Need encouragement to get through today please...

janabelle3

So my husband is working today from 7 until about 8 tonight and he has been home a lot on and off working from home so I get his help once in awhile during the day. Today I just don't have it in me to deal with their screaming and crying for like thirteen hours... the last couple long days he was gone and I was by myself I cried like on an off all day and had a horrible experience. It was so stressful and I barely got any down time. Not trying to be harsh, I love these little cuties, but I just need some encouragment from you women to help me get through this day. I have such anxiety right now.    Thank you........ 

robinsokj

I've been there.  When the boys were newborn my husband was in busy season and often worked 14 hr days which meant he was gone for 16.  I cried a lot. 

Just keep telling yourself that it will get better.  Seriously.  It may not mean much, but if you keep reminding yourself that the crying will become at least a little bit more tolerable.  

Also, when I thought I couldn't take anymore, I would put them in their sleeves and go get some fresh air for a couple minutes.   

jlefief

Oh....I will be there with you when these little ones come out.  Hubby travels 2-3 days per week for work.

Don't have my babies yet, so may not be the best souce, but just remember you are only human.  And if you have to let them cry for 5 minutes for you to take a breath or a pee you are not a bad mom.  Just keep moving!

McKenna04

SO is gone for days at a time, every week.  It's tough at times but you may enjoy the time alone with them.  Good luck!!

blondek8

Like Robinsokj said, if you need a couple minutes from the crying just put them somewhere safe and step away for a bit. I think we've all had to do that at some point. You're not a bad Mom or a failure at all -- you're only human and it won't do any damage to them at all. I know I was always worried about "damaging" them emotionally if I had to walk away from them for a bit.

Are you able to get out of the house at all today? Put them in the stroller or go for a drive? Any friends or family able to come over, even for a quick visit? I try to do little things like that just to break up the monotony of the day when H is at work. It's winter here so walks are few and far between but drives are usually good! Just take the day a little bit at a time. You're doing a great job and I promise it gets better and a little easier soon! 

saverchic

Wow! ?We are almost in the same boat today. ?:-) ?My little ones will be six weeks old tomorrow, and I'm alone with them during the day too. ?You can do it! ?When I get really frazzled, I sometimes wear earphones to buffer the noise a little bit. ?Of course, I can still hear the screaming, but it's not as hard on my ears. ?I hope today goes well for you!

I<3MYHUSBAND

It can be overwhelming at times. Do you have a friend or anyone who can come over and help a bit? Or just to hang out with you? Either way you will get through today, lots of good thoughts headed your way.

kafunder

I had days like this too when our LOs were the same age. You're going to do a great job. What I would do is just take it one feeding at a time. Every time I got through a feeding, I felt like I won a small victory. I even would write down the schedule for the entire day, including what activities we were going to do after feedings and before naps (e.g., spend 15 min in bouncy chairs, 15 min on activity mat, 5 min of tummy time, etc.) so when they got bored or cranky, I had a plan what to do next. It also was rewarding to check off each activity all day long b/c I felt like we all accomplished something.

VaFirecracker

That's a long day. It's so hard when they cry all day. DS was a very fussy baby and I started swaddling him and turning on the vacuum cleaner when he got really carried away. It worked like a charm. He would go from red faced and screamed to passed out. I have been using it for one of my girls now. It seems ridiculously loud, but it just works so well! Good luck! Also, I totally understand the anxiety. My stomach does crazy flips when I am anticipating days like those. 

MrsLnt

We've all had those days.  There are many days I have to take a deep breath and really psych myself up for the day because I'm just not up for it. 

I've found that babies can sense when a person is stressed, and are usually more fussy in response.  When I keep my cool, so do they, it seems.  And I agree what PP said - if they have to cry 5 minutes so you can finish your lunch, go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, so be it, as long as they are safe and well.  I see your babies are still pretty little and at that age, mine didn't care for the swing, but do yours like it?  It's the only way I can get stuff done many days; we discovered it around 10 weeks and it's been a lifesaver. 

