Success after IF

Would/do you talk to you toddler before blood tests?

Cal's having labs done tomorrow for further testing to determine which clotting disorder he (likely) has.  At the last one, 3 weeks ago, he did fine - a little apprehensive, but no tears in spite of the fact that it took the tech numerous tries to get the needle in.  He also had one done about 2.5 months ago (there were tears at that one), and one at 1 year old (tears).  We have never talked to him about them.  But he's so cognitive lately and we explain everything else to him, I wonder if we should, especially given that he may have to have this done on a regular basis?  On the other hand, I don't want to confuse him, and he's done okay so far without any discussion beforehand.

What do you think?  Would you talk to him about it?  If so, what would you say?

Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!

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Re: Would/do you talk to you toddler before blood tests?

  • I'd do a little casual play therapy - grab the teddy bear and talk it out quick, "little pinch" to get some of your blood, so the doctors can look at it.   Let him pinch you, or get a cheapie doctor kit (Ava LOVES hers, esp giving us shots, lol) and just say "it's quick, then we'll go have some fun!"

    With all my IVF stuff going on, ET's, ER's, belly issues, new pregnancies, etc. I didn't want to LIE to my kid, but I didn't want her to think I was sick and dying. So we simply said "momma has a sore tummy, or quick doc appt."  Well, she ended up really fixating on that, and kinda ended up worrying more about said sore tummy than a 2 yr old needed to. So NOW, any future health issues are going to get the blanket fib of "momma's tired" or "momma's gotta go to work for a little bit" instead of a doctor's visit.  I'm coming to realize that as much as I'm about "full disclosure" and breaking it down for a kid, I have to remind myself they don't need very much information, nor can process it.

    So simple. quick. matter of fact and move on.  that's my 2 cents.

     

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  • I'd probably lean towards following the same routine as last time, if that worked for you.  Audrey has terrible anxiety about the doctor.  She recognizes when we pull in the parking lot and the fit starts in the car.  So, I'm interested to see if you find a way to help him be stress free on those days.
    After THREE years, our IVF miracle is here!!!
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  • imageDavezWife:

    I'd do a little casual play therapy - grab the teddy bear and talk it out quick, "little pinch" to get some of your blood, so the doctors can look at it.   Let him pinch you, or get a cheapie doctor kit (Ava LOVES hers, esp giving us shots, lol) and just say "it's quick, then we'll go have some fun!"

    So simple. quick. matter of fact and move on.  that's my 2 cents.

     

    Cool...thanks, Davez.  I appreciate that.

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

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  • imageMagoy:
    I'd probably lean towards following the same routine as last time, if that worked for you.  Audrey has terrible anxiety about the doctor.  She recognizes when we pull in the parking lot and the fit starts in the car.  So, I'm interested to see if you find a way to help him be stress free on those days.

    Interesting.  Cal's totally chill about drs, which is part of the reason we haven't said anything...don't want to ruin a good thing, you know?  On the other hand, since it's only been 3 weeks since the last blood draw, he might start catching on, and it may require explanation.  I'm torn.  Maybe we'll just feel it out?

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have always told the boys that we need to go get a poke and a bandaid.  When we are there I tell them that after they get their sticker we will go get a smoothy.  My boys sit in the stroller and tell me "my turn next".
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  • imageJustaKidAtHeart:
    I have always told the boys that we need to go get a poke and a bandaid.  When we are there I tell them that after they get their sticker we will go get a smoothy.  My boys sit in the stroller and tell me "my turn next".

    Cute. :)

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • With my kids I've tended to keep it simple and I just say "doctors and nurses are here to help us, not hurt us, so even if it hurts a little bit they are helping you."

    My son has gotten a bit better about needles since he's seen me doing daily Lovenox shots. 

    Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12

    Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck.  Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.

    This Cluttered Life

  • I historically have but, not until very shortly before (like in the waiting room).  Don't want to leave too much time for worries.
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