registry vent...just a little frustrated

amandamillet

Ok now don't come to the conclusion that I'm a total brat and am ungrateful. I LOVED everything that I got at both of my showers. Everyone was sweet enough to participate, and we all had an awesome time. BUT... I just went over my registry to see what else I need before lo gets here. Just for the necessities, it's a little over $1300. The only people that bought from my registries were my mom, mil, and the hostesses. Everything else was clothes (that I already have too much of) and toys. The only stuff I got gift receipts with, was the stuff I registered for. So it's not like I can even go and get what I really need, and get rid of the stuff I'm loaded down on. Is anyone else in the same boat as me?

Really, I do love everything that I got, and I am so grateful that my friends and family even bought anything for my lo. There are just some things that I need a lot more than what I got. And, this wouldn't be as bad, but my dh's truck started to act up. So,  now we have to pay to get that fixed just a few weeks before lo is supposed to get here, and we have to pay the rest of our deductible.

bryanddani2009

I'm so sorry!!  Especially since you're having to deal with DH's truck!!  I don't think you are being ungrateful at all!  I'm dealing with the same thing right now.  I got a ton of clothes at my shower this weekend and I don't need them.  Unfortunately, people either took the tags off or didn't include gift receipts.  It's super frustrating, because, like you, we still need quite a few essentials and can't afford it at all!!  I hope it all works out...I'm going to try and exchange everything anyway and hopefully BRU will work with me...maybe you could try to return some of it!

StellarStina26

That sucks.  I am sorry.  I did that too...but my family started with the expensive stuff - or found something similar on sale and called me to see if it was alright.  

I won't call you ungrateful.  Because my boyfriend's family didn't spend a dime and I vent about it sometimes.  His one set of grandparents got us nothing.  The other set (one's with money) made us a homemade yarn blanket, and his mother made me a boppy pillow (which I love!) and homemade outfits (that are SUPER ugly... like no taste).  I don't mind homemade outfits - I have made some for our baby myself, but homemade doesn't have to be ugly.

Anyway.  Feel your pain - maybe in a different way.  I don't think that pregnancy hormones help when it comes to these things...  

Phil&Corinna

That stinks!!!  Are there tags on any of the outfits, identifying what stores they came from?? If there are, perhaps you can swap some of it out for gift certificates.  Even if it's strictly a clothing store, you could save the gc's for later for sizes that you will eventually need.  Unfortunately, that won't help with the money right now but at least you won't be overrun with stuff your LO will never use!!

mesostar

Yeah I still have about 700 dollars worth of stuff on my registry too! Kind of a bummer.

AimesH

The same thing happened to me.  I thought the all the clothes were precious, but there was just too much of them and there was so much more stuff we really NEEDED.  I also did not have receipts so this is what I did after I decided what I prefered to keep... 

I wrote down all the brands and then typed the brands into the search bars on target.com, babiesrus.com and walmart.com because I assumed that's where most of them came from.  I then wrote down what stores they came from, organized them and then took them to those stores.

 None of it was on my registry, but suprisingly not one store gave me any trouble.  There were a few things that did not show up in their systems so I just took those things to the next store.  When I was finished I had $650 in gift cards (which is okay with me since I had so much left to buy from all the stores) and only 2 outfits and one set of receiving blankets left that I was trying ot return.

A few items also came from places like jcpenneys, dillards, etc so if all else fails get on their websites and check there.

Kristen92105

I didn't get much from my registries either. I kept what I liked/needed the most and found out the stores where they carry the same or similar items.  I got store credit for the returns, but then was able to get things we NEEDED.  I have a friend that just took all the stuff she didn't want from her showers from store to store and asked customer service to go through them to see what they carried there and returned things that way.  No reason to have so much clothes but none of the necessities especially when you are trying to be money conscious.

amandamillet

I suppose I could try to return without a receipt. Don't some stores give gift cards and in-store credits for that kind of thing? I hate returning gifts, because I end up feeling so guilty. My grandma is one of those people that watch what you put on your child, and what toys they play with. Then, she asks where that stuff is if she doesn't see it. lol She SHOULD understand since she told me to cut down my registry to what I NEED, rather than what I WANT.

amy259

For those of us that aren't having a shower we have had to plan to buy most if not all of our items ourselves and honestly that's what people should plan to do. No one has to buy you anything. I would sort through the clothes and try to figure out what stores they came from, hopefully they just ripped the prices off. Also, what necessities cost $1300?

perplexed59

amy259:

For those of us that aren't having a shower we have had to plan to buy most if not all of our items ourselves and honestly that's what people should plan to do. No one has to buy you anything. I would sort through the clothes and try to figure out what stores they came from, hopefully they just ripped the prices off. Also, what necessities cost $1300?

 I agree with this. At least you have the option of taking some stuff back and getting what you need. We have gotten most of our stuff second hand, from other rooms in the house or sucked it up and bought it. We wanted this child and had to figure out how to provide for it. Be happy that you were blessed with a shower and were given so many new things. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but really showers shouldn't be about the gifts you recieve but about how people have gotten together to celebrate the new baby you are bringing into this world.  

perplexed59

amy259:

For those of us that aren't having a shower we have had to plan to buy most if not all of our items ourselves and honestly that's what people should plan to do. No one has to buy you anything. I would sort through the clothes and try to figure out what stores they came from, hopefully they just ripped the prices off. Also, what necessities cost $1300?

