Babies: 3 - 6 Months
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Need Advice re: Cousin's Trust Fund

This is pertaining to the family situation that we have been dealing with since the beginning of January with my extended family who were caught when their apartment caught fire.

We have already lost one of our baby cousins and her twin sister is still in the hospital fighting for her life. It's day by day with her. DH and I set up a trust account for the family (well mostly for the kids). There is a large sum of money in there. DH and I are the signers on the account. The mother and father (DH's first cousin) of the kids are separated and the agreement was that if one of them requested funds, the other would have to email me to approve. That way, I knew that they both agreed to the withdrawal and no one got screwed over.

However, we are now experiencing conflict. Since mom and dad are separated, they are not getting along with one another and the funds have become a battleground (sad, I know).

Basically, mom is requesting money that dad doesn't agree with, so he's saying now. However, he needs $800 to pay for things and of course, mom is piiissed so she is basically denying dad any money until he approves her request. Dad has asked her mom and his mom to over-ride her requests, but I'm not sure I agree with that. why should HE have any more right to the money than her? And of course, she is NOT going for that.

I don't really want to get much more in the middle, and was trying not to really control the money; even though I have to sign to withdraw it, I don't really see it as MY money, but maybe I need to start getting picky and ask for a breakdown as to what the requested withdrawls are for??

Oh, I don't know!! Advice please!!

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Re: Need Advice re: Cousin's Trust Fund

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    I know that in CT, with probate, trusts and estates matters, an accounting does have to be provided in order for funds to be disbursed...

    Ugh...I'm sorry you're going through this, and I did miss your original post, and wanted to tell you how sorry I am about the entire situation.  My thoughts are with your family.

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    If the money is for the kids, i would ask for a breakdown of what they are spending it on. It is great that you and your DH set this up for them. If they are fighting over the money, they could just be spending to spite the other. I hope the lil one pulls through.
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    imagemonkiem:

    I know that in CT, with probate, trusts and estates matters, an accounting does have to be provided in order for funds to be disbursed...

    Ugh...I'm sorry you're going through this, and I did miss your original post, and wanted to tell you how sorry I am about the entire situation.  My thoughts are with your family.

    Thanks for the thoughts :-). Here in BC, for the first 6 months, it just acts as a normal bank account; deposits and withdrawals can be made as necessary, with no explanation. DH and I are keepign track of all withdrawal slips to cover our own asses, in case we get audited, we can prove that ALL the money went to them; that we didn't profit from it at all.

    After 6 months, we either withdraw the remaining funds and close the account or we consult a lawyer and have it turned into a documented trust account.

     

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    What about washing your hands of the parents all together and making the account into a trust for the remaining baby.  Make it into a trust that will be given to her when she turns 21 or to pay for college.  That way the money actually will help HER and will remove the fighting parents all together.

    You did a great thing by doing this for them, but they clearly can't be trusted with it.  Maybe this would be a way to help the baby in the future.

    Lucy
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