MIL obsessed with our baby... — The Bump
July 2011 Moms

MIL obsessed with our baby...

What do you do when your MIL is obsessed (yes obsessed!) with the baby?! My MIL calls me every day about this baby (at least 3 times a day!) and when i ignore her calls on my cell phone, she calls me at work, well I dont have caller ID at work, so I have to answer it.... She cried when DH told her she couldn't go to our last Dr.'s appt.. Any suggestions on how to handle an obsessed MIL??
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Re: MIL obsessed with our baby...

  • What does your H say about it?  Will he talk to her?

    I have the exact opposite situation.  My MIL hasn't called me or DH at all since we told her at Christmas.

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  • Wow, she does sound obsessed. My MIL is pretty dramatic as well. She called us crying because I changed my mind and wanted my own mother to come right after I have the baby instead of my mother and her. I just wanted a low key household when I come home from the hospital. Needless to say, I gave in and she's coming right when I have the baby - UGH!

    My opinion is, let your husband talk to her. MH let me talk to his mother about all of this and I think it just made it worse. She needs to understand that you and your husband feel this way, not just you. Hopefully she'll back off a little bit. Does she live close? Thankfully, my MIL lives over 350 miles away. Wink

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  • Tell her you're being reprimanded for taking too many personal calls at work. Hopefully that'll make her think before she dials. The crying though? Neither DH nor I have patience for that kind of thing and it would not be tolerated. I hope your H can say something to her.
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  • Oh honey, I feel your pain!  She is definitely crossing the line by calling you that much. There comes a point where it feels like they are trying to intrude and almost trying to be a part of your marriage.  It's really inappropriate.  My MIL doesn't call me this much, but she calls my husband this much.  And even that bugs me a lot.  It feels like she is trying to weisel her way into our family. 

    That being said, you need to have your husband talk to her about this.  He needs to be straight forward about it.  It will be tough for him, but it's him that needs to do it.  If you talk to her it won't mean as much as it will coming from her own child.  I hope everything goes ok!  That's a tough situation!  Good luck! 

  • DH is frustrated with her too. He just tells her how he feels. He holds nothing back. But it isn't helping! And if you say something to her about not coming to an appointment or anything about the baby....she cries and is all dramatic and says "yall dont love me"...bla bla bla...

    She calls me 3 times a day and texts me non stop "are yall ok? " or "whats wrong" if i dont answer!

    And she lives less than 5 minutes from my house. Ugh! So if we dont answer sometimes, she just comes over! Privacy! Thank you!  She worries about everything! My husband works 3rd shift, so she calls me every night to make sure he is up for work. He is married and is going to be a father! He's an adult. Leave him alone! And he tells her to stop calling or to leave us alone, but it doesn't do any good. She is realllyyyy stressing me out!

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  • Let your H talk to her. You need to make a plan and be comfortable with it. If you only want your mother, then tell MIL that she can help another week.

    I caved because DH wouldn't stand up to his parents. I have lots of resentment and regrets of the way things happened. Example: Since no limits were put on MIL brought my SSs (who were 5 and 4 at the time) everyday. She would stay at the hospital with the kids all day long, including the day I gave birth. I had no rest for a week after giving birth. I almost lost my mind, serious.

    This time things will be diffrent. I will call the shot since its my body and my child.

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  • imageMarshaBrady:

    What does your H say about it?  Will he talk to her?

    I have the exact opposite situation.  My MIL hasn't called me or DH at all since we told her at Christmas.

    Same. This is her third grandchild so I guess it's not as exciting...

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  • imagehesperfect:

    This time things will be diffrent. I will call the shot since its my body and my child.

     

     

    I definitely know what you mean about calling the shots with your body and your child. I'm not letting anyone come over after the baby is born (to our house). I just want it to be DH and I! Its our family now. I want my rest and we need family time. And i've already hold DH that while we're at the hospital, if i get tired, he is to make everyone leave. I know I will need my rest!

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  • Ugh! I know how you feel, though MIL hasn't wanted to come to any appointments (Thank goodness!) that's so over the top. But the phone calls and texts "Are you mad at me?" "What did I do wrong?" "Do you hate me?" She's even changed the route she used to take to go into town, so now she passes our house all the time and blows the horn. One time she told us she would stop by on her way BACK from town, but changed her mind and stopped in on her way to town. It was a Saturday morning and DH and I were having sexy time. She walks in the house yelling "Hello? Are you still in bed? Get up lazy bones!" Um, your son isn't 5 anymore, you can't come in to 'wake him up' Ugh!

    Needless to say, lots of boundaries are going to be laid down about this baby. She's totally obsessed with it. People at her work told her she needed to adopt her own 'cause she was overly excited about ours. Maybe you could make that suggestion to your MIL? ;-)

  • imageAddiGreene:
    What do you do when your MIL is obsessed (yes obsessed!) with the baby?! My MIL calls me every day about this baby (at least 3 times a day!) and when i ignore her calls on my cell phone, she calls me at work, well I dont have caller ID at work, so I have to answer it.... She cried when DH told her she couldn't go to our last Dr.'s appt.. Any suggestions on how to handle an obsessed MIL??

    Do you even allow YOUR mother (or anyone else) to come to your appointments?  If not, then make sure she knows that, too.  That you want your appointments to be for you and your husband only.

    When she calls you at work, just say "I cannot talk right now; I'm really busy."

    If this is how she's acting now, I can only imagine that she'll want to be in the delivery room.  Heck - she'll probably want to cut the cord, name the baby, and nurse it for the first time, too!  Just kidding on that last sentence!

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  • imagedowntown80:

    If this is how she's acting now, I can only imagine that she'll want to be in the delivery room.  Heck - she'll probably want to cut the cord, name the baby, and nurse it for the first time, too!  Just kidding on that last sentence!

     

    Yea...we have already had the talk that she NOT allowed in the room during delivery. I have put my foot down and my mom will be in there with me to hold my hand because DH said he was gonna be at the bottom to 'catch' the baby. And my mom said that she would tell her personally that it was off limits if she tries to come in! And I'm going to have to get DH to sit and talk to her. This is really rediculous. I never imagined that I would end up in this situation.

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  • I haven't really had this problem...last pg, MIL called about 30 seconds after I would reach the car after each appointment looking for info, lol.  Aside from always saying I looked huge and what did the dr. Say (really, every time I saw her, and she is normally one of those people who won't say anything that could hurt someone's feelings), she wasn't too bad.

    in your situation, I would say you cannot take personal calls at work anymore unless it involves someone lying in a hospital bed dying.  ttell her it is unprofessional and you are getting in rouble, whatever.  I would ask DH to speak to her.  She is way over the top. GL!

     

     

     

     

     

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