May 2011 Moms

MIL/Mom having a nursery at their home?

CRAP!  I posted this in 2nd tri by mistake. It's the second time I have done that :(  I'll repost here, where I mean to in the first place :)

 

Mom/MIL having a full nursery?

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Is anyone elses mom/MIL doing a full nursery at their home?

My MIL is an insane psycho who is obsessed with her first grandchild.  She is doing a full-on Winnie the Pooh themed nursery. She is having FIL move the upstairs office to the basement for this.  I kind of thought it was a little over the top when FIL told me she purchased a monitor.

Just wondering if anyone elses family is doing the same.

I 'get it' for parent's who will be babysitting, etc.. but for us, we live 5 minutes from them, baby won't be sleeping over, we will be going home. And even if he was going to sleep over.. a PNP would be fine.

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Re: MIL/Mom having a nursery at their home?

  • Both my mom and MIL have rooms set up for the kids at their homes. I don't understand MIL having one since we only visit every few months and a PNP is fine but my mom turned my old room into a nursery/kids room when my niece was born b/c my sister lived with them for a few years, she kept it as a kids room and put the crib back up when DD was born and will do the same this time, it makes sense b/c I'm at her house at least 1-2 times a week and we live 45 minutes away so DD will nap there and spend the night.
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  • My mom was originally planning on doing this, she also lives only 10-15 minutes away from us.

    I think i've talked her down to just using our pack n play when she baby sits.

    My mom is retired, and after my dad passed away 6 years ago has had a lot of trouble learning to be an independent person.  Now that she has her first and only grandchild on the way she's got this vision in her head of spending all her time with the baby.

    I'm not looking forward to what happens after the baby is born, it's been crazy just keeping her under control during the pregnancy. 

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  • My MIL is turning her back room into a "nursery." I quote "nursery" because all of the things she has gathered so far are used and not up to safety standards (i.e, a drop-side crib with plastic hardware, recalled toys, toys like marbles that are so small a baby would choke on them). I guess she thinks all of this is grand and appropriate because her kids slept on the floor as babies. She's completely delusional if she thinks my baby will ever be staying with her, much less visiting, because she smokes in her house, and has drug & alcohol problems. Oh yeah, and because I hate her.

    My parents are wonderful. They live 5 hours away, so they are not making a baby room, but I know that whenever we come to visit the house will be baby-proofed, and we can bring our PNP or cosleeper with us.

  • Omg we could be SILs! My MIL is doing the exact same thing!

    I straight up told her not to waste her money on a crib, she wont use it. My lil princess is staying with me thank you very much. Even if she should stay the night, which will be A LONG TIME AWAY, we have a PNP for that. She irks me... Badly..

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  • No. The only thing my mom did was get herself a pack n play for DS that she could put up and take down as needed. She also has a toddler bed that she keeps in her spare bedroom next to the quest bed for when we come to visit since DS is now too big for the PNP. Other then having a few spare things like bottles or diapers and the like she hasn't gone over board. It helps me since we live three hours apart not to have to pack all of that when I come up to visit or send DS up for visits. I have never understood Grandparents that do the full nursery myself. Even if they are babysitting most I know just put up a crib or PNP in a spare room not a full nursery. But hey I guess be glad that MIL is all excited. We live with my in-laws and MIL barely acknowledges our son at all.
  • SMIL already has a full nursery set up; even has high chair, bouncy seat, swing, convertible crib, and tons of baby and toddler toys. She did all this when SSIL had her baby last year. He has stayed twice I think. I've already told SMIL & FIL they are more than welcome to keep LO when ever they want.

    My parents havent, yet. They will once their house is built; they little house they live in now, they'll just use a p-n-p. They plan on keeping LO on weekends, which is fine with me.

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  • My mom isnt going that far but they are rearranging something. They are switching the guest room and office cause the office is bigger and she is buying a 3 in 1 crib to go in the guest bedroom for when we come to stay. Of course we live 5 hours away so i think it is understandable for her to be doing this. As for the in laws they are both retired so they will be coming to visit at our home more often then we will be driving 12 hours to visit at theirs.
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  • MIL already watches her other 2 grandkids (4, and 10 months) during the day, so there are safe places to sleep, toys, play gyms, etc.  My Mom lives in TX and got ahold of a hand me down crib that she liked and has that set up in the back bedroom. Nothing too fancy, and NO WAY would she create a themed room for them.... way over the top. 
  • My mom has a room completely dedicated to DS (and soon to be DD).  My MIL also had a room designated for the kids.  Both rooms have all the toys, toddler beds/cribs, wall decorations for kids, etc.  My mom lives 20 minutes or so away and my MIL lives four hours. I am fine with it... DS has a place he knows that is his when he goes there and my kids will always spend time (and the night) at their grandparents house frequently.  I started leaving DS overnight about once a month at one month old.  

    I think it is fine for grandparents to get excited. Even if you don't plan on leaving them over there all the time, just let them do what they want... I find it is easier to let things like this go than argue/try to talk them down.  I have friends who's parents really did not even care about their LO's being born and don't even know what a pack n play is, so I always try to remember that if I think my mom is being overbearing or too excited.

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  • My MIL recently set up a nursery at their home.  We live four hours away, but her other grandchildren (my nieces) live nearby and she wanted to have a room where the babies could take naps and where my SILs could nurse when they came over to visit.  I think it's actually been helpful for my SILs!  She didn't spend a lot of money on it, but she's got a crib, rocking chair, and dresser with changing pad.  There's also a bed in there, so DH and I will probably stay in there when we visit them; it'll be nice to have the room!  The whole family is really close, so I didn't feel like she was forcing herself on her sons' families so much as she was trying to provide a room for her DILs to use with their daughters.
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  • My MIL has a mini crib set up in a guest room at her home.  My son has never slept in it and now he's way too big for it.  I thought it was odd that she did it in the first place, but whatevs.

