Success after IF

My worst date story - long, but I had to share :)

I'm late to the party on bad date stories, so I had to post this here, because while it is long, I think it's funny. Indulge me.

So cute tall guy asks me out. I'm excited! So we meet up at a bar in his neighborhood. Great.

Turns out he wants to eat dinner at the bar. Fine.

We sit at an oddly small two-top about 10 feet from the entrance. Not ideal, but OK.

He starts in on how women belong at home/in the kitchen and no wife of his will ever work, etc., etc. Major turn off. So I start to tune out to what he's saying.

Cue the annoying table of 15 girls who all look like strippers at a big round booth in my line of vision (behind my date). Screaming (definitely woo! girls), folding their napkins to look like penises (impressive), and taking pictures of each other pretending to give blow jobs to said napkins (I'm going to go with crass) - these girls make my night just ever so slightly more uncomfortable.

I'm no longer hearing my date's misogynistic ramblings. I'm in my own special bubble, staring at my plate, eating as quickly as I can, thinking about when I can leave without feeling obliged to pay for my share (I was young!).

Then the stripper/woo! girls start yelling, screaming, and banging on the windows of the bar. Someone they know and are excited to see is coming in...

In walks a group of 15-20 little people. Somehow they know these girls. And they are all excited to see each other! Except for two of the little people who hang back. Deeply in lust, these two want some private time.

Except they are the exact same height as our oddly small two-top. So their heads and my plate are right next to each other. Staring at my plate is proving to be less of an escape.

And then they (the little couple - not the ones on the TLC show, but the ones next to my dinner plate) start making out. Big time. Lots of tongue, hands up her shirt. Also, did I mention that he (the little man) had a sweet leather jacket with fringe on? No? Well, that added a lot to the ambiance to the situation.

So starting at my dinner plate is no longer an option. And now my date is silent, not even telling me about how silly it is for me to start a career and take a perfectly good job away from a man. Our only option - staring at each other. And there were no sparks.

The date ends abruptly as I "wasn't feeling well." And to be honest, it wasn't much of a lie. I really was sick to my stomach.

Yeah - easily the worst date of my life. 

Re: My worst date story - long, but I had to share :)

  • OMG - that is hysterical!!! Was this in Chicago? If so, you have to tell me what bar it was.

    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • imageschmoodle:

    OMG - that is hysterical!!! Was this in Chicago? If so, you have to tell me what bar it was.

    Ditto! Man....what a train wreck. But it makes for an awesome story now!!!
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  • imageladychicago:
    imageschmoodle:

    OMG - that is hysterical!!! Was this in Chicago? If so, you have to tell me what bar it was.

    Ditto! Man....what a train wreck. But it makes for an awesome story now!!!

    Dublins - I think that's the name. Right by Gibsons. I can't say for sure because I sure as heck haven't been back there since!! :)

  • imagekme930:
    imageladychicago:
    imageschmoodle:

    OMG - that is hysterical!!! Was this in Chicago? If so, you have to tell me what bar it was.

    Ditto! Man....what a train wreck. But it makes for an awesome story now!!!

    Dublins - I think that's the name. Right by Gibsons. I can't say for sure because I sure as heck haven't been back there since!! :)

    Oh, I definitely know where that is. Off of the Viagra Triangle. That explains the Woo! girls, at least! LOL!
    Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation.
    Because we're fancy like that.

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  • imageladychicago:
    imagekme930:
    imageladychicago:
    imageschmoodle:

    OMG - that is hysterical!!! Was this in Chicago? If so, you have to tell me what bar it was.

    Ditto! Man....what a train wreck. But it makes for an awesome story now!!!

    Dublins - I think that's the name. Right by Gibsons. I can't say for sure because I sure as heck haven't been back there since!! :)

    Oh, I definitely know where that is. Off of the Viagra Triangle. That explains the Woo! girls, at least! LOL!

    Ditto!

    *** It's funny because I'm fat ***
  • That is hilarious. It would have been funny with just the story of your date but add in the woo girls and the little people and it makes it even better.
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  • soooo funny
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  • That is way too funny!  Thanks for the good laugh!  I thought I had a funny bad First date once but you definately have me beat!
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  • I'd like to thank you for that story...it was hilarious!

    ...and now I must go change my underpants ;-)

     

  • OMG.  Hysterical.  I nearly peed my pants. 

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