Bothered by MIL comment re: LOs sleep

hellopoppyseed

Writing on here seems to help me let things go so:

DS1 sleeps 7pm-7am with at least a 1 hour nap during the day.  He was a notorious sleep fighter and I have worked hard to make sure he gets enough sleep because otherwise it's a bad overtired cycle.  

Anyway MIL was here and said, "I hope you don't expect DS2 to sleep that much because I have NEVER heard of a child sleeping that much." Then she tells me what the nieces and nephews do. I don't care what they do. (On the same visit, she tells me how they are gumpy after their naps).

So I get on WebMD and it says this: 

" 1-3 Years Old: 12 - 14 hours per day

As your child moves past the first year toward 18-21 months of age he will likely lose his morning nap and nap only once a day. While toddlers need up to 14 hours a day of sleep, they typically get only about 10."I didn't show her this.  I just wanted to know for myself. Of course I don't expect DS2 to sleep exactly the same, but you can be sure that he will have the opportunity to sleep this much if he needs it.  I'm just irritated.  She can't remember what went on when her kids were little and I don't want to hear what other people are doing. This is normal for my kid and it wasn't easy getting him into such a good pattern. It has taken a lot of adjustment and consistency on our parts-it didn't just happen. For her to act like its a phenomenon is annoying.    

hersheykiss

Are we sisters? My MIL says the exact same thing. E is such a great sleeper, always has been. She sleeps 12 hours a night, plus a good 2-3 hours for her nap. Everyone keeps saying, "Ohhh, enjoy it now because you know your next one won't be as good." Eh, that may be, I don't expect them to be identical...I am not cloning my children.

Lola'sDogMom

Exact same with my MIL. She just doesn't understand baby sleep needs. Last time we saw them, they wanted me to not let DS nap at all and kept telling me "he has his whole life to sleep, he doesn't need to now." UGH, so frustrating!

hellopoppyseed

hersheykiss:

Are we sisters? My MIL says the exact same thing. E is such a great sleeper, always has been. She sleeps 12 hours a night, plus a good 2-3 hours for her nap. Everyone keeps saying, "Ohhh, enjoy it now because you know your next one won't be as good." Eh, that may be, I don't expect them to be identical...I am not cloning my children.

Yeah and apparently they need this much sleep so we are doing something right. Aaagh! I like your quote!

kabarbanel

That's a very normal sleep shcedule for your LO! My DS never sleeps 12 hours at night, but he takes 2-3 hour naps, so gets the 12-14 hours.

stever

Meh, all mothers complain and say stuff like that. My MIL never criticizes me to my face, but she spends a heck of a lot of time complaining about SIL's husband so I'm sure she's had a few choice words about my parenting. No worries. She's entitled to her opinions.

uofibabe

I still get the same issue with my MIL and even some of my coworkers that have kids!   Starts to really piss me off...the kid needs sleep - he doesnt cry when he needs to take a nap and he doesnt cry when we lay him down for bedtime so I must be doing something right!!   

DS goes to bed at 6pm and gets up at 6am during the week and takes 2 naps during the day that last 1-2 hours long.  so we are on the same track that you are! Hell...when I say time to go night night..he goes straight to the stairs and looks up and then comes to get me.  He knows when he is tired and it's time to go to bed so why would I screw up a good thing!  sorry...i started to vent as well.  Dont people know that good sleep during the day means excellent sleep at night?!?!  And like you we worked really hard to get to this point...I had a colicky baby for 3 straight months that cried 24/7 so when I have a child who now goes to bed with out a fuss I'm going to stick to our routine.

MrsLeslie030405

We have access to lots of info/facts today verses when they were others of babies/toddlers and much has changed since then with that info... you dont have to defend your parenting to her... if she brings stuff up just point her to where she can learn herself some facts and leave it at that.

Its irritating but coming from a wife with a biatch of a MIL who has yet to meet her grand daughter due to her extreme angry fits and know-it-it-all rants and emotionally abusive tirades when demanding we live our life as SHE demands we do... this is nothing.  

luvdv8

DD is one the same schedule and has been for months! I've actually had to push her out of her morning nap because she was sleeping so much. But kids need their sleep and let MIL know that if she wants to dictate the sleep patterns of a toddler maybe she should have another one! (FYI- when MIL started "suggesting" names for this baby DH mentioned that if she was so fond of the name maybe she should name her next LO that, so now it's become our fallback response- have another baby and go ahead and do that!)

cstw

You know what? I say EFF your MIL. My MIL told our family members something must be wrong with DD when she was younger b/c she slept too much. She was worried she had health issues we were not getting looked at because her own kids never slept that much. She's crazy and it sounds like yours is too. Keep focused on protecting your LO's sleep and you'll get another good sleeper, too.

hellopoppyseed

Thanks ladies. I didn't know this was so common!

CassRW

Ugghh...MILs.  Mine doesn't even know how much sleep DS gets, where he sleeps, or how he likes to fall asleep.  I could go on and on.....but I won't.  They are wonderful aren't they????  Like you don't know what your child needs.

Diana27

I could totally write this...but it is MY OWN mom and dad.  My in-laws are wonderful and think our parenting is wonderful....my Mom and Dad are all like, "you make her go to bed so early"....blah, blah, blah.  Ummmm, just b/c your other grandkids are up ALL the time and CRABBY ALL the time...it's b/c they do not sleep at night or nap durning the day. 

I do not "make" her go to sleep....she is TIRED...she WANTS to go to sleep...she lays on the floor by her crib....what am I to do?!  Make her get up and play?  LOL. 

She sleeps from 6:30-7pm till about 7-8am...and takes 2 1hr naps a day...that is what works for her....sorry if that interupts YOUR schedule...but she's my daughter and I will put her to bed when it is appropriate for her.  Geesh...LOL.