DH and I weren't trying for a baby and when we got pregnant we were shocked and excited! Well, I went in on Friday for just a routine visit and we tried to hear the heartbeat on dopler and the midwife heard no heartbeat. I then went in for an ultrasound later that day where they found a gestational sac but couldn't locate a heartbeat. They found the fetal pole and it measured about 7 weeks 6 days, I'm supposed to be close to 11. As the midwife immediately came over to the room with the ultrasound tech, I knew it was the end. The fetus passed and my body refused to recognize it. The fetal pole continued to shrink during the weekend and now only measures about 6 weeks 4 days. I'm a healthy 20 year old and can't help but wonder why. How could this happen to me? I know it's nothing I did but I can't help but feel guilty over all those days I felt like I didn't want to be pregnant because I was so miserable and all I wanted was it to be over and to be holding my child. Now those miserable days were for nothing.
I just want this fetus out of me. I feel awful for saying that but I want to feel "normal" again and I can't do that while my baby lies quiet inside my womb. I'm opting for a D&C since I can't take the waiting any longer. I hope to find strength from the women on this board who have been through this and who have felt what I am feeling.