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Multiples
MADforever2009
member
how much help do/did you get?
MADforever2009
member
in Multiples
Paid or free?
Family or friends?
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies?
Day or night?
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc?
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers?
How often do you ASK for help?
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Re: how much help do/did you get?
1. Mostly paid (DS goes to in-home daycare a few days/week)
2. Family (Mom and MIL traveled here to help so we had help first 4 weeks, Dad and Step-mom coming for a week on Sat). Brother and BIL live in town and come by to help (or just eat our food
3. When my brother and BIL come over, I honestly would rather hand over the babies and do some housework as a "break." We have a housekeeper come once/month.
4. We have had some help from a postpartum doula over-night so I can recover!
5. Mostly stay home.
6. Scheduled
7. I occasionally ask brother or BIL to come by and take DS to the park or something like that.
I do all the cooking, cleaning, house work, and majority of taking care of the kids. My older DD goes to daycare 4 days a week and soon we'll be dropping her down to 3 days a week to save money since I am not going back to work until August.
My MIL comes over in the mornings and takes DD to daycare and then picks her up at the end of the day for me. Other than that I am on my own everyday. DH leaves at 7am and doesn't get home until 6:30pm.
We both do the feedings at night, although the girls only get up once, if all at night now.
DH helps as much as possible when home, but I do it all during the day by myself. I also try to get out of the house at least twice a week so I don't go crazy.
I don't really ask for help, as I can manage on my own. My MIL is a great help and will take DD on the weekends and stuff.
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
Paid or free? My mom and MIL helped out during the day (11am-5pm) for 2 weeks after DH went back to work. Free of course.
Family or friends? Family. They still offer to come *help* occasionally, but lets face it - they just want to see the babies.
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? Just take care of babies. MIL did a whopping 2 loads of laundry when she was here in the first few weeks they were home, but left the drying and folding up to me.
Day or night? Day only. Despite the sleep deprivation, I did not want overnight guests.
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc? I am a SAHM, if someone wants to come *help* then occasionally I will run out to grab some lunch or a coffee or something.
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers? If someone offers to come over I let them, unless I already had plans (not likely, LOL).
How often do you ASK for help? Never, I actually prefer to do things on my own. (Is this crazy?!?)
The only help we had was friends from church and others bringing us food - we had someone bring food about every other day - so it was great - we never had to make anything until they were about 4w old -- and by then we were dying to just eat normal stuff anyway, lol.
my family is in town= so they are around to help if i need to take one to the doc... they came over on weekends a lot early on to play with DS1 - but not really to help with the babies - we didn't really need much help.
DH was and is very involved- so i had him helping at night, and he was home the first 4 weeks. We also kept DS1 in full time daycare during my maternity leave which was a HUGE help.
I have had no help since the boys came home- my mom was here when I got discharged for 4 days since I needed to be watched since my BP was still high and I was technically still on bedrest. The boys were in the NICU for 17 days.
I am a SAHM, so I take care of the boys, the house, the dogs, and whatever else pops up. DH will do one or maybe two feedings- depending on the times in the evening. I do all the midnight feedings- he hasn't been up with the boys since the first night they came home. On the weekends I still do the midnight and first morning feedings on my own.
We live 2 hours from my family, and my DH's parents are deceased. So we do not have family nearby. As for friends, our close friends don't live nearby and they have their own families to deal with.
We haven't been out together since the boys came home. I do errands when DH gets home from work. It still is not like getting away since the weather here is crappy and you don't want to linger anywhere. Tomorrow is my MOMS meeting- I am giddy thinking about getting out with some other people who know what I am dealing with.
This *might* change after the girls are actually born but here is our plan:
Paid or free? paid
Family or friends? family (mom) - she will be watching them Mon-Thurs as her job hence we will pay her.
