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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
FemmeNat01
member
A's Birth Story [Ridiculously long]
FemmeNat01
member
I finally feel like I should post this. I wrote it a bit ago but I wasn't ready to post it yet.
I found out I was pregnant on August 3, 2011. I was 100% feeling every emotion and feeling that a person could feel. My twins were not even 5 months at that point. I was in serious denial. I knew that it was coming because we made a mistake but, still, it was shocking. And I was terrified because of the issues I had with the twins. I was on vacation in Russia when I found out. I ended up going back to Spain and seeing a doctor (my aunt?s OB) there so we could just get me checked out since I wouldn?t be back in Toronto until I was at least 11 weeks and with how high-risk I was going to be, I didn?t want to take that chance. I saw the OB, she dated my pregnancy, and everything looked good. I was due March 30, 2011. Which was 13 days after the twins? 1st birthday. Oh, boy.
Finally, when I was back in Toronto, I went and saw my OB at almost 12 weeks pregnant. She was shocked, to say the least. She didn?t expect that I would ever come back to her pregnant (I was adamant that I didn?t want any more kids) and she knew this was going to be a high-risk pregnancy too. We discussed everything. We talked about preeclampsia, my c-section, my high blood pressure, and we discussed the approach we would take. We were going to be very diligent to avoid or prevent anything from going wrong. We tried...it just didn?t work.
My first issue with this pregnancy was hyperemesis gravidarum. I started throwing up at around 6 weeks and I didn?t stop my whole pregnancy. I had HG with the twins as well but this time, it was SO severe. I lost 20 pounds, which was 19% of my body weight. It was SO bad. I ended up in the hospital so many times for dehydration and so they could get an IV in me. I was so dehydrated sometimes that it took them forever to get an IV in my veins. It was terrible. I had days where I would just lay in the bathroom on the ground and pray that I would die. HG is one of the worst things in the world...and so unrecognizable. Everyone always says, ?Oh, morning sickness?? No, it?s not morning sickness. Morning sickness goes away. Morning sickness doesn?t debilitate your life. I couldn?t eat anything. Finally, they decided to try the Zofran pump since nothing else would work. If that didn?t work, they would have had to give me a PICC line. Thankfully, the Zofran pump helped a ton. I still threw up multiple times a day but it was better, much better, than before. I could survive life and, slowly, I got back my appetite. I was tired of my veins hurting, I was overwhelmed with all the meds I had to take, but I was dealing with it. Or trying too.
My blood pressure started to climb around 20 weeks, once again. My OB told me to stop stressing, relax, and stop working myself so hard (I was working nearly 60 hours a week). At 23 weeks (Dec 3), she put me on semi-BR. I had to stay off my feet when I could, do a lot of relaxing, and cut down my work hours. The fact that my BP was climbing was not good at all. On December 16 (25 weeks), she put me on modified BR. I listened and I relaxed. I got her approval to enjoy Christmas and after that, I would probably have to go on full BR. So, I enjoyed Christmas...a bit too much. I definitely overdid myself. I know it. I felt it and I didn?t listen to my body. I wish I did.
On December 26 (26 weeks), I realized I was in labour. I had contractions all Christmas evening but I didn?t realize they were contractions at first. They got stronger the morning of December 26 and it finally clicked to me, what was going on. I had never had contractions or labour with the twins so this was all new to me. Nate and I went straight to the hospital after calling my OB. I was in preterm labour with contractions that were making me dilate. None of that was good because I was scheduled to have a c-section and labour could irritate my uterus since I had my last c-section 9 months before. They started me on magnesium and terbutaline. They ran a whole series of tests on me while I was there. When my OB got back my 24-hour urine catch, she was shocked. My protein levels were so high coupled with my extremely high blood pressure. I had severe preeclampsia. But, I was only 26 weeks and 5 days pregnant. There was NO way that my baby was ready to be born.
I stayed in the hospital for 13 days on strict hospital BR. They got my contractions to stop. They got my BP a bit lower and under control with a whole lot of medication. Being there in the hospital was really hard on me and we all agreed that it would be better if I was home. I managed to last at home for 2 weeks and my BP was under control, protein levels stable, and contractions were inconsistent. Plus, I was finally gaining weight after struggling to gain weight my whole pregnancy.
Then, everything went downhill. It happened so quickly.
On January 22, in the early hours of the morning as I was going to bed, I got a contraction. At the time, I thought it was random and I made a joke out of it. I went to bed, or tried, but I kept waking up because of a contraction or a back pain or something. I finally realized that we needed to go to the hospital and sometime in the evening, I called my OB and headed to the hospital. They hooked me up and I was in PTL...AGAIN. My contractions weren?t affecting my cervix but they were painful and close. They ran their series of tests and in the short period of time from Thursday to that Saturday evening, my BP had gone up and my protein levels were so high. I was back in the hospital indefinitely from that point. They put me on a ton of meds hoping it would help. Our goal was to make it to 36 weeks, or even, 34-35 weeks would have been good. I had insane migraines; they were painful and I knew they were from my BP being so high.
