Godmother/Godfather

kdidit

Ok let me explain the situation a little. My sister and her boyfriend have been together for over 2 years and everyone knows they plan to get married but no serious steps have been taken yet. But, I'm making her the Godmother and my brother the Godfather.

I don't want to hurt her boyfriends feelings because I do think of him as family but if they're not married yet it's a little weird to name him Godfather. I don't want to hurt his feelings and I know my sister will probably be hurt but I think I'm doing the right thing.

Anyone else have a similar situation? 

urbanflowerpot

No, but I agree with your choices. They have to accept your request to be a godparent (which I'm sure you know, but your wording 'make' them...) so if your sister is upset this may spark some drama.

kxp004

Well, it's not exactly the same situation, but we are stepping on a few toes...

Most of my family selects there Godparents from within the family, but now that we are having our baby, we are actually planning on going outside of the family...simply because everyone on my side of the family is at least a Godparent 2x over or more estranged from the family and his side are Baptist...

My parents are a little upset that we aren't selecting my brother and sister for the positions, but seeing as they are only 12 and 11, it isn't really possible (rules about having confirmation and being a certain age), so they are understanding on that.... but it is a difficult situation because everyone wants us to pick certain people and it should really be about who is best for the honor and up to being a responsible Godparent...so I think you made the right decision too... anything could happen

kdidit

I think my sister might be a little upset. But once I tell her the reasoning behind my decision (They're not yet married.) she'll understand.

 

helenejr

yep - my brother and his GF were together for 3 years, live together and we had decided they would be perfect godparents (to share the job with my best friend and my husbands best friend) about a week ago they broke up so i'm glad i didn't ask them just yet - this may sound harsh and it's not meant to be but i agree with your decision not to make him godfather - you just never know what could happen....

00tedsgirl

DS's godparents are not married to each other.  A godparent is a spiritual mentor and can be anybody you want it to be.  This time we're thinking of asking our neighbors.

Tinky101981

This.

I am godmother to my nephew while his godfather is my BIL's best friend. My fiance wasn't asked and wasn't offended since he isn't religous.

As PP said godparents are more spiritual mentors. My fiance and I are named in sis & bil's will as guardians if anything happens to them- this should definitley be a "couple" rather than two individuals...

dairygirl19

This is standard in my family. If you're not married, you don't get godparent rights like your SO does. You just never know what may happen otherwise.

So I wouldn't feel bad about. We're making my sister godmother and probably leaving it at that. She has a boyfriend and if they get married we can call him godfather then. The church says we only need one, so that's what we're going with.

p1nklemonade

over the past few years since friends have been having kids, i've noticed that every baptism we've attended has mixed godparents. (not married)  so it's no big deal in my book!

mesr

i've seen plenty of people have godparents who are not married to each other.  not a big deal.  i think i offended some people when we didn't give our daughter godparents.  we're not religious people, so i didn't see the point.

cynnnabun

I don't think you need to pick 2 married people, BUT, I totally understand not picking the BF because they aren't married.

I'm not picking H's sister because she's not married and I know she would want her BF. So, if we have another child and she marries this guy, then they can get chosen.

I'm picking my best friend for godmother, and his best frriend for godfather.

kjbarber86

I agree with your decision.  I don't have a similar situation but I think you're doing the right thing.  My dad's brother and sister are my god parents and they were both married.  I just think picking blood family is the best option because you know they're always going to be around.  If your sister is upset that you're just choosing her boyfriend, just say that you didn't want your brother to be left out!

kewltif

In my social circle most godparents aren't married to each other. It is MUCH more common to pick one from each side of the family.  I will pick one from my side and DH will pick one from his side.

I'd be weary of the not- married thing myself.  DH's sister recently broke up with her boyfriend of 8 years who we ALL assumed would be getting married. I'm glad he wasn't in our bridal party and all our pictures! LOL