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? Knowing my mom she would do all of the above, but she likely will not be watching them at my house since i work from home
Day or night? day only
Do you stay home or leave? Work from home
My mother does daycare part-time while i work. for free.
my dad often comes over to play for a few hours a time. its nice to have the extra hands and when his wife comes, they dont need me around. they come over 2-3 times a week, during the afternoons, for around 2 hours.
they dont cook or clean but i love cooking and we have a cleaning service.
i work out of the home 12 hrs/week and at home as necassary. i get off work when they are napping at my moms, so i actually have 2 hours to myself after work. i usually run.
i also use gym daycare. they love going and i usually workout for 60-75 minutes and take a shower. i picked a gym that has an actual daycare center, not just a daycare room. it has been a wonderful thing for all of us because sometimes you just need a break.
i rarely ask for help but that is because between my mom/work days, my dad and the gym daycare, i have a balanced lifestyle. but believe me, if i needed help, i would ask in a split second. IMO, there can never be too many hands involved...
Paid or free? Mostly free, but DD#1 does go to full-time daycare so that part has been paid, but its always been paid. All other help has been free.
Family or friends? The majority is family, but friends have mainly cooked us meals. Family has come and stayed over longer periods of time to really help.
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? My mom does EVERYTHING! She has cooked, cleaned, and taken care of the babies. She came over to my house twice a week when I was on bedrest for 10 weeks to clean the house for me. Now, she comes over everyday around 9am and leaves when DH gets home from work. My MIL & FIL have already babysat for us twice and in those times, they mainly just take care of the babies. I don't think MIL is comfortable in my house when I'm not there to clean.
Day or night? Only daytime help - nothing at night.
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc? Leave. I will be leaving for work, but also leave to run errands. When DH comes home from work, I will often leave with DD#1 to run errands or make trips to the store. DH stays home with the twins. When I return to work, my mom is watching the twins one day and then they will go to daycare for 3.5 days.
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers? Whenever someone offers
How often do you ASK for help? I haven't had to ask for help yet.
Katie: 1/16/08 2lbs. 15oz.
Abby & Emily: 12/31/10 6lbs. 2oz. & 5lbs. 7oz.
Paid or free? Free
Family or friends? My best friend's mom comes over every Wednesday afternoon for 2 hours
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? Just take care of the babies
Day or night? Day
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc? Sometimes I stay home, otherwise I use that time to run to the grocery or just get out of the house for a few minutes
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers? Every wednesday is scheduled. I wish someone else would offer.
How often do you ASK for help? I don't. Although I am working myself up to being able to do so...
Paid or free? Both. It's been free (family) since the beginning but today I had a mother's helper start. She'll come for a few hours a day, a few days a week, to help me feed them, and hold down the fort while they nap so I can get other stuff done.
Family or friends? Family. I've had friends offer but it's always for the weekend, when I don't really need the help. I have a cousin that stops by after school many days, and her mom will also come by once in awhile. My mom comes by after work to visit, too.
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? Just take care of babies.
Day or night? Day only
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc? Stay home. After my mother's helper gets her footing with two, I plan on going to work out or run errands while the babies are napping and she's here. Since today was her first day, I stayed with her and while they napped, I caught up on some housework.
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers? The paid help will be scheduled but otherwise it's when someone offers
How often do you ASK for help? Not often enough. I did it on my own from weeks 3-7 and I had people who were more than willing to help, but I never asked or took them up on their offers. I am over trying to be a hero!Paid or free? Free
Family or friends? My mother takes care of the boys while I work and DH is studying for his Nursing Boards.
Do they cook, clean, or just take care of babies? My Mom does everything. She cleans, does laundry (which is a HUGE help), and sometimes cooks.
Day or night? Day, however my mother stays with us Mon nights thru Friday afternoons. It is hard sometimes having her there so much, but honestly, DH and I appreciate all the extra help. When I had my vacation over Christmas I kicked her out for the week. She never gets up with the boys at night though. I have told her, that is DH and I only.
Do you stay home or leave? If you leave what do you do, work, errands etc? I leave, I work full time. There are times though where DH and Take the boys out together.
Scheduled help or whenever someone offers? Neither. We don't really ask for "help." Only sitter when needed.
How often do you ASK for help? Never we like to do as much on our own as possible. We had lots of help at the beginning with family, and friends cooking food for us. That was the best part.