It gets hard to tell my story from here.
On Tuesday, January 25, my world changed.
I realized I was bleeding in the morning and it was a lot of blood. Too much blood to be normal. My doctors think it could have been pooling and then, something shifted and it all came out. Who really knows? My headaches were so bad at that point that I was throwing up and my vision was spotty, at best. I had severe pain in my abdomen and severe pain in my right side area. They did an ultrasound and it showed that my liver was so swollen. They did a full CBC and the results were so bad. My platelet counts were dangerously low, my liver enzymes were elevated, and my red blood cells were being destroyed even quicker than normal. I had a complete placental abruption from my preeclampsia and my severe preeclampsia had progressed to HELLP.
It was a terrifying diagnosis. I mean, I was as prepared as I could be for pre-e but HELLP? A placental abruption? Nothing could have prepared me for any of that.
It was too dangerous for me to continue to be pregnant and my baby wasn?t getting the oxygen and nutrients needed from my placenta since it had detached. They scheduled my c-section for the morning and told me to get some rest. Yeah, right, rest. I tried to sleep. I tried to close my eyes but every time I did, I pictured a worst-case scenario. My baby was only 31 weeks. A baby that small was not ready for the real world. Not ready to live in this world. They had done an amnio on the lungs and it looked like it was mature enough (thanks to the steroids) so that was a positive but 31 weeks is not adequate enough.
Around 3ish in the morning, my BP spiked to 200/120 and the baby went into distress. The baby?s heart rate had dropped so low that the monitor couldn?t pick it up and when it did, it was so low that it was concerning. They got me prepped for an emergency c-section and they had to put me under general anaesthesia because they didn?t have time for a spinal. [Nate filled in this part for me] They got to working immediately and very quickly. On January 26, 2011 at 3:26 AM, a little girl was born weighing 2lbs 10oz and 15.25in long. She wasn?t breathing when they took her out and they had to work on her to get her to breathe again. Finally, they did and they carted her off the NICU.
When I woke up after the anaesthetic wore off, I didn?t know whether my baby was alive, what my baby was, or what had happened. They told me it was a girl and Nate filled me in on the details. She was in the NICU, beautiful but tiny, and she was a fighter. I had a cold, since the Thursday before I ended up in the hospital, so I knew there was no chance of me seeing/holding her. I was really sick, nauseous, throwing up, dizzy, weak, and sore. I was bleeding so heavily that they couldn?t keep up with me. Sometime in the afternoon (things are VERY blurry for me, even now), I got wheeled to the NICU and I got to see my little girl through a glass. Even though it was so inopportune, I could tell she was beautiful and perfect. I got back to my room, went to get back into bed, and passed out. They couldn?t put enough blood back in my body to counter the amounts of blood that I was haemorrhaging. Plus, I am so severely anaemic that all this blood loss was exacerbating the situation. My blood pressure was so high that it was hard to do anything and I kept throwing up because of the headaches from the high BP. They were very concerned about this because, normally, the amounts of blood loss that I was suffering would have dropped my BP deathly low and that was not happening.
I got transfusion after transfusion of blood, platelets, and plasma. I kept bleeding and bleeding. It was scary. They were worried that with the significant amounts of blood loss that I had, DIC would develop, which was fatal for many cases. They couldn?t control my BP (it was still 190/100). So, as I laid there in bed, practically dying, I wrote a letter for my little girl. For the little girl, that I named, Alessandra Catherine Amalia. I have letters to Lucas, Elena, Nate, my parents (both sets), my siblings, my in-laws, and my best friends. I?ve been living with the very real reality and possibility that I could die so I?ve covered my bases. I didn?t have a letter for her as yet but it broke my heart to know that if I did die, she wouldn?t have a letter. So, with all the energy I could find, I grabbed a pen and paper and began writing. It was so hard to do because the only thing I had energy for was to throw up so this was hard for me. But, I did it. I wrote her that letter and I poured my heart into it. But, it broke my heart while I did it.
As I haemorrhaged and tried to face the real possibility that I might not make it through this, all I could think about was that I?d never get to see or hold or kiss my Lucas and my Elena ever again, that I would never get to meet my Alessandra, that I would leave the love of my life, my husband and my world, with 3 kids to raise. I thought about how Nate would be able to do this with his demanding work and how my kids would be raised without their mother. I thought about my parents, who have devoted their lives to me, my in-laws who have taken me in as a daughter and have loved me like that ever since I met them. I thought about my friends and how much I would miss from their lives. I thought about my sister and my brother whom I love and I can?t imagine not being there for them. My heart shattered as I cried countless tears because I wasn?t ready to go and I was trying to fight but it was hard and it wasn?t working. I was getting really tired and weak from the situation.
