LONG: f/u to introducing paci to break DD of lovey addiction

kyfirewife

aka - help explain DD's behavior

So, for the most part, my idea worked beautifully. We introduced the paci, and she pretty much immediately was willing to substitute the paci for the stuffed turtle. The kicker being that she almost always will only keep the paci in her mouth for a few minutes, then put it down somewhere, whereas before she would keep that turtle's tail in her mouth all day if we'd let her. So... huge success.

Everyone who watches her: my parents, my ILs, the sitter, even DH have basically told me I'm a genius. They would have never tried it. My own mother gave me the side eye when I first told her we were doing it, but later conceded that "you know your child best" and agreed to follow my wishes.

BTW - she still gets him for sleeping, but only for sleeping. Period. No exceptions.

So, great, right?

Well, almost.

She only asks for the turtle with me. Asks is a major understatement. Begs. Pleads. Screams. Cries. Goes back to begging with her best "Mommy Turtle Peeeaasssse!!!!" whine. She will keep this up for.ever. The longest I've timed her is 47 minutes. Seriously. Forty Seven minutes of her begging, crying, screaming for her turtle. Doesn't want paci, doesn't want any other stuffed animal, doesn't want to watch her favorite shows, play with her favorite toys, nothing consoles her.

But this only happens with me. Just me.

I have double checked with everyone else who watches her. They all have said that she has all but completely stopped even asking for him with them. But with me? Begging.

Example: I picked her up from the sitter on Friday. She runs squealing with joy to meet me at the door. Yay! Then immediately turns, goes to her diaper bag, opens it, and starts to get out the turtle. I put it back and tell her no, it's not bed time. She proceeds to scream and throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. This tantrum continued for over half an hour, out the door, into the car seat, driving down the road, in the parking lot of Big Boy, only stopping when DH showed up to meet us for dinner.

That scene? Is typical. And I am seriously at my breaking point over this stupid turtle. I want to burn the thing. I hate it.

I don't give in to her, no matter how long she asks for him. Never did. Not even before we introduced the pacis. So... why does she keep it up? And only with me?

My mom suggested there's some sort of attachment association between me & the turtle, and suggested I ask her pedi for a reference to a child behaviorist.

IDK. All I know is we have to figure out something or I am going to lose. my mind. over a stupid stuffed turtle.

Mrs.Cooley2bee

In all honesty I would probably make the thing disapear for good and just deal with the consiquences for a few days.  However, I understand that you may not want to do that.  DD likes her blankies and a few stuffed animals. It really depends on the day as to which one she wants in bed with her, no clear favorite.  So, I do understand how kids get comfort from an item.  That being said, maybe find another item like a small blankie or other stuffed animal for bed time.

If you really think it's best to keep the turtle around for bedtime I would make sure you give her absolutley NO REACTION when she asks for it, NONE.  Continue on with your business, talk about other things, but don't act like you hear her request for the turtle.  Maybe she is feeding off the fact that you say "no, you get it at bedtime" or whatever you may be saying to calm her down.  I know when DD is whining I make every attempt to pretend I can't hear her and after a bit it usually works.  GL.

Superchicy

Mrs.Cooley2bee:

In all honesty I would probably make the thing disapear for good and just deal with the consiquences for a few days.  However, I understand that you may not want to do that.  DD likes her blankies and a few stuffed animals. It really depends on the day as to which one she wants in bed with her, no clear favorite.  So, I do understand how kids get comfort from an item.  That being said, maybe find another item like a small blankie or other stuffed animal for bed time.

If you really think it's best to keep the turtle around for bedtime I would make sure you give her absolutley NO REACTION when she asks for it, NONE.  Continue on with your business, talk about other things, but don't act like you hear her request for the turtle.  Maybe she is feeding off the fact that you say "no, you get it at bedtime" or whatever you may be saying to calm her down.  I know when DD is whining I make every attempt to pretend I can't hear her and after a bit it usually works.  GL.

I agree with Mrs.Cooley's suggestions.  Either it disappears and you have to wait out the aftermath until the dust settles, or be firm about when she gets it and not give in to the whining.  And if you go with the second I'd keep it hidden as well as possible so she doesn't see it when it's not bedtime and have a meltdown.  Like pp said about whining, you can't give in to it or they realize if they whine enough they get what they want.  DD is working on this right now and we're trying to ignore it and hope it doesn't become a habit.  GL!

ETA: another random thought, can you cut off the tail so she can't suck on it?