How do you feel about sharing advice with others?

oct11bride03

My post below got me thinking about how comfortable I am talking to my mom friends about how they're raising their kids. I don't mean things like discipline, but more along the lines of ERF or bulky winters coats.

I'm pretty good friends with one of the daycare moms in K's room and we usually end up walking out together most nights. She puts her daughter in a bulky winter coat and a few times I've wanted to say something but chickened out. I don't want to be a preachy, I-know-what's-best mom, but I figure she doesn't know and might welcome the info.

I guess it would be easier to bring up if she asked me why I only put K in a fleece jacket, but since she doesn't I don't know how to bring it up.

Thoughts? If you've shared unsolicited advice with other moms, how do you bring it up?

MrsKolasa

Unless it's something huuuuuuge, I generally just keep it to myself. Mostly because I think that they know their kids better than I do and they most likely have a reason for doing what they do.

There are definitely times when it's hard to bite my tongue.

artygirl

I don't give advice unless someone asks me for it.  The only exception might be my sister.

LucyPevensie

She probably is thinking "should I ask her why she doesn't have a proper winter coat for her child?  Hmm .. no .. I don't want to be rude.." LOL!

You know I put something on my FB page recently about the bulky winter coat being a no-no in carseats - and I actually had someone respond that it was propaganda/BS/blah blah - and that being in a bulky winter coat in a carseat saved her daughter's life when they got T-boned in their car.  Her reasoning being that between being stuffed in the coat and stuffed in the carseat with straps pulled tightly - her daughter couldn't move and thereby was not thrown about at all during the crash.

So in this instance - I wasn't saying anything "directly" to anybody - was just posting some info and a related youtube video - and yet still - another mom got offended. 

People tend to only like advice they ask for.  And even then, still probably ignore it most of the time.  You MAY find the exception where a mom says "wow, I didn't know that what I was doing was dangerous, thank you so much for pointing it out!" but .. it's not likely.  More likely you'll come across as a know-it-all busybody. 

If her daughter's carseat is installed properly (although 8 out of 10 are installed IMproperly..) but assuming it's in there correctly - and if she's pulling the straps tightly and positioning them correctly - her kid is probably pretty safe.  I understand your  heart is in the right place.  But most people don't like unsolicited advice.  Especially us moms!  We're a testy bunch when it comes to our parenting practices! 

oct11bride03

Yeah...I won't be saying anything.