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Preemies
New here with two preemies
Hi everyone,
I gave birth to my two baby boys last week at 33w2d. They are both in the NICU now and I could definitely use some advice and support from you ladies.
J is doing amazingly well. He is eating from a bottle and has no breathing assistance or monitors. He was smaller at birth (just over 4 pounds) but is such a little trooper.
H is not doing as well. He is still on CPAP and is not able to eat. He is being fed through an IV. The doctors say he just needs more time and they are unconcerned but it is hard to have faith that he will make progress.
It is so tough seeing H struggle. I feel like crying every time I see him. I feel so helpless to do anything for him and each hour and then day that goes by without improvement causes me more stress.
I am being discharged tomorrow and it breaks my heart that I will leave without my babies.
I'm trying to focus on the positive and the future but it is difficult. I know you ladies understand. If you have any advice for me I would appreciate it.
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Re: New here with two preemies
First, congratulations on your two little boys! And, welcome!
I don't know if I can offer much advice as I have only been a NICU mom for 3 weeks, but I will tell you it's a roller coaster. There are good days and there are bad days. It's right what they say, one step forward, two steps back. But, what I noticed is that even if it seems to be a bad day, there is always something good which you can hold on to (i.e. an increase in weight, being able to tolerate more food, etc.). I know it's hard and I definately struggle (see my post below), but if you focus on the little milestones then what you realize is that overall things are slowly starting to improve.
I hope your NICU stay is short!
Congratulations on your boys!!
I had my twins at 32w 6d and they spent 17 days and 25 days in the NICU. So much of what they went through were things that they just had to "outgrow" or learn how to do. It was the most frustrating thing I have ever been through.
My advice to you is to take care of yourself as much as you can during this time. I slept and ate really well, and am fully healed for the most part and able to take care of them now that they are home. Also - you are your child's advocate. If you dont understand something, ask. Ask as many questions as you need to. Don't EVER feel like you are bothering anyone - you have a right to know everything. I asked question after question, so that I fully understood what was happening. I think this made me feel more in control (because you cant control ANYTHING in the NICU)
Congratulations again
If you need anything at all - PM me. I just went through this, and I'd be more than willing to offer you any support you need. It is one of the toughest things I have ever done. But the most worth it 
Thank you ladies. It helps so, so much to hear from others who have been through it and have come out on the other side. I think the next couple of days will be the hardest and I hope to get into a routine and that they both continue to do well.
I will keep you posted and I will continue to reach out.
I am sorry to hear that you are going through this and as selfish as it may seem you also need to take time for yourself and your marriage. It was hard for me to go out to dinner with them in the nicu but anything that will make you a happier mommy will make you a more effective mommy. Good luck and i hope your stay is short!
Congrats!
My twin girls have been in the NICU and Special Care for 5 weeks now (born at 29w6d) and we're starting to approach the end of this. I won't lie, it has been hard. I've had my good days and my bad days. I think I'm having a harder time now that we're so close to being done, but I have to wait for the girls to start eating consistently from the boob or bottle.
You will get through this, but reach out to others for help or even just to talk. You're going to really need that ability to vent to someone other than a doctor or nurse. We have the best possible care team for our girls right now, but we can't make them come home any faster than they are ready. You will start to see those little victories when an IV comes out or they are moved to an open crib, or hit a weight milestone. I know DH and I threw a small party when Abby finally made it to 3 lbs.
Best of luck to you! You'll get there. I constantly pray for my own patience, and I'll add you and the other NICU moms to my prayers as well.
Just wanted to say congrats on your 2 little miracles. I know it probably doesn't seem possible right now, but things will get easier and you will get to be a "normal" Mom at some point.
My little guys arrived at 32 weeks and spent 4 and 5 weeks in the NICU. They were very small when they arrived (4lbs10oz and 3lbs) but are large and in charge now.
My biggest piece of advice to you is to take lots of pictures and to make the best of your time being home without the boys by taking really good care of yourself. Once they come home you will be busier than you can imagine.
((HUGS)) to you and your babes. Praying that J keeps up the good work and H is able to grow big and strong.
BFP #2 - 12/9/09 After being on bedrest for 10 weeks due to TTTS and hospital bedrest for 4 weeks due to PPROM, my sticky babies are here! Born at 32 weeks!!
Congrats on your twins:) PP posters gave great advice. My only advice is when you are discharge is to go back for your next touch time immediately after. When I was discharge I was in a rush to get back because they were giving ds his first bottle feed. I ran home shower changed my mom made me eat something and then we went right back to the hospital. It was much easier leaving knowing that I was going to be back for the next touch time i wasn't "missing" anything.
Thoughts and prayers for your twins.
It sounds like overall they are doing great, and I'm happy to hear it! The hardest part is waiting and just wanting them home. Hugs!
Welcome from another IF-er! It sounds like your LOs are doing well - and like a pp-er said, do your best not to compare the two of them and their progress (if that is possible!) Each baby will do things in their own time.
You got some great advice from others already, I'll just say remember to take care of yourself - you're recovering from birth and the NICU can be overwhelming, for sure. Hope your LO's journies are as smooth as they can be. Congrats on them!
I had a singleton pregnancy so I'm not sure how having two in the NICU feels, but my G man was born at 29w6d and has been in the NICU since his birth on 12/9. He's been there 6 1/2 weeks and we're getting so close to release, probably 10-14 more days!! But I know how it feels leaving the hospital without your child and the heartache at going back to the hospital every day and seeing other women getting to leave. I still break down when I see that almost 7 weeks later.
But I promise you it gets easier. Like PP said, you celebrate the little milestones. When GMan got his PICC line out we celebrated. When he got into a crib and no more isolette we were so so happy. When he hit 4 lbs, his first bottle, less DSATS or Bradys for the day. You have to celebrate the positives even if one day there aren't many.
It IS a roller coaster, no doubt about it and time seems to move slowly. Even when you start feeling like a victim of the NICU, it's okay to feel that way and feel sorry for yourself; don't beat yourself up for that but also count off at least one or two good things for the day as well.
THe doctors are right and it's GOOD they're unconcerned! The majority of what 30+ weekers have to do is just grow out of preemie things. I wanted to kill someone when they kept saying "it's because (fill in the blank) is immature. he'll grow out of it." SO frustrating, but it's true. They WILL grow out of it and at least it's not something that will have lifelong residual effects; just preemie stuff.
My little guy has awful reflux and it breaks my heart when he squirms and cries because it's uncomfortable. I cry a lot because I feel helpless when that happens but it's okay to cry and feel those things. Nothing I can say can help but just know you're not the only one who feels these things. We've all been there an continue to be there.
Good luck and congrats on your twins!!!
I'm a few days late to your post.... I'm a twin mommy too. My girls were born at 32 weeks. NICU is very tough.
My girls were in the hospital for 5 long weeks. What helped me was to have the same schedule/routine everyday. If the nurses allowed, I Kangaroo'd with baby 1 in the am, and after lunch, I would Kangaroo my other sweet girl. I would usually arrive and leave the hospital at the same times (in the morning and evening). I know this isn't always possible, but it helped me get through each day.
I am sending you lots of (((Hugs))). I know how hard it is when one of your LOs is not doing as well. My Lauren was very sick. I was a mess and in tears a lot. They would not allow me to touch her for 12 days. She was so sick, I could not even hold her hand. It was 12 days before I could hold her and give her a kiss. I wish you a very short NICU stay.