My doctors discussed a hysterectomy because they couldn?t keep giving me transfusions without elevating the risk of DIC. Finally, by some miracle, by a guardian angel, for some reason, I stopped haemorrhaging. Finally. I was SO relieved. The day after, I started to feel better. I started to get some of my energy back and I actually got to eat for the first time in nearly 1 week. Slowly and slowly, I got back to myself. On the Monday, I got to see the twins and I was ecstatic. And, finally, I got to go meet and hold Alessandra. It was love at first sight. 
Alessandra was born 9 weeks early so she?s in the NICU with a journey ahead of her. I cannot wait for the day that I get to bring her home and I?ll celebrate the day it happens.
I know this is a ridiculously long birth story (with pregnancy background info and post-birth info) but everything was needed to tell the story. It was traumatizing, scary, terrifying, and hard but when I look at my little girl, it was worth it. Of course, a part of me will always and forever WISH with all my heart that I could have had an easy pregnancy, that I could have stayed pregnant a while longer, or that I didn?t have so many issues after birth. But, it is what it is and we?re both alive, thank God.
I'm 17 days postpartum and I still feel the complications from my pregnancy and birth. My life has not gone back to normal and it will not until Alessa comes home. And until I heal and I'm healthy again. But, even through all of this, every single time I look at my beautiful little girl, I would do anything for her.
So, there is my SUPER long birth story. Seriously, it was like 4 pages on word. I don't know if anyone wants too or will finish reading this; so, if you're reading this line RIGHT now, you're amazing! Congrats! 
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Re: A's Birth Story [Ridiculously long]
Thanks for sharing!! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!!
Oh my goodness Nat, you're amazing. I love you
I hope you have your whole family together an healthy very soon!
Thank you so much for posting this. You did an amazing job with both of your pregnancies. I hope people tell you that often. You have three beautiful children and you should be proud of yourself. Anyone who has gone through HG and high-risk pregnancy is a hero in my book. Thinking of you and you're entire family and sending you the best.
This made me cry and cry. I've been praying for you and will continue to pray for you and your family.
I'm so glad that things are getting better and I hope that you will update us with the wonderful news that your precious daughter is at home!
First of all, congratulations! Baby A sounds like a fighter (just like her mama).
Thank you for sharing your birth story. Mine is similar but it did not get as bad as yours. Please know that there are women on the board that know how you feel. Stay strong and keep yourself going. It will take a long time for YOU to actually recover from a traumatic experience like that. I've had to come to terms with the sense of "grief" I have because of such a crazy pregnancy and birth. It gets easier and let that precious little girl keep your spirits up. I wish you and your family the best.
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You are such a strong, strong woman, Nat.
I will be praying for you and your beautiful baby girl.
::hugs::
I needed 3 tissues to get through this. My heart breaks for everything that you've been through, but I'm so glad that everything turned out okay! I know you're in for a long-ish NICU stay, but she will go home with you eventually. You know that. And I'm so glad they at least got you to 31w!
BFP(4) DD2 born 2.14.13 @ 35w5d due to pPROM
Thank you so much for sharing your story Nat. You are an amazing woman!
I hope A gets to come home soon!
GREAT birth story. Seriously, it kept my attention!
COngrats to you for all you've been through and for a prescious DD.
M/C Dec 2010 - 5w5d Missing my sweet angel baby.
Wow. I can not imagine how traumatizing and scary that was for you, but you and your little A are clearly fighters. I'm glad that you are recovering and starting to feel better, and that A is doing well.
Thank you for sharing.
That made me choke up, especially you thinking that you wouldn't make it and writing that letter. I hope you heal up well, and that you have a long, long, healthy life with all your babies and your DH and family, with never another moment like that one.
Best of luck and health to you and little A, and I hope she grows big and strong and comes home soon.
DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010
OMG Nat, your story made me cry! I went through something similar in terms of the placental abruption and severe hemorrhaging with emergency c-section (and giving birth to a 30 weeker), but I cannot even imagine dealing with all of that and pre-e and HEELP at the same time.
The 9 weeks Corri spent in the NICU were the hardest of my entire life; it was quite a journey, but the end result was worth every second of it. I am keeping you, your fam and baby A in my T's & P's, and wishing you a speedy and uneventful NICU stay.
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What a moving story! I'm in tears as well over here. You sound like an amazing woman and I hope your family is home together soon.
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