Introduction — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Introduction

DH and I weren't trying for a baby and when we got pregnant we were shocked and excited! Well, I went in on Friday for just a routine visit and we tried to hear the heartbeat on dopler and the midwife heard no heartbeat. I then went in for an ultrasound later that day where they found a gestational sac but couldn't locate a heartbeat. They found the fetal pole and it measured about 7 weeks 6 days, I'm supposed to be close to 11. As the midwife immediately came over to the room with the ultrasound tech, I knew it was the end. The fetus passed and my body refused to recognize it. The fetal pole continued to shrink during the weekend and now only measures about 6 weeks 4 days. I'm a healthy 20 year old and can't help but wonder why. How could this happen to me? I know it's nothing I did but I can't help but feel guilty over all those days I felt like I didn't want to be pregnant because I was so miserable and all I wanted was it to be over and to be holding my child. Now those miserable days were for nothing.

I just want this fetus out of me. I feel awful for saying that but I want to feel "normal" again and I can't do that while my baby lies quiet inside my womb. I'm opting for a D&C since I can't take the waiting any longer. I hope to find strength from the women on this board who have been through this and who have felt what I am feeling.


Chart
Surprise BFP 12.17.10; No heartbeat 01.28.11; D&C 02.03.11
TTCAL began 03.03.11; Break 4.25.11; TTCAL continues 6.9.11;
PAL/PgAL Welcome

Re: Introduction

  • Im so sorry for your loss. I think i recognize you from the Aug 11 board. This board has alot of support and comfort to give. Feel free to message me if you need someone to talk too.

    BFP#1 11.19.10 Missed MC 01.10.11 Sam & Alex
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  • I am so sorry for your loss, and understand your position completely.  I hope you can get things started, one way or another, so you can start healing.  This board has been so great for advice and support!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Photobucket BabyFruit Ticker Blinkies, Glitter Graphics & more" BFP #1 12/26/06 DS born 08/08/07 BFP #2 12/16/10 EDD 08/23/11 Missed M/C ~7weeks D&C 02/04/11 BFP #3 3/11/11 4/1/10 heard HB 149!!! EDD is 11/17/11
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  • I'm so sorry for your loss ((((hugs))))
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    4 losses: Natural m/c 8w 1/11, CP 12/11, CP 3/12, and our perfectly healthy baby girl Charlotte Grace, missed M/C 5/31/12 at 8w5d
    DX: Endo, heterozygous MTHFR, low progesterone
    Surprise unmedicated BFP 9/21/12!! Beta #1 9/22 (10 DPO) 46 Beta #2 9/24 (12 DPO) 226! Heartbeat 136 bpm at 7w! It's a BOY!  Theodore Joshua born 5/23/13 at 7:36am via c/s, 7lb13oz, 19.25in
    TTC#2 5/14, BFP 8/15/14!  Beta #1 16 (11 DPO), Beta #2 71 (14 DPO) Beta #3 164 (16 DPO) Beta #4 633 (21 DPO) Beta #5 1487 (23 DPO) Heartbeat 121 bpm at 6w6d!  EDD 4/25/15
  • I'm so very sorry for your loss. I hope you find strength & support on this board.  

     

    Edit - Grammar mistake!

    BFP - 01/11/11
    M/C - 01/21/11 at 5 weeks 3 days





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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  You have come to the right place for support.  I understand what you mean about wanting the dead fetus out of you.  I was the same way and after my d&c I felt much better.  Although it has been a month and I am still healing I am still hopeful I will get my normal body back and able to try again soon.  I hope to same to you.  Good luck.
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  • I  am so sorry honey ~big hugs~  I hope that you find strength and support here.  The girls here are so awesome.  
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    BFP#1 04/2007 ~ MC @ 7 weeks


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  • I am so sorry sweetie.  Don't feel guilty for feeling that way.  It is totally natural to want to put this behind you.  Take the time to mourn your loss, and look here for support.  lots and lots of HUGS!
    TTC #1 since August 2007.
    multiple meds, lap for endo, injections...
    m/c at 7 weeks 1/22/11.
    BFP 3/21/11- au naturale!

    Our little miracle Jonathan Jozsef
    born 11/19/11
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  • I am so sorry for your loss.  I also had a missed m/c and I had the same feeling about wanting the baby out.  I opted for a D&E the day I found out my baby had no heartbeat.  Don't feel bad that you are feeling that way.

    I hope we are able to offer you some support here.

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss. I felt the same way right after my loss as you do. I'm young, I'm healthy, I've never broken the law, I'm a good person. Why is this happening to me?? This is all compleatly "normal" to feel. It sucks that any of us have to be here, but the ladies here are wonderful and supportive. Just know that you're not alone and that we're here for you. ((hugs))
    photo e9455f4d-9751-469e-a19f-460104cd2e5c.jpg photo jan15.jpg
    BFP #1 5/20/10 Natural MC at 5w4d 5/28/10
    BFP #2 11/3/10; BO at u/s 10w6d 12/16/10; Natural MC 1/7/11; D&C 4/21/11
    BFP #3 10/27/11 Please stick, LO!! 2/6/12 It's a Girl! Alexis Grace born 6/29/12
    BFP#4 4/27/14 Stick, stick, stick!! 8/11/14 It's a Boy! Evan Wesley born 1/8/15
    "Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow, that is patience."  Let it Be (blog)My BFP Charts
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    This time I'm not leaving without you.
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