CRAP! I posted this in 2nd tri by mistake. It's the second time I have done that I'll repost here, where I mean to in the first place
Is anyone elses mom/MIL doing a full nursery at their home?
My MIL is an insane psycho who is obsessed with her first grandchild. She is doing a full-on Winnie the Pooh themed nursery. She is having FIL move the upstairs office to the basement for this. I kind of thought it was a little over the top when FIL told me she purchased a monitor.
Just wondering if anyone elses family is doing the same.
I 'get it' for parent's who will be babysitting, etc.. but for us, we live 5 minutes from them, baby won't be sleeping over, we will be going home. And even if he was going to sleep over.. a PNP would be fine.
Re: MIL/Mom having a nursery at their home?
My mom was originally planning on doing this, she also lives only 10-15 minutes away from us.
I think i've talked her down to just using our pack n play when she baby sits.
My mom is retired, and after my dad passed away 6 years ago has had a lot of trouble learning to be an independent person. Now that she has her first and only grandchild on the way she's got this vision in her head of spending all her time with the baby.
I'm not looking forward to what happens after the baby is born, it's been crazy just keeping her under control during the pregnancy.
My MIL is turning her back room into a "nursery." I quote "nursery" because all of the things she has gathered so far are used and not up to safety standards (i.e, a drop-side crib with plastic hardware, recalled toys, toys like marbles that are so small a baby would choke on them). I guess she thinks all of this is grand and appropriate because her kids slept on the floor as babies. She's completely delusional if she thinks my baby will ever be staying with her, much less visiting, because she smokes in her house, and has drug & alcohol problems. Oh yeah, and because I hate her.
My parents are wonderful. They live 5 hours away, so they are not making a baby room, but I know that whenever we come to visit the house will be baby-proofed, and we can bring our PNP or cosleeper with us.
Omg we could be SILs! My MIL is doing the exact same thing!
I straight up told her not to waste her money on a crib, she wont use it. My lil princess is staying with me thank you very much. Even if she should stay the night, which will be A LONG TIME AWAY, we have a PNP for that. She irks me... Badly..
SMIL already has a full nursery set up; even has high chair, bouncy seat, swing, convertible crib, and tons of baby and toddler toys. She did all this when SSIL had her baby last year. He has stayed twice I think. I've already told SMIL & FIL they are more than welcome to keep LO when ever they want.
My parents havent, yet. They will once their house is built; they little house they live in now, they'll just use a p-n-p. They plan on keeping LO on weekends, which is fine with me.
My mom has a room completely dedicated to DS (and soon to be DD). My MIL also had a room designated for the kids. Both rooms have all the toys, toddler beds/cribs, wall decorations for kids, etc. My mom lives 20 minutes or so away and my MIL lives four hours. I am fine with it... DS has a place he knows that is his when he goes there and my kids will always spend time (and the night) at their grandparents house frequently. I started leaving DS overnight about once a month at one month old.
I think it is fine for grandparents to get excited. Even if you don't plan on leaving them over there all the time, just let them do what they want... I find it is easier to let things like this go than argue/try to talk them down. I have friends who's parents really did not even care about their LO's being born and don't even know what a pack n play is, so I always try to remember that if I think my mom is being overbearing or too excited.
BFP #1 9/7/10, EDD 5/14/11, Violet born 5/27/11.
BFP #2 4/9/12, EDD 12/16/12, M/C Rory 4/24/12.
BFP #3 10/6/12, EDD 6/16/12., Matilda born 6/17/13.
My MIL has a mini crib set up in a guest room at her home. My son has never slept in it and now he's way too big for it. I thought it was odd that she did it in the first place, but whatevs.
I think I would be a little weirded out by a full nursery at my mother's home or my ILs home unless they were planning to babysit full-time or even a few days per week.
I could definitely understand grandparents having a kids room if they had a few grandchildren that came over all the time, but other than that, it doesnt make much sense to me, unless they will be caring for the baby quite often.
My mom was telling me she planned on getting a pack and play (which I can understand) and a car seat and all this stuff. I told her not to waste her money. She thinks that I will be going back to work and would drive an hour out of my way to drop the baby off for her to babysit. I'm going to be a SAHM, so I definitely wont be doing this. She also thinks that we are going to want to go out all the time after the baby and leave her with my parents (who go out for drinks or to the casino 3-4 times a week til 2 in the morning) I was just straight with her and told her that wasnt going to happen.
My MIL is a whole different story. She is convinced that I am going to stay at her house for a few months after the baby because someone has to take care of me. Ive told her quite a few times that my husband will be taking care of me at our house where we will have all of the baby's stuff, but she doesn't listen. Their house makes me uncomfortable as is, plus all they cook at their house is seafood (which I cant eat), so I dont understand why she would think I would stay there.
I would find it odd for my MIL (or mother) to do that, but I wouldn't find it psycho. I'm expecting them to mind their own business in regards to what we choose to do with this birth so it's only fair that I do the same.
Now, situations where a grandmother-to-be is demanding sleepovers and even more extended visits, especially without the parents, are completely unreasonable to me. But going decor-crazy isn't automatically a sign of that.
My mom is recently retired and lives near my office. I will only get a 6-8 week maternity leave, and she has very generously offered to watch LO 3 days a week. I bought her a Graco Lauren crib and changing table, and will give her any useful shower duplicates if they come up. She won't have a dedicated nursery, but the crib and changing table get a wall in a guest bedroom.
I figure if I get free childcare, the least I can do it make it as easy as possible on LO and my mom by outfitting her with some supplies.
Caitlin 4.17.11 Madeline 10.20.13
DD2: February 2014
I think it depends on the situation, but to me it sounds a little creepy that she is going full out with a decorated nursery. My parents live 3000 miles away, so we visit them for a week at a time and they have a pack n play and an infant tub (DS is their 6th grandchild and they never set up a nursery). My in-laws live 40 minutes away and just have a pack n play (DS is also their 6th grandchild).
I totally don't know the situation, or your MIL, but it totally seems like she is trying to get attention, or she is REALLY bored.
My MIL is going to have a nursery at their house I guess, which I don't really understand but I do at the same time. She and FIL will be watching the baby a lot when I go back to work so it's fine with me but I reallllly don't plan on leaving him there overnight so the fact that they want to get their own crib is sort of strange but I guess it's fine since she would be buying it anyway. They can do whatever they want I guess (except NO winnie the pooh lol) even though we live less than 5 minutes away from them.
My own mom won't make a nursery for him but she lives almost an hour away so she won't see him as much as MIL will. That bums her out but hey she was the one who decided to move, not me! She was a nanny for years until the kids all grew up and none of them had a nursery, they just had a pack and play and then when they got older they slept in a bed in the extra bedroom. I assume this is what my mom will be doing as its been brought up a few times before.
Ah yes. The joys of hating crazy crazy people.
I'm weird, but I think I would actually like this. Yes, the theme is a little over the top, but it's nice that she wants your LO to come over and play. My mom lives on the other side of the country, but if she did live here I bet she'd be doing the same thing. I'm not sure if she'd go all-the-way and do a nursery, but my LO would def have his own room (even if she had to eliminate the guest room), his own toys, and I could even see her having different clothes there for him.
I am not Ultra Mom and I have no desire to be, but my mom is an ultra grandma. I would love to send the baby to sleep over at her house once a week or so - after the initial breast feeding and stuff was over. Having his own room would make that so easy.