Would you be upset?

MrsEricH

Today is Valentine's Day.  DH is working 2nd shift all week so I surprised him with a really nice dinner out last night (went to Bobby Flay's place at the casino), and just got him a card from me and had DD make a card for him.  I got absolutely nothing.  Now, the dinner was more expensive than we can really afford right now, so I'm not expecting a lot.  But he didn't even get me a card.  Wtf?

 

xDanniellex

Do you normally at least exchange cards?  H and I always give each other cards.  I've gotten more in the past, but this year was just a card.  So yeah, if he couldn't even manage a card I'd be pissed. 

rlscheck

I personally wouldn't be upset.  I got DH a card, along with a card and a $10 gift from DD.  Today we went out for dinner using a gift card.  I didn't get anything.  It doesn't bother me.

Qmommy

Nope.

kaylakaylakayla

I've learned to live my marriage not expecting gifts, but just to see them as what they are..a gift, an extra little something.

I don't want my DH to get me a present because it's the 14th of February. Big whoop, I would rather him just show me how much he loves me every day, not just because it's a holiday. Yes it sucks when I get him something and he doesn't -  but I don't give gifts to get something in return. Turn your expectations down and you'll be a lot more grateful for the gifts you do receive

MrsEricH

We don't go crazy with gifts or anything, but he's gotten me at least SOMETHING in the past, even if it's just a card.  Which is fine.  This year he couldn't even manage that?!  Come on.  It takes approx. 5 minutes at freaking CVS.

mkanderson85

I wouldn't be mad, but we don't do anything for holidays like this.

kaylakaylakayla

MrsEricH:

We don't go crazy with gifts or anything, but he's gotten me at least SOMETHING in the past, even if it's just a card.  Which is fine.  This year he couldn't even manage that?!  Come on.  It takes approx. 5 minutes at freaking CVS.

If it just takes 5 minutes, and is such a simply, easy thing requiring barely any effort - why is it so important to you? I'm not trying to be snarky, just asking. 

I'm sure he's going to say "Happy Valentine's Day - I love you" at some point today, aren't his words just as good as an overcharged pre-written piece of paper from CVS?

MrsEricH

I wouldn't say that I'm mad exactly- just a little annoyed.  And my expectations for receiving gifts really aren't high.  But a card would have been nice. 

claire1983

If there's one thing this marriage is teaching me, it's how incredibly dense men can be. I bet he simply has no idea how much it would mean to you to receive a card so he doesn't bother. My DH is like this too, for his birthday I got hima cute Daddy card, my birthday a week later...nothing. I was so sad, we agreed we weren't exchanging gifts but I was SO looking forward to a Mommy card. I think you should tell him that little things like cards mean a lot to you.

anvloveskme

I would be annoyed, but DH and I are big gift givers...he knows I would at least want a card.  This year, that is all we are doing b/c we owe on our taxes, BOO!

jennygirlmt

I'd like to say I wouldn't be upset, but maybe I would be. DH got me a bag of dove chocolate and a pretty card, perfect. Honestly though, when you go out to dinner that's a joint "gift," so he probably thought that was your celebration. I didn't get DH a card, but DD "made" him a card with finger paints...I don't know, just try to reminisce on your lovely time last night and let it go.

PinkPeony6210

kaylakaylakayla:

I've learned to live my marriage not expecting gifts, but just to see them as what they are..a gift, an extra little something.

I don't want my DH to get me a present because it's the 14th of February. Big whoop, I would rather him just show me how much he loves me every day, not just because it's a holiday. Yes it sucks when I get him something and he doesn't -  but I don't give gifts to get something in return. Turn your expectations down and you'll be a lot more grateful for the gifts you do receive

100% this!

xDanniellex

kaylakaylakayla:

MrsEricH:

We don't go crazy with gifts or anything, but he's gotten me at least SOMETHING in the past, even if it's just a card.  Which is fine.  This year he couldn't even manage that?!  Come on.  It takes approx. 5 minutes at freaking CVS.

If it just takes 5 minutes, and is such a simply, easy thing requiring barely any effort - why is it so important to you? I'm not trying to be snarky, just asking. 

I'm sure he's going to say "Happy Valentine's Day - I love you" at some point today, aren't his words just as good as an overcharged pre-written piece of paper from CVS?

I would say it is important because taking the time to pick out a card shows me that he is really thinking about me.  Saying "I love you" gets to be so standard and automatic when you've been together for awhile, that going that extra bit to show you care can mean a lot.  Especially when they take the time to write a message inside.  Taking that extra time to really put their feelings to paper/card means a lot to mean.

MNgirl326

ErinKD:

kaylakaylakayla:

I've learned to live my marriage not expecting gifts, but just to see them as what they are..a gift, an extra little something.

I don't want my DH to get me a present because it's the 14th of February. Big whoop, I would rather him just show me how much he loves me every day, not just because it's a holiday. Yes it sucks when I get him something and he doesn't -  but I don't give gifts to get something in return. Turn your expectations down and you'll be a lot more grateful for the gifts you do receive

100% this!

 

jackieb3858

I think he should have gotten a card. We don't exchange gifts, but at least a card is nice.

nopegoat

This is one of the reasons that we don't bother with a lot of holidays. We both feel like it was always a contest to see who got the other the most/most expensive... If we get something now, it is for both of us which is nice. 

Sorry your feelings got hurt...  

jamiedsgirl

Do people really find pre-printed mass produced cards to be meaningful?  I've never understood this.  My family is really into cards - I still get Valentine's Day cards from my grandparents.  I think they are a total waste of money and paper.  I don't ever give anyone a card, unless it is holding a gift (like for a wedding).

MWoodside

No.  V-day is no biggie to me.  DH usually gets me flowers & it's thoughtful, but so cliche & unnecessary money spent for something that just dies in a week anyway.

Tippy05

I would be (am) because the same thing happened to me.  We went out to eat on Saturday but the day was a rough because DH had to work and the meal was rushed and we weren't in a good mood to start with.  I got DH a card from me I gave to him in the morning and I hid a card from DS in his lunch bag.  I got nothing.

I wasn't expecting flowers or any presents, but a card, or handwritten sticky note or even a phone call would have been nice.  A quick, "Hi, I love you and I'm thinking about you" phone call.  Not that he isn't romantic but we just get so caught up in everyday life that I feel like sometimes (often times) the little stuff that I appreciate so much gets overlooked and forgotten about.  You're right, it's 5 minutes and $5 at CVS - how hard is that?

I totally understand what you mean and how you feel. But, whatever... the day is over now.  Back to the grind...

Dochas

jamiedsgirl:

Do people really find pre-printed mass produced cards to be meaningful?  I've never understood this.  My family is really into cards - I still get Valentine's Day cards from my grandparents.  I think they are a total waste of money and paper.  I don't ever give anyone a card, unless it is holding a gift (like for a wedding).

We are always able to find a pre-printed mass produced card that either has a picture or words that capture something we've done or how we feel.  And my husband always writes something beautiful in it.  We've stopped giving cards unless it's an occasion  because they are expensive.

To the OP - I would be upset.  But I love to get a nice card and my DH knows.  Does your husband know?  

vcusano

MrsEricH:

We don't go crazy with gifts or anything, but he's gotten me at least SOMETHING in the past, even if it's just a card.  Which is fine.  This year he couldn't even manage that?!  Come on.  It takes approx. 5 minutes at freaking CVS.

 I'd be really upset.  DH and I never go a holiday without getting eachother at least a card.  If he couldn't get a card for some reason then he has always gotten at least a single rose or something to acknowlege the holiday.  I'm sorry he didn't do anything for you, it would bother me too