Today Show - IVF Mix Up

amanda31H

Since this has come up often on here....

I remember seeing a year ago the story of a couple that had an IVF mixup and they were carrying another couple's child.  Also, for whatever medical reason, the woman carrying the child was told she couldn't be pregnant again.

They're back on the Today Show this morning because they wrote a book about it. I just can't imagine how difficult it would be to give that baby to the other couple. 

Also they mentioned they are practicing Catholics.  And they said that the Catholic church's stance on IVF is "immoral."  I'm floored.  On what basis?  My mother's side of the family are all former catholics and I've never heard of this.  I can't imagine going through the heartbreak of infertility and being called immoral by my church.

MADforever2009

eeekkk, thats when you leave the church...

im just sayin...

OrangeSmoke

Since you are close by... why don't you come on over and my MIL can "educate" you on why IVF is immoral.    I'm not a catholic, but I think it has something to do with "conception outside of the body" and "playing God".

We've never had the heart nor the stamina to tell her how her grandbabies were conceived (thank GOD she never asked). 

devinjonesrn

I'm Catholic, and you're right...it has to do with separating the creation of life from the "act of marriage" ie sex.  

However the church also teaches that ALL children, no matter how they were conceived, are gifts from and were planned by, God...wrap your brain around those two teachings!

amanda31H

OrangeSmoke:

Since you are close by... why don't you come on over and my MIL can "educate" you on why IVF is immoral.    I'm not a catholic, but I think it has something to do with "conception outside of the body" and "playing God".

We've never had the heart nor the stamina to tell her how her grandbabies were conceived (thank GOD she never asked). 

Wow.  Just by your siggy I can tell that it was a long and painful journey to get pregnant.  I can't imagine being in the same position and having to keep DH's mother in the dark.

Thanks for the brief "education."    What a load of BS

joliemariée

FWIW, my uncle is a Catholic priest and he totally disagrees with that official stance and thinks IVF a wonderful thing ( he doesn't know, but surely suspects our twins are IVF babies)  and my entire family is super-Catholic and they all condone it and think it is a great thing too.   Too bad Rome can't move into the 21st century.

Re: OP, I can't imagine the torture of going through a whole PG knowing it is not your baby and you can't conceive again. awful. They also said they used IVF for the rest of their embryo's with a surrogate and she miscarried.

caden

Like a p.p. said, they view marital sex as the only appropriate way to "create" babies. Obviously I disagree, but I respect the Catholic church's belief b/c they're consistent. I don't think people need to believe exactly what their church teaches in order to feel comfortable attending. I remember when I was on the IF board, some people asked their priests for guidance and were told IVF was fine. So even priests aren't lining up 100% with what the Vatican says.

I've never understood the "playing God" argument and I never will. I'm a Christian and I don't think IVF "creates" life. Embryologists can unite a sperm with an egg but they can't force it to fertilize. (If they could I'd have had way more embryos than I did!) They can transfer embryos but they can't force them to implant. So it's still in God's hands, IMO. Sorry to get all preachy! Someone once told me I was trying to "play God" and I've never forgotten how sh!tty that comment was so I feel the need to get soapboxy about it every time I see it mentioned!

tmbuchmann

caden:

Like a p.p. said, they view marital sex as the only appropriate way to "create" babies. Obviously I disagree, but I respect the Catholic church's belief b/c they're consistent. I don't think people need to believe exactly what their church teaches in order to feel comfortable attending. I remember when I was on the IF board, some people asked their priests for guidance and were told IVF was fine. So even priests aren't lining up 100% with what the Vatican says.

I've never understood the "playing God" argument and I never will. I'm a Christian and I don't think IVF "creates" life. Embryologists can unite a sperm with an egg but they can't force it to fertilize. (If they could I'd have had way more embryos than I did!) They can transfer embryos but they can't force them to implant. So it's still in God's hands, IMO. Sorry to get all preachy! Someone once told me I was trying to "play God" and I've never forgotten how sh!tty that comment was so I feel the need to get soapboxy about it every time I see it mentioned!

I could never imagine saying that to someone, for goodness sakes, this is a life we are talking about. Makes me so sad that people want to take away the right for another person to be a parent.

veronicacorningstone

I'm Catholic, but there are certainly things I don't agree with when it comes to the church's official stance on things.  That's probably also why we now go to a non-denominational church.  

As for an  IVF mixup, that would devastate me to no end. Sometimes that thought creeps into my mind, but one boy looks like me and the other looks like DH, so I think we are ok.

hunt2005

Even with doing IUI I was paranoid that morning that the sperm vials got mixed up somehow. Especially since his numbers were SOO much better than on previous SA tests. I can't imagine finding out that the baby you're carrying is not only not yours, but that you have to give it up to the family it belongs to.

 For the religious aspect, I really enjoyed the time I was asked by a mom (obviously a religious family, she had 6 children close in ages, wearing modest clothing, etc etc) if the were "from God." I said yes and initially felt guilty because I knew she meant if they were "natural," but I feel that the answer is yes no matter what. A doctor could implant a fully grown fetus and that doesn't mean it would survive, so something has to happen thanks to Him for it to grow and mature and come out healthy, ya know?

amanda31H

hunt2005:

Even with doing IUI I was paranoid that morning that the sperm vials got mixed up somehow. Especially since his numbers were SOO much better than on previous SA tests. I can't imagine finding out that the baby you're carrying is not only not yours, but that you have to give it up to the family it belongs to.

 For the religious aspect, I really enjoyed the time I was asked by a mom (obviously a religious family, she had 6 children close in ages, wearing modest clothing, etc etc) if the were "from God." I said yes and initially felt guilty because I knew she meant if they were "natural," but I feel that the answer is yes no matter what. A doctor could implant a fully grown fetus and that doesn't mean it would survive, so something has to happen thanks to Him for it to grow and mature and come out healthy, ya know?

I'm a Christian and what that woman said to you just made me nauseous. 

I totally agree with you.  I feel very ignorant now for not knowing some religious sects have problems with IVF.  It's just never something that would have crossed my mind.