Throwing tantrums to stop tantrums: Have you tried it?

Bump Kaitlin

Hey everyone,

I'm writing a piece on unconventional parenting methods and one that we're featuring in the article is the technique of throwing a tantrum whenever your tot throws a tantrum, to get them to stop. Has anyone here ever attempted it or know people who did? Did it work?

TIA!

Kaitlin

jdreams76

That I do it to my 15 yr old daughter when she throws a fit about something.. She looks at me and says OMG MOM UGH! And stomps off lol So I guess in a way it works with her. 

Never thought about doing that to my DS.. 

posvane

Honestly, I could see how it would work. But then I could see how it would very quickly become a screaming match and I'm not able to throw a tantrum in public. I'd be on UTube fast than a blink. lol. 

When DD screams at something, we have screamed back. When we get a smile we stop so it doesn't turn into a game.

peachypear

Wow, what a terrible idea. How's that for setting an example?

IMO, parents should be more mature than their toddler.

dragon_chica

peachypear:

Wow, what a terrible idea. How's that for setting an example?

IMO, parents should be more mature than their toddler.

This.  Should we hit them as well when they hit other people?  IMHO, it kinda beats the purpose of teaching them to not go that route when they want to convey a need.

Sage Mommy

No, I'm not a child. There's no reason for me ever to throw a tantrum, calculated or otherwise. It may work the first time, but I think it sets a bad example. There are better ways to handle a tantrum IMHO.

emcheerumr

Read the book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

His reasonings and methods seems plausible.  I have both the video and book (I loved his "Happiest Baby on the Block") but DS is not at this stage yet so I have not used its theories.

HTH!

bourk997

I can remember my dad doing this once. It worked, lol.

daisy_dueller

I think it would go almost along the lines of ridicule, no? I mean, you're essentially mocking your child, and that can't be healthy.

naflmj

When DS whines, DH will whine and it stops DS in his tracks... I don't particularly like the method but it gets DS laughing and out of a funk so I guess I can't fault it either. I don't think he will be throwing full out tantrums thought I wouldn't put it past DH...guess we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

gumiberg

i'll admit it, i once broke down and had a tantrum when my kids were having a tantrum.  i just couldnt take it anymore.

the second i broke down, is the second they stopped.  they totally knew they pushed me too far.

not my proudest moment. 

groovygrl

emcheerumr:

Read the book "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

His reasonings and methods seems plausible.  I have both the video and book (I loved his "Happiest Baby on the Block") but DS is not at this stage yet so I have not used its theories.

HTH!

Ehhhh it isn't really about throwing a 'tantrum' though- it is more about getting on their level & volume and reiterating/verbalizing their feelings, not like also lying on the floor kicking & screaming. 

MrsPatterson

I guess I''ve tried it in the way that I've tried to drown DS out by making noise on my own, and all it ever does is serve to make him more upset and escalates the tantrum.

lilsunshine

No I have not tried that. But if you find out it works, please let me know. DD has been throwing tantrums for the past week and it is driving me INSANE.

robynlesley

Hi Kaitlin,

Actually I have.  My 17-month-old will literally throw himself on the floor and kick and scream if I won't let him have something (usually dangerous) that he wants. One time he just kept crying and squirming all over the floor that I decided "if you can't beat them, join them" and lied down on the floor and started wailing.

My son looked at me and stopped.  Then he started crying again. It didn't work, but I gave it my best shot. Usually moving him from where he's throwing the tantrum (if I can do so without fear of dropping him while he's squirming) will stop a tantrum. But often I just have to leave him and then offer comfort (a hug) and he stops.

He's a generally sunny-natured child, but he wants what he wants when he wants it?even if it could hurt him.

diana.filipi

It's sounds very reminiscent of Happiest Toddler on the Block!  I've tried it and it works pretty well.  I think it'll work even better in a couple months.

LoveEeyore

When DD was little I had a m/c and I cried a lot, and it scared her.  A lot.  So it is not something I would consider with a toddler, but when they get sassy, eye-rollin', foot-stomping preteen tantrums, you bet, I'm on that boat!

My unconventional method for my toddler who tantrums maybe once a month, is praising her- "Wow!  That was a great one, can you go louder?  Get it out, it's hard work, but you keep trying, great! Now tell me in a yell how you feel!  Atta girl.  Nope, tryy a little louder- Awesome! "  It seems therapeutic, but more, she usually will stop quickly and tell me she just wants to talk to me.  I would not do this, however with my 18 month olds because I think it would be a game and encouragge tantrums b/c they get my attention.  I think anything that deflates negative tension between parent and child could be healthy for both.  I think if a parent understands WHY a behavior is happening, then they are likely to be more successful with a technique- conventional or not.

Pier1girl

No and it seriously sounds like a bad idea.