Update: Opening mind to more treatment...

JMay

I feel a change happening.  I have always felt confident that not doing ART was a better road for me - I guess deep down, I felt that because I got lucky once, I could do it again.  You know, if only I were patient" enough.  My patience has come to an end, and so has my timeline (only have until April/May - self imposed).  I was looking at the Resolve website, hoping for answers on coping, dealing with not being successful.  The thing is, I'm really, really not ready to be done.  I would rather face ART in spite of my previous feelings than face the rest of my life knowing I didn't try harder.  (and find success, of course!)  The trick is, my DH does not agree.  Since we had DD, he has maintained that he would be ok with just one.  (Before we got married we hoped for 3-4).  Now, I'm feeling a need to re-evaluate the situation, and I don't think the idea is going to sit well with him.  Wish me luck. 

 

*** So, we started a talk last night which quickly turned into an arguement. A bad one.  He's totally freaked out and he's stonewalling like nobody's business.  Oh, and today is CD1.  Good times!  To be honest though, I feel a bit of relief - I had been experiencing some Wicked PMS (like a major depression - PMDD) it was awful.  Today, I feel release from that.  I feel normal.  Thank God.  I just hope my DH can release his anxiety so we can actually talk. 

tosh24

Good luck talking with YH.

I could have written your post myself. MH feels the same way as YH with respect to treatment and number of kids. It is going to be a battle trying to talk him into doing anything more than pills/injects. It scares me because I am not ready to be done. We have 3 cycles of Clomid before we have to re-evaluate, so I'm hoping is want for another child is going to magically increase 100-fold so that he willl agree to move on to IUI.

jennykg1477

Good luck! I am in your boat too. MH is completely against IUI or IVF. I know I will never convince him otherwise because he feels that way because he is Catholic. He is very into following "the rules". I hope YH is more likely to change his mind!! Jenny

bonnin507

LO#1 came pretty easily for us w/ clomid, so I figured we had our answer & TTC#2 would be a breeze.  Thus far, I haven't gotten an O on clomid (although it's only cycle #2).  I'm still hopeful this will work, but I too find myself thinking forward to other treatments if necessarily.  I always thought we wouldn't take it that far; probably because TTC#1 was easy once we found I had PCOS.  But now that things haven't been working so far, I don't know that I'd want to just give up here.  If we only ever had DD, we'd be happy to at least have her, but I think I'd always wonder if I would've just gone further if we could have more.  I know this is jumping the gun a little since I don't know for sure that the clomid isn't going to work, but I'm a planner/control freak.  DH is supportive of whatever I want to do, but I don't know how I will handle more intense treatments if need be.  Financing is another possible issue since my insur doesn't cover IF.

Pixiestx

I got to the same point where I said it was time to go forward with more treatment even though we said we wouldn't b/c I didn't want to have regrets.  DH has always been against IVF and I think the only reason he came around to IUI is b/c he knew I needed to move forward and do something.  Is he unwilling to talk about just you taking drugs to help with PCOS?  That to me is different since the goal is to just get you to ovulate but the getting pregnant part is without medical intervention.  It was a slow process to get my DH to come around and I hope yours does too. 

AmandaMacD

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry.  My husband and I always said no IVF and here we are a year after initially seeking help about to start IVF.  FWIW, I would take this cycle off and gradually try having some discussions with him.  Men need to be babied (not sure if that is spelled right) and sometimes a gentler approach works better. Is he open to chatting with your RE?  Lots of luck to you.