 I agree with this. At least you have the option of taking some stuff back and getting what you need. We have gotten most of our stuff second hand, from other rooms in the house or sucked it up and bought it. We wanted this child and had to figure out how to provide for it. Be happy that you were blessed with a shower and were given so many new things. I'm sorry if that sounds rude but really showers shouldn't be about the gifts you recieve but about how people have gotten together to celebrate the new baby you are bringing into this world.  

MissYouDietCoke

While I get that it is frustrating that you spent some time picking your registry items and people didn't buy from them, I generally agree with the last few posters.   I'm not trying to be overly harsh at all, but when we found out that I was pregnant, DH and I planned to pay for everything that we wanted for LO with our own money.  I feel like that is our job as parents. 

Carrie7508

amy259:

For those of us that aren't having a shower we have had to plan to buy most if not all of our items ourselves and honestly that's what people should plan to do. No one has to buy you anything. I would sort through the clothes and try to figure out what stores they came from, hopefully they just ripped the prices off. Also, what necessities cost $1300?

 

I have to agree with this, as well.  When DH and I found out we were expecting, we budgeted and planned to provide for this child we created.  It isn't anybody else's responsibility to make sure our child has what he needs, and I take that very seriously.  I know you are not ungrateful for the things you received, so don't take this the wrong way. 

Also, we spent less than $1000 total for all "necessities" including all nursery furniture, etc.  Maybe re-evaluate what is actually a necessity (place to sleep, food, car seat) and what is more of a want or could wait until you know the personality of your lo (swings, bouncers, carriers, etc.)

sweetpea2718

MissYouDietCoke:

While I get that it is frustrating that you spent some time picking your registry items and people didn't buy from them, I generally agree with the last few posters.   I'm not trying to be overly harsh at all, but when we found out that I was pregnant, DH and I planned to pay for everything that we wanted for LO with our own money.  I feel like that is our job as parents. 

I agree with this completely.  While I haven't had my shower yet, we are more than prepared to buy what we need.  We bought our crib from craigslist and the matching changing table from PB kids with points we had at the store. We also wanted a fancier-than normal stroller but were prepared to buy it since we really wanted it. I really don't know what could add up to $1300.  If money is an issue, there are ways around the pricier items.   

lizard76

I'm stuck at the $1300 of stuff that you need/want.  That seems like a crazy amount of money to spend, unless you were planning on really high end furniture/strollers/etc. to be purchased, in which case that may be why few people purchased things from your registry.

Klmorgan83

I know you aren't trying to be ungrateful, but I have to agree with the last few posters.  When you have a baby, it's your resposibility to purchase the things you will need...yes showers are where people give gifts, but you should be grateful for what you were given, not stress over what you didn't get.  And I also can imagine what necessities you need that add up to $1300. 

eturp

I'm in the same boat as you so I feel your pain. I had my last shower yesterday and between the two that I had only 3 people bought off our registry. I went to BRU today and used my completion coupon for the rest of our necessities and really had to question what was really a necessity at this point (put off buying things I had on there that we won't need for the first few months). In total I only had to spend about $300 to finish getting everything but that was after really, really, scrimping. GL!

mrs.ptb

I had the same exact problem with my shower. ONLY my friends bought off the registry. Unfortunately, the other 90% of guests did not.

I took almost everything back without a receipt. I went in the order of where I wanted store credit. The stores were perfectly fine with it and gave us store credit for pretty much everything. First Buy buy Baby, then Babies R Us, and then as a last resort, Kohl's.

I only ended up with 2 or 3 unreturnable items and a bunch of store credit. I made a list just like you did, and the things we needed still or wanted still totaled around $2500.

I think in the end with store credit and a few gift cards, we're ending up putting about $500 out of pocket.  

pregaftertubal

Klmorgan83:

I know you aren't trying to be ungrateful, but I have to agree with the last few posters.  When you have a baby, it's your resposibility to purchase the things you will need...yes showers are where people give gifts, but you should be grateful for what you were given, not stress over what you didn't get.  And I also can imagine what necessities you need that add up to $1300. 

this! 

PLEASE do some researching.  there are ways to get things a WHOLE lot cheaper!  you can do it!  good luck.  and BTW, I wouldn't go putting this over on the shower boards, they are ruthless over there;)

amandamillet

Yes I know $1300 is a lot, but had I not been having a shower I would have bought it all myself. I was told NOT to buy a thing until after my showers which is why i am now stressing over this. Being able to buy this stuff a little at a time along the way would have made this a lot easier. I am now stuck with this plus the truck, and we're having to push back some of the things we had planned for after the baby. I completely understand where all of y'all are coming from. Had I read this post from someone else, I wouldn't have even responded. I am very lucky to have had my showers. My sil and mil had been planning them since before we found out I was pregnant. I definately didn't want to post this in the showers board, they probably already read this and started bashing me over there anyways. I really didn't want to seem ungrateful. I was just venting. I'm off to start the shopping. Thank you for all of the input.