If there is anybody you can have come by, just to visit with you, or help with even one feeding?  Having a visitor helps me immensely because I'm not feeling so isolated.  

Good luck - you can do this and you will come out on the other side stronger!

LALASEPT05

Hang in there! I remember those days well. I couldn't wait to get into the shower and just cry. I didn't think of it back then but maybe you could just put them in the car and drive around for a while. I know my guys always liked the car and that is time when it was quiet and i didn't have to do anything. If they like the car maybe put them in there and drive around and listen to some of your favorite music. Good luck today!

Rangergal9

Lots of hugs going your way.  Be strong... things will get better!  Our saving grace has been the Fisher Price Cradle n Swing swings.  The girls love them and log many hours of sleep in them during the day!  I also found going for drives and getting some coffee helped in the early days.

janabelle3

Thank you so much everyone for the encouragement.... You are all awesome and this board is wonderful!! I am going to try to just keep my calm today and not get too frazzled. And like you all said, if the crying really starts to get to me-I think I'll just take a two minute break or do what I have to do to regroup. And since I need to vacumn anyways-I'll try that! ha ha...  Since it is winter, you just get such cabin fever because I can't take them in a stroller outside. Being cooped up in the house starts to really get to you-  I was going to see if a friend wanted to come by today but we are supposed to have snowy weather which isn't safe to drive in. thanks everyone!!!!

janabelle3

LALASEPT05:

Hang in there! I remember those days well. I couldn't wait to get into the shower and just cry. I didn't think of it back then but maybe you could just put them in the car and drive around for a while. I know my guys always liked the car and that is time when it was quiet and i didn't have to do anything. If they like the car maybe put them in there and drive around and listen to some of your favorite music. Good luck today!

 

Yes!!!  I find myself crying in the shower too- lol!!!  It is just plain HARD taking care of two babies and we need to let it out.    I just can't help it.

janabelle3

Rangergal9:

Lots of hugs going your way.  Be strong... things will get better!  Our saving grace has been the Fisher Price Cradle n Swing swings.  The girls love them and log many hours of sleep in them during the day!  I also found going for drives and getting some coffee helped in the early days.

 

haha we have this swing!!!  And it keeps our little Chloe napping for hours on end..she loves it!  What's funny is, we have a second swing by Graco and neither baby likes it whatsoever. Actually been thinking about getting rid of it but we'll see if they like it one day.... 

LakeGenevaBride

Where in Illinois do you live?  It really does help to get out of the house, but with the storm coming I guess thats kind of hard.  I used to make a quick trip to walmart between feedings just to get out.  Plus they liked to look around and if they cried, well, its only walmart.   I had a lot of anxiety and at 9 weeks pp I started lexapro which really helped me to think clearly and not get so overwhelmed.  If you continue to have crying spells, and lots of anxiety, trouble sleeping, etc, consider calling your doctor for advice. 

mrs.cam

Good luck!! I remember 6 weeks was the worst for me with my boys, after that they started getting better, crying less and interacting more. Hang in there!

janabelle3

LakeGenevaBride:

Where in Illinois do you live?  It really does help to get out of the house, but with the storm coming I guess thats kind of hard.  I used to make a quick trip to walmart between feedings just to get out.  Plus they liked to look around and if they cried, well, its only walmart.   I had a lot of anxiety and at 9 weeks pp I started lexapro which really helped me to think clearly and not get so overwhelmed.  If you continue to have crying spells, and lots of anxiety, trouble sleeping, etc, consider calling your doctor for advice. 

Carol Stream.. Where is Gages Lake?  Wonder if we are near each other..

Yeah if my anxiety continues , I would definitely seek help for sure. Just wishing for one fifty degree day soon so I can get outside-ha!! Wishful thinking......  All of us IL women who have multiples should all get together!!

janabelle3

mrs.cam:

Good luck!! I remember 6 weeks was the worst for me with my boys, after that they started getting better, crying less and interacting more. Hang in there!

 

I can't wait for that to happen...   I just ordered a cool tummy time interactive mat so hopefully that will be something else to entertain them during the day. Crossing fingers.. 

