBride

charmcitygirl:

I know you think a nanny might be out of your price range, but perhaps it might not be.  Try craigslist or a local moms list serve.  Perhaps there is a nanny share that might take your kiddos.

This too.  We have a very part time need for care for DS.  As such, hiring a nanny was actually cheaper for us for awhile. 

kme930

I was going to suggest nanny share also. You may want to look into that as a good compromise.

To answer your question, DS has been home sick 2 days in the 5 months he has been in daycare. I feel like our daycare does a good job of cleaning, etc to keep the germs at bay.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this. That sounds like a lot of sick days!

SeaSoul

I just posted about this the other day...yes!  And he's in an in-home daycare with only 2 other kids!  The other 2 don't get sick as often, so I think it's partly him.  And I keep trying to believe what others tell me, that this means his immune system is going to kick ass when he's older.  Sure hope so.

DH & I both ran out of leave time by the end of last year...we learned that we just couldn't plan 2 weeks of vacation anymore, because of all the leave time we now have to take (either for Cal or for us, or b/c the daycare is closed).  Sucks.  Your situation is a tough one.  I don't have any advice, just empathy!

ETA:  Cal doesn't actually miss that many days of daycare...and by "sick" it's almost always a mild cold, in which case his babysitter will allow them to stay.  But even so, there are times when he does have to stay home and between that, our own illness, and whenever the daycare is closed (either due to illness on their end, or vacations), we end up using up a lot of our leave time.

sasa625

Yes! DD is almost 20 months old and has been in daycare 2 days/week since she was 4 months old. She was sick once or twice last year and only missed 1 day of daycare from 4-15 months old. She got sick at the end of October and just finally started staying healthy (knock on wood... lots of it!) Luckily my principal is very understanding, but it is stressful for me when I have to miss a day because I'm only there 3 days/week as it is!

For us, I think it was mostly her ears. She had fluid in her ears from 12 months on, and we finally got tubes in early January which seems to have helped, at least so far. I also think that becoming more mobile and moving to the toddler room caused some of the problems too... she was interacting with more kids and playing with a lot more than she was in the infant room.

Hopefully you'll be able to find a solution that works for you. We considered the nanny route, but then realized we'd want DD in some kind of school program 2 days/week by next year anyway (plus a nanny would be way more than daycare!).

I hope your little guys are able to stay healthy very soon!

nicolita14w

Thanks, all. I will look into nanny and sitter options. I have nanny issues because I have this fear that my kids will become attached to and love the nanny more than me, but I guess I just need to get over that! I also would prefer to have especially James in an environment with other children because he has some developmental delays (which are improving hugely and I am very happy) and I feel like he thrives when he's around other kids, but that's what playgroups are for, too, right?

nicolita14w

sasa625:

We considered the nanny route, but then realized we'd want DD in some kind of school program 2 days/week by next year anyway

Yes, this, too. We want him in some sort of preschool at 3, most definitely.

Thanks! 

ejgballerina

All the time- especially the first year.  He goes to a WONDERFUL daycare center where he spends the majority of the day with about 5 or 6 other kids his age.  Then, at the end of the day, he goes in with the babies and hangs out with them until I pick him up.  So, he is exposed to about 14 little petri dishes all day long.    We love the daycare too much to get a nanny or in-home, though we discussed it after he was hospitalized for RSV.  The socialization and languages and just everything he is experiencing at daycare made us hesitant, plus he is clearly so happy there.  This second year has been SO much better.  He's been sick about two times this cold/flu season.. and will get the sniffles and runny nose often, but nothing too bad.  I think he will have an immune system of steel by kindergarten, hopefully.  Hang in there, I know how rough it is.

qtpa2t

Maybe you should look at an in-home daycare or a nanny share?  Gabrielle was first with a nanny share and is not in an in-home daycare, and in both cases, she rarely gets sick.  And certainly she's never been sick enough to stay home (at most it's been a runny nose).  With the in-home daycare, I've been able to negotiate a part-time schedule for my off-season to similarly save money and spend time with her myself.  And would a nanny be two expensive?  I would think with two kids in daycare, it would come in about the same.

Quizzle

We're in our third week of daycare and DD has been a snot factory since about the end of the first week. No fever and she seems to feel fine, though, so we're not sure if it's a mild cold or what (it's gotten worse since she went to daycare, but I think our weather/allergies are a large contribution to it since she was already a little snotty beforehand.) So no time out of school yet, I think they're used to it.

I'm sure the fact that I'm still breastfeeding and have a ridiculously good immune system myself helps... even so I caught the annoying cold that's going around and sound like I've smoked for 20 years right now since it settled in my throat.

Hopefully she won't have to stay home any time soon.. I just started my job so have no PTO yet. (I'm actually negative in PTO since I had to take a weather-related day off when I got iced in my first week.) DH would have to watch her.

schmoodle

Yes, Toodle is sick most of the time, but he rarely is sick enough that we can't send him to school. Usually he either has a cold (runny nose, sneezing coughing) or an ear infection (which often don't even bother him), and we only have to keep him home if he has a fever (hardly ever) or diarrhea/vomiting (he's never had a stomach bug, only diarrhea is in reaction to antibiotics which they acknowledge and don't send him home for). Are your daycare restrictions more strict than ours, or are your guys sicker? I'm so sorry, that has to be tough and I wish I had a recommendation. Maybe an in home daycare with fewer restrictions on illnesses (unless there are all serious enough that you need to be home taking care of them - Toodle usually is acting 100% normal which is why we don't really keep him home, he just has a permanent cold and ear infection).

nicolita14w

schmoodle:

Are your daycare restrictions more strict than ours, or are your guys sicker?

Mine are sicker. They get fevers all the time. Especially James. Today he is actually home for vomiting, though, not fever.  

xtencornfield

Unfortunately, this comes with the territory. We've been lucky that Ethan's only been sick a handful of times since starting DC at 4 mo. He just switched DC's a couple of weeks ago and he's had a runny nose, but thankfully it never turned full blown cold.

As pp's have said, you really might want to consider a nanny. Someone may have already suggested this, but you said you're a professor, could you find maybe a college student(s) (if your campus has a College/School of Ed) who might be able to watch them? I know that several people have part-time nannies around here that are college students at UIUC. Just a thought.

Otherwise, hang in there. It will get better, it just takes some time. Personally, I'm glad Ethan's getting it out of the way now before he starts preschool or grade school.

laura1

I would look into a nanny - we have one (granted it is only 2 days a week) and we pay $16/hr in Boston for our 2 kids.  If you are in the suburbs, you could maybe even pay less.  When we looked for daycare 2 days a week, it was about the same if not cheaper for our 2 to have a nanny.

I understand your worry on social interaction - I worry about that too.  We have gone to playgroups, Little Gym, story time at the library, music class, swimming, etc.  My DS is still shy, but he does get to interact with other kids and does learn lots from them.  

And I understand your fear about the kids liking the nanny more than you.  It still makes me sad when our nanny leaves during DS's nap time and when he wakes up asking for her.  However, when both she and I are there, he won't leave my side.  Your DSs will always love you more because you are the mommy!  

Good luck deciding!