Help, we're exhausted. At what age did you CIO?

MagPie08

Our kiddos sleep schedule is sucking sucky suck suck. (Yes, that's all my brain can come up with). A month ago, they were giving us two 5 hour stretches at night, with a bottle in between, and we legitimately thought we were moving toward STTN. 

Over the last few weeks, it's regressed to the point where they are taking almost 50% of their calories between 11pm-6am. Multiple times. Multiple bottles. Screaming at the top of their lungs. Demanding to be fed. They are so social right now, and play on the bottle all day. It's hard to get them to focus and to eat. 

DH thinks we should CIO -- our pediatrician doesn't recommend CIO until 6 months. And I'm hesitant b/c it's not as though they are just crying for attention -- they are legitimately hungry. What do we do? We're so tired. Between replacing pacis and feedings, we are up every single hour of the night and work is becoming increasingly difficult. 

Any suggestions will be appreciated and entertained . . . . TIA! 

macchiatto

Our pedi said at 4m it was OK to let them "cry a little" but I wouldn't do full CIO quite that early. (For us that meant more if they were crying when they "should" be sleeping we might give them 3 minutes or so to see if they would settle down on their own, which they often would.) Have you read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child? It made a huge difference for us. I started following it at 7.5w and the boys literally instantly started taking regular, consistent naps. They had some reflux issues that took a while to sort out so the second half of their nighttime sleep sucked for a while, but once we got those straightened out at almost 4m, they started STTN at 4m1w.

RoseWhite

I waited until 6 months...and it took like 2 days...and they never cried for more than 15 minutes.  I think they were just ready to STTN at that point.  I know MINE were not ready at 4 months so that's why I didn't do it that early.  I think they were taking 1 or 2 full overnight feedings at that point.

Once mine got to one overnight feeding each, then I slowly started reducing the amount I gave them little by little.  I would try to give them less and put them back down to see if they would go to sleep, and most times they did.  Once they were only taking like 2oz then I knew it was time...and it wasn't too painful for anyone.

Hang in there momma! 

RoseWhite

oh and I also worked HARD to make sure they ate during the day...whatever it took.  That meant no distractions...so if we had to be in a room in silence, no eye contact and no noise...then well, that's what we did.  It sucked but it was definitely worth it!

McKenna04

I don't let my boys CIO, however, I do let them cry.. and once they are in bed, they stay in bed until a predetermined point (between 330&5) because they are only 4 months and I do believe they still need a bottle at night- we will start the weaning process in a month.

The first couple nights were bad, but over the past 2 weeks have become much easier.  We put them to bed at 8, and they are pretty tired at this point anyway so they usually go to bed with minimal protest.  If they do start to fuss, I stay right by the crib and talk to them, pat their belly until they calm down enough where I can walk away and tell them goodnight.  If they start back up again, I wait about 5 minutes and I increase the time by 2 minutes if I need to go back in there.  So I would go in at 5 minutes, then another 7 minutes, and then 9 minutes (which It really hasn't gotten to this point)  they have usually fallen asleep by then.

If they wake up anywhere between 8 & 3am.. I will do the same thing- calm them down and explain to them its bedtime (at first it took about a half hour of crying to get them back to sleep, now its about 5 minutes) 2 weeks ago I would feed them at 3, and every night I would make them wait later so the next night it was 3:20- then 3:40 etc.  Last night they woke me up once at 1, then didnt wake me up again til 5:30 but he went back to sleep on his own after about 2 minutes and then woke up at 6:30.

We also took the pacifier away, it was such a sleep problem.  They couldn't put it back in themselves so I would have to get up out of bed every hour or two just to replace it & they would go right back to sleep but I was up 10 times a night some nights.  We got rid of that thing cold turkey and their sleep has been so much better.  Since we took it away we introduced new things for them to associate sleep with (a security blanket, seahorse, and stuffed animal) We don't swaddle their arms anymore so they have their hands to suck on now. They have to learn to self settle on their own or you will be their "crutch" for a long time.

I do the same thing for naps- I put them in their crib and tell them its naptime- they fuss and we do the same process.  If they wake up after a half hour or 45 minutes- I go in there & calm them down and they usually go right back to sleep.  A 45 minute nap is not good enough for me or them so I make them sleep for at least an hour and 15.. 

I agree with pp- get them to eat during the day no matter what it takes, even if you have to make smaller bottles but more of them.. or try cluster feeding them before bed, maybe even a dream feed.

Letting them cry is not fun.. but it does work.  You have to be consistent though- start a good bedtime routine and do the same thing over and over, even saying the same thing over and over will help too.  Good luck! 

KnockMeUp

Our babies took in enough food during the day so we knew they weren't hungry at night but were just used to waking up.  We let them CIO at 5 months.  My DD took one night (and 1 hour of crying) and my DS took 3 nights (crying 2 hours the first night, 1 hour the second and then 15 minutes the 3).  It was hard but SO worth it!  We went in to their room at the 5-10-15 minute increments and gave them paci's which I know you are not supposed to do and I wish we didn't because we were going into their room at night just to give them a paci for months.  GL!  I know this is so hard.  Momma needs sleep too!

Temp6313048411121614

We did CIO with DS1 at 15m and we're ready to start CIO with the twins soon.  I would HIGHLY suggest waiting until at least 6m.  Is there any way that during feeding time you can take them to a dim room with just the 2 of you so there aren't many distractions?  Definitely don't CIO if they're actually hungry (and for that many calories).  I could see if they were waking for maybe 1/2 bottle, but for 1/2 their feedings is too much.  I would look for every opportunity to stuff them full of calories.  Is there anybody that can come by and help during the day so you can catch up on sleep while they're going through this phase? 

amanda31H

I didn't really do it at night until a little over a month ago.  I got the girls used to it during nap time..if they woke up from their nap early, (like 30 min in to a standard 1.5 hour nap), I would let them fuss/cry until they went back to sleep.

If your kids are still eating at night, I personally wouldn't do CIO.  I also wouldn't do it this early.  Instead, I would focus on scheduling.  I would set up a schedule during the day for their day time bottles, and then start limiting the number of ounces they need at night.  I know they get more and more distracted when eating during the day-- you just need to find ways to get them focused.  Sometimes I would sing to them while they were eating so they focused on me. 

TheNewFry

Oh MagPie, hang in there, that sucks!  How much formula/BM are the taking in during the day?  Mine aren't needing a bottle at night and haven't for a month or so but I am sure it is because they are BIG eaters during the day - eating near 32oz total during the day.  So try to decrease the distractions while they are eating and do as much as you can to get them to finish their entire bottle.

Within the past month, both my DD and DS have started to "play" with the bottle and chew on the nipple. When they start doing that I will take the bottle away, but leave it in their sight for a minute or so, so when they start reaching for it back and I will give it to them and they will eat some more before "playing" again.  It is frustrating, but it eventually works and they will finish most of the bottle. 

My night wakings are still often too - but it is mostly due to pacifier addiction at the moment.  :-(

regenab

We didn't do full on CIO until 13 months old when we took the pacis away. At 4 months old we were working on training to sttn 12 hours without getting up to eat anymