He called his mom...at 3am...because he's sick

aeklotz

My fiance had food poisoning last night.  I gave him some pain meds and gatorade and told him to try to relax.  He didn't think that was good enough so he called his mom at 3AM and she ran to Walgreens to buy some suppositories to stop the vomiting (which I have never heard of and don't really find necessary).  To top it off my house is a disaster because I have a hard time keeping up with cleaning, full time work, full time school and constant doctor appointments because i'm high risk.  I just really felt like he didnt trust me to take care of him, and now his mom thinks i'm too lazy to take care of him or the house.  I am being hormonally sensitive here?

SaphireShimmer

Maybe he wanted to take a bit of stress off you. As for her judging you, that's not fair. I mean she's obviously had kids, she should realize things aren't perfect.

Temp856430000003146

No, I don't think you're being hormonally sensitive. How old is your FI? It would really tick me off if H did that.

saccidananda108

tavia_martin:

No, I don't think you're being hormonally sensitive. How old is your FI? It would really tick me off if H did that.

This. Please tell me his mother didn't insert the suppositories for him...... 

MuseumMaven

Wow - time to cut the apron strings.

jlotero

I don't think so. How long has DH been throwing up? I have been sick multiple times throughout my life with food poisoning related illnesses....one night of throwing up will not hurt him and I think you were doing well to encourage him to rest. If DH called his mom at 3am, I think I would feel exactly how you do, and perhaps somewhat hurt that DH doesn't think i was doing enough for him. Have you talked to your fiance about how that made you feel? If my mother-in-law came over in the middle of the night, I would be less than thrilled and feel like some boundaries need to be put in place. You don't want to end up feeling like your future MIL can come over at the drop of a hat if your fiance wants her to take care of him. 

I know it feels terrible to be vomiting all night, but sometimes with food things it's okay for them to run their course. (There are some suppositories that can help control vomiting, but that doesn't sound like an emergent thing....especially at 3am.) On the other hand, if it had been more than 24 hours, he wasn't keeping anything down, then I would be more concerned, but I am guessing this was just a 24 hour bug, and will clear up in time. 

  

MegNJason

No - I think you have a valid issue. I think once your fiance feels better you need to have a talk with him. You need to tell him that you're getting married and starting a family together and that means growing up. If he needed something else to make him feel better then he should have asked you, not called his mom in the middle of the night. You could also tell him that you were embarrassed and hurt by the whole situation. Be honest about this now or it will continue to happen. He has to understand that he can't run to his mom whenever things get tough. Talking through stuff with his mom and having a good relationship with her is good, but he can't just rely on her to fix things for him. You have to rely on each other for that.

Kristin131

You were absolutely right to tell him to rest and stay hydrated. If you're throwing up (esp from food poisoning) you should never STOP the vomiting (unless instructed by a doc). It's the body's way of "getting out the bad".

That said, DH is a doctor and swears he gets food poisoning a bunch (upset stomach and even though I have eaten the same thing and been fine), and he turns into such a baby. I try and tell him take medicine whenever he is sick and take vitamines and all he wants to do is down Nyquil or pepto and go to sleep. I'm like "that's not helping you get better!" (besides the sleeping)

I think most men are like that to some extent... if he's close to him mom then maybe it was a comfort thing? She is wrong to judge you though. Hope he is better soon (for both your sakes!)

MrsMOM1129

Kristin131:

You were absolutely right to tell him to rest and stay hydrated. If you're throwing up (esp from food poisoning) you should never STOP the vomiting (unless instructed by a doc). It's the body's way of "getting out the bad".

That said, DH is a doctor and swears he gets food poisoning a bunch (upset stomach and even though I have eaten the same thing and been fine), and he turns into such a baby. I try and tell him take medicine whenever he is sick and take vitamines and all he wants to do is down Nyquil or pepto and go to sleep. I'm like "that's not helping you get better!" (besides the sleeping)

I think most men are like that to some extent... if he's close to him mom then maybe it was a comfort thing? She is wrong to judge you though. Hope he is better soon (for both your sakes!)

This exactly, his body needs to get rid of that crap.

And, I would be pissed! No, livid! My H is my bestfriend and it is my responsibility to take care of him. He would NEVER call his mom about something like that.  

mbritto4

Oh FFS.  Really?  Wow. 

I'd like to hope it was just he didn't want to make his pg wife run out and knew his Mom would do it, but geez.  He's a married adult, he shouldn't be running to Mommy for everything.  My MIL is not very maternal and 6 hours away so I don't have that going on.  I'd hope your MIL knows you're pg and busy and didn't judge on the house.  Did she say anything?  Because I'd probably tell her she'd be welcome to clean it if it wasn't satisfactory to her. 

cburitz

tavia_martin:

No, I don't think you're being hormonally sensitive. How old is your FI? It would really tick me off if H did that.

This.

I had the flu a few weeks ago and ended up going to the ER... DH took me. I can't imagine waking my mom up at 3am if my H was home.

kgunz11

saccidananda108:

tavia_martin:

No, I don't think you're being hormonally sensitive. How old is your FI? It would really tick me off if H did that.

This. Please tell me his mother didn't insert the suppositories for him...... 

THIS.

ring_pop

That would have annoyed the hell out of me.

jdm7

I found that when DH and I were dating, I was not the best advice on what he should do when he was sick. I'd tell him "take an ibuprofen and nyquil and get some rest." he'd call his mom, she'd say the same thing, and add "Jenny is pretty smart..." But it always made her feel good that he'd call and ask her.

However, when we moved in together he didn't call her for what to do when he's sick. Although sometimes I would've liked it because she wouldn't hesitate to run up with chicken noodle soup (she makes good soup). I did have to talk to him and say "Look, I'm not stupid, I know how to treat a cold. Your mom may do it better than me, in your mind, but I'm your fiancee/wife and I deserve to be listened to."

You need to talk to your DH and tell him how him calling his mom at 3am made you feel. Don't get on his case, but talk about how it made you feel. It's those types of conversations thatt will get the point through to him that you care and you're looking out for his well being.

momtoRaegan041008

LOL, my husband always calls his mommy.  Never at 3am.  Food poisoning sucks and he kind of just has to let it run it's course.  I had it for 3 days once.  It is no fun.  Lots of Jello and fluids.  Hope he feels better soon.

Oh, I use to get worked up about it, but there's nothing I can do.  My H is an only child, so he calls his parent's every day anyway.

curlygirl124

I would be really upset if I was you.

MFAinNYC

DH did this when we were engaged but we had only been living together about two months.  It only happened ONCE.  The issue is I don't really baby him (or anyone) and he is his mother's golden child so he wanted attention.

KtGirl88

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

What will he do when the baby wont stop crying? Call grandma? So weird...

Hope he's ready 

lhuffmaster

MuseumMaven:

Wow - time to cut the apron strings.

This. And shame on his mom for coming over in the middle of the night for a little throwing up. He's a grown man... 

aesf

My DH calls his mom whenever hes really sick... but she's a nurse. So Im ok with it. Also she'd never run out for him at 3 am.  She'd say you need x,y and z, good night.  And Id probably have to get them. 

 

He might have been tyring to save you the trip 

Brady77

You are not being overly sensitive.  Heck, I had food poisoning while my in laws were visiting and I didn't ask them what I needed to do.  I just took my gatorade and saltines and spent the night on the bathroom floor with my H occasionally coming in to check on me, the next three days were rough but I managed.

I called my own mother when H spiked a crazy high fever the first time because he was completely delirious when I arrived and mumbling.   But that was merely for advice as to whether I should take him to the hospital or throw him in a cold bath.

As others have said he needs to cut the apron strings.