    I think I would be a little weirded out by a full nursery at my mother's home or my ILs home unless they were planning to babysit full-time or even a few days per week.

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  • I could definitely understand grandparents having a kids room if they had a few grandchildren that came over all the time, but other than that, it doesnt make much sense to me, unless they will be caring for the baby quite often. 

    My mom was telling me she planned on getting a pack and play (which I can understand) and a car seat and all this stuff. I told her not to waste her money. She thinks that I will be going back to work and would drive an hour out of my way to drop the baby off for her to babysit. I'm going to be a SAHM, so I definitely wont be doing this. She also thinks that we are going to want to go out all the time after the baby and leave her with my parents (who go out for drinks or to the casino 3-4 times a week til 2 in the morning) I was just straight with her and told her that wasnt going to happen. 

    My MIL is a whole different story. She is convinced that I am going to stay at her house for a few months after the baby because someone has to take care of me. Ive told her quite a few times that my husband will be taking care of me at our house where we will have all of the baby's stuff, but she doesn't listen. Their house makes me uncomfortable as is, plus all they cook at their house is seafood (which I cant eat), so I dont understand why she would think I would stay there. 

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  • i am pretty sure my mother pulled out my old crib (...even though its atleast 23 yrs old and i told her i would never use it, so that the baby could sleep there when we come to visit but i know she wouldn't go as far as creating an entire nursery. i wouldn't put it past my MIL to do something like this though since she is trying to live vicariously through me. Everytime she calls she asks me "how is my little girl?" mind you, we have no idea the gender of the baby and clearly, it's not hers but I guess thats one of those things you just have to smile and nod through when it comes to parents.
  • I would find it odd for my MIL (or mother) to do that, but I wouldn't find it psycho. I'm expecting them to mind their own business in regards to what we choose to do with this birth so it's only fair that I do the same.

    Now, situations where a grandmother-to-be is demanding sleepovers and even more extended visits, especially without the parents, are completely unreasonable to me. But going decor-crazy isn't automatically a sign of that.

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  • My mom is recently retired and lives near my office. I will only get a 6-8 week maternity leave, and she has very generously offered to watch LO 3 days a week.  I bought her a Graco Lauren crib and changing table, and will give her any useful shower duplicates if they come up. She won't have a dedicated nursery, but the crib and changing table get a wall in a guest bedroom.

    I figure if I get free childcare, the least I can do it make it as easy as possible on LO and my mom by outfitting her with some supplies.

    image

    Caitlin 4.17.11     Madeline 10.20.13

     
  • My mom will probably just borrow our PNP when she watches LO. We only live 5 minutes away, so there is no real need for her to have a nursery. My mom did joke that she was going to make a nursery out of my old bedroom, but I know that isn't going to happen. FIL and his new wife haven't even babysat their 10 month old grandson, so I don't see them making a nursery in their home. If they do watch our LO, we will just bring over the PNP.
    DD1: May 2011
    DD2: February 2014

  • I think it depends on the situation, but to me it sounds a little creepy that she is going full out with a decorated nursery.  My parents live 3000 miles away, so we visit them for a week at a time and they have a pack n play and an infant tub (DS is their 6th grandchild and they never set up a nursery).   My in-laws live 40 minutes away and just have a pack n play (DS is also their 6th grandchild).

    I totally don't know the situation, or your MIL, but it totally seems like she is trying to get attention, or she is REALLY bored.

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  • My MIL has a crib and some baby stuff at her house that she bought when my SIL was pregnant.  She also bought a carseat off of ebay that she is so thrilled about.  Well, my kid won't be using the crib nor the carseat.  We will bring a pack n play for her.  My mom is planning on buying a pack n play for her house because she wants one.  Fine by me.  Both grandparents live between 15-20 minutes away anyway.
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  • My MIL is going to have a nursery at their house I guess, which I don't really understand but I do at the same time. She and FIL will be watching the baby a lot when I go back to work so it's fine with me but I reallllly don't plan on leaving him there overnight so the fact that they want to get their own crib is sort of strange but I guess it's fine since she would be buying it anyway. They can do whatever they want I guess (except NO winnie the pooh lol) even though we live less than 5 minutes away from them.

    My own mom won't make a nursery for him but she lives almost an hour away so she won't see him as much as MIL will. That bums her out but hey she was the one who decided to move, not me! She was a nanny for years until the kids all grew up and none of them had a nursery, they just had a pack and play and then when they got older they slept in a bed in the extra bedroom. I assume this is what my mom will be doing as its been brought up a few times before.

  • imagePythia1022:

    She's completely delusional if she thinks my baby will ever be staying with her, much less visiting, because she smokes in her house, and has drug & alcohol problems. Oh yeah, and because I hate her.


     

    Ah yes. The joys of hating crazy crazy people. 

  • I'm weird, but I think I would actually like this.  Yes, the theme is a little over the top, but it's nice that she wants your LO to come over and play.  My mom lives on the other side of the country, but if she did live here I bet she'd be doing the same thing.  I'm not sure if she'd go all-the-way and do a nursery, but my LO would def have his own room (even if she had to eliminate the guest room), his own toys, and I could even see her having different clothes there for him.  

    I am not Ultra Mom and I have no desire to be, but my mom is an ultra grandma.  I would love to send the baby to sleep over at her house once a week or so - after the initial breast feeding and stuff was over.  Having his own room would make that so easy. 

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