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August 2011 Moms
Need some advice? Bridesmaid close to due date.
Good Morning Ladies!
I am due August 20th (with my first LO) so I don't know what to expect as far as will I be late/early or anything at all after I have the baby. A friend (not very close) had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding on September 16th prior to my BFP. I was kind of surprised since I am not super close with her but my DH is also a groomsman in the wedding as he is a close friend of the groom. So that means that both of us will be in the wedding (adult only wedding). But my in laws could watch the baby. The wedding is about 4 weeks after my due date, and my doc told me that normally with your first you tend to be late. I havnt bought a dress for the wedding yet we are supossed to go in a few weeks. I don't want to creat any type of drama but do you think this would be doable or should I save her the stress and not be in the wedding? I would love some honest opinions!
TIA!! 
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Re: Need some advice? Bridesmaid close to due date.
Wow! That's a tough one!
I would probably just be honest with her and let her know the situation. Your doctor shouldn't let you go a week past your due date, and I'm sure you'll be fine after 3 weeks of delivery (if everything goes smoothly). I would probably just explain the chance of possibly not being able to make it if complications arise and get her reaction/thoughts.
I think you'll be fine aside from trying to order a good dress size and have it altered but it's always good to be upfront with the bride.
There are a couple of us in your situation and it's mostly a personal choice. I am in a wedding a month after my due date but it's for my husband's brother's wedding, so I don't really have a choice to get out of it. AND the bride had us order dresses last September before I was even thinking of having this baby, so I am stuck with a dress I am pretty sure is going to be too small.
You seem to be in a good position, where you can maybe wait to get a dress that is similar to the rest of the parties and wait until after the baby, or get a dress a couple of sizes too big at this point and alter it after. It's always good to have too much fabric than not enough. But if you feel like you won't be emotionally or physically ready for the wedding then I would talk to the bride about it.... Hopefully she would understand.
Well, I am a BM in my friend's wedding 6 weeks after my due date but we already had the dresses ordered way before my BFP. I think even if I am 1 week late, I will be fine. I will not be far from my mom's, who will be sitting, and I will have a pump with me if needed.
Ultimately, it is what you think you will be able to handle.
At that point you will most likely still be bleeding (and cannot wear a tampon), your breasts will still be swollen and maybe leaking (especially if you cry), and you will probably not love the idea of getting into a bridesmaid dress. If you are not a close friend of her's, I would say you should probably let her know that you won't be able to be in her wedding party and save her the trouble that may come if you wait until later. If you're up to it, maybe ask her if there is something different you can help with so she knows you support her.
That's just my 2 cents.
I'm one of those in that same position. It is for my FI brother and both of us including our DD is in the wedding. The wedding will be about 2 months after the baby is born.
Now, if I were in your position and having only at max 4 weeks, I would drop out. I know that if I had an infant at 3-4 weeks old I would not want to leave him/her with a sitter. But then again, that is just me.
I really hope you can figure something out. I'm sure she would understand if you had to get out of it. Good luck!
Honestly, if it was me I would tell her that I could no longer be a part of the wedding party.
I agree with pp that I personally would not be ready yet to leave my little 3-4 week old with a sitter (even if it was parents). Also, are you really going to want to be on your feet for several hours, in heels, spend all that extra money and time getting dolled up....Oh I am exhausted just thinking about it. Weddings are EXHAUSTING!!! If it was my sister or a BFF, I think I would suck it up and make it work, but considering you were surprised to be asked in the first place, I think it is perfectly fine to back out, especially with this much advance notice. Also you never know if you might end up getting a c-section or having some health issues that would make it even harder to attend at the last minute.
It would be nice to offer to do something, like help put the favors together or help plan the seating chart. And if you are feeling up to it, maybe you could attend the ceremony or something, but making an all-day affair out of it sounds like it would be a bit much! That's my 2 (or 3!) cents!
Even if it is an adult only wedding, nursing babies are usually the exception. She'd have to be a total B to not let you bring a 4 week old. Of course, if you don't want them to be around that many people, then that's your choice.
All you HAVE to do as a BM is get a dress and show up to the ceremony to support the union as it takes place. Anything else is extra. If she expects your life, priorities and time availability NOT to change with a baby, and expect you to be unencumbered all day, 1 month post partum, then she's not a very good friend.
I suggest you try to help her out as much as you feel you should before the wedding, and then see how it goes after your delivery.
I just wanted to say: Yay, due date buddy! I am due August 20th with our first LO, too.
As for the wedding, I would be totally honest with her about the fact you aren't sure you are up to it given you have no clue what labor & delivery is like. You aren't sure how your body will cope (beautifully I am sure, but you never know) and you aren't really comfortable leaving the baby for that long (being a bm is like an all day event). At least if you aren't in the wedding you could leave between and go to the reception or leave the reception early. Just be honest and the sooner the better.
there is NO reason a normal, healthy pregnancy can't go to at least 42 weeks with proper monitoring. The average first time mom delivers at 41 weeks 2 days.
OP, I'd probably be honest with her, and I would consider backing out. Especially since you aren't close. There is no way I was ready to leave my baby at 4 weeks (if you deliver on time), and if you're planning to breastfeed, you shouldn't have started bottles yet anyways. I had a c/s with #1, and I was still getting tired pretty quickly a month PP. Not to mention the bleeding, hormones, leaking boobs...