Babies: 3 - 6 Months
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Those who CIO

How long do you let your LO cry? What is the best way to go about it? I feel like I've tried everything and nights are still awful...
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Re: Those who CIO

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    I don't CIO, but I believe you are supposed to try to comfort the baby every 10 minutes.
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    imageVerbose:
    I don't CIO, but I believe you are supposed to try to comfort the baby every 10 minutes.
    thanks. I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it but I think its worth a try.
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    If you're going to use the CIO method, I would strongly recommend reading Ferber's book. The method is not as simple as just letting your LO cry. It's a book full of great information about sleep and outlines the most effective way to implement CIO if necessary. (we bought ours on Amazon so we could read it on the computer immediately) Good luck, I hope you get some rest soon!
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    We went in every 5-10 minutes. He settled after 30-45 minutes. It was awful, but we only had to do it that once.
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    I really suggest you read the Ferber book but essentially here is what I suggest.  For bed time do you routine, make sure you baby is visibly tired, and then put her in bed.  When she cries (opposed to fusses) go in after a minute, and then 3 minutes, and then 5 minutes, etc.  With my girls they have never cried for more than10-15 minutes but once they get into the routine they only whine for 30 seconds tops. 
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    Awesome thanks everyone!
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    I did it only one day. I was so fed up with him fighting his sleep I let him lay next to me and cry. Every 5 minutes I would check on him. He gave up arond the 20-25 minute mark and fell asleep. Now he cries maybe a minute at the most then its good night Irene.
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    Yes, I would say get the Ferber book as well. We are on day #5 of it and yes we do the recommended intervals of checking that the book gives you.

    The first two days were rough, and the second day she actually cried a little more than the first. However, day #3 she only cried for 30 minutes for the whole night. And day #4 she only cried a total of 15 minutes for the whole night.

    I know alot of people are anti-cio on here but it has made a big difference. She now goes to bed drowsy but awake. She does wake up a few times during the night still but only fusses for 1-5 minutes and she can then put herself back to sleep. We still do allow for 1 night feeding because she is on the small side and she usually is generally hungry then. So we put her in bed around 8:30 p and she will usually wake up around 2 a.m. for her feeding then goes back to sleep quickly afterwards. We are all so much happier that we are getting sleep!

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    It is progressive intervals, not just starting at 10 minutes. In fact, that is really high for the first day. More like, day 1 - first 5 minutes (soothe for 2), 10 minutes (soothe for 2), 15 minutes (soothe for 2), then repeat every 15 minutes until LO is asleep. Do not go over 15 minute intervals the first night. The next night you do 10 minutes first, 15 second, 20 third and repeat at 20 minute intervals until LO is asleep. You add 5 minutes (or really whatever increment you want - if 5 minutes more is too much for you) every night.

    Naps are different. You do the same 5, 10, 15 minute thing, but at one hour you end the nap. No CIO advice recommends over an hour for CIO during naps. If your LO falls asleep out of the crib after the nap, by themselves you let them be. Otherwise, you keep them up until their next nap and repeat.

    When you soothe, only talk and maybe pat them. Do not pick them up.

    Anyhow, I did the pick-up/put-down method for about a month and I have done Ferber this week. When I say "this week" - I mean, my DS CIO for 25 minutes for bedtime once and less than an hour for a nap the next day. Our results were super fast and I am ok with doing it.

    I am not anti-CIO by any means, but please do it the Ferber method. The straight up extinction method (putting them in and closing the door) is really rough for both you and baby. Even Ferber disapproves of that method. 

    DS 09.11.10
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