LALASEPT05

Just checking in to see how you are making out today. Just a few more hours right? I really also think I had a bit of post partum anxiety so like others said definitely talk to your doctor. I didn't reach out and I think I spent 6 months be anxious and scared when I didn't have to be. I remember being at work and being nervous when it was time to go home.

It is hard and there were so many times I felt like I was never going to be able to be a mother to both babies. I felt like they didn't care if it was me taking care of them or someone else and that others were so much better at it than I was. Some of those feelings are normal and I didn't expect them and so I upset to have those emotions. But it definitely gets better. Soon they will be interact more and look at you like they know just who you are! It really does happen super quick. 8 weeks was a big mile stone and 12 weeks was and 6 months was as well. You're almost to 8 weeks and you'll see a big difference. Hang in there!

janabelle3

Hi.. Thanks for checking in- I really appreciate that. I don't know what I would do without this board today.    Yep- a few hours..  can't wait for my hubby to get home so I can go take a short bath to decompress. And cry and let it out- haha. And you know what- I am not ashamed to admit it, but I think I do have some post partum anxiety for sure. I am meeting with a counselor next week actually about it. I want to be the best mom possible and not feel this way, it's just overwhelming at times. I mean all night last night-I couldn't sleep because I was anxious and nervous about my husband going to work today. And I love these cuties, I don't want to have these emotions, but they are just there.  Everyone is telling me it gets better and I have to just trust that ya know?   Anyways- thanks for your posts!!!!

janabelle3

LALASEPT05:

Just checking in to see how you are making out today. Just a few more hours right? I really also think I had a bit of post partum anxiety so like others said definitely talk to your doctor. I didn't reach out and I think I spent 6 months be anxious and scared when I didn't have to be. I remember being at work and being nervous when it was time to go home.

It is hard and there were so many times I felt like I was never going to be able to be a mother to both babies. I felt like they didn't care if it was me taking care of them or someone else and that others were so much better at it than I was. Some of those feelings are normal and I didn't expect them and so I upset to have those emotions. But it definitely gets better. Soon they will be interact more and look at you like they know just who you are! It really does happen super quick. 8 weeks was a big mile stone and 12 weeks was and 6 months was as well. You're almost to 8 weeks and you'll see a big difference. Hang in there!

 

oops.. responded to ya in the above post.. I forgot to "quote" it....

LALASEPT05

Good for you! You're doing great! I think you're doing better than I did. You'll get used to the crying believe it or not. I know I used to put them in their bouncy seats and bring them up so I could take a shower. Some times they'd even fall asleep and I could get a break. 

blondek8

Glad you made it through today Janabelle! Give yourself a pat on the back. It's no small feat sometimes! Take an extra long break tonight when your H gets home. You deserve it! I'll be in your shoes tomorrow -- H only works 10 hour shifts though. Too bad we all can't have one giant playdate. That might make things a bit easier!

As for the PPD/PPA -- if you feel like you're not coping well just talk to someone and get some help. I've been through HeII with PPD and just now coming out the other side. Some days are still really really low though, but it's getting better every week. PM me if you ever need to chat. 

janabelle3

blondek8:

Glad you made it through today Janabelle! Give yourself a pat on the back. It's no small feat sometimes! Take an extra long break tonight when your H gets home. You deserve it! I'll be in your shoes tomorrow -- H only works 10 hour shifts though. Too bad we all can't have one giant playdate. That might make things a bit easier!

As for the PPD/PPA -- if you feel like you're not coping well just talk to someone and get some help. I've been through HeII with PPD and just now coming out the other side. Some days are still really really low though, but it's getting better every week. PM me if you ever need to chat. 

Oh I sure will.. haha.... gonna take a long bath with a nice magazine! lol.  And yep-that would be awesome to all have a playdate..haha.. if we all lived in the same state. lol!  Yeah.. as far as the PPD/ PPA issue.. I am going to meet with someone next week for sure, figure it can't hurt. Thanks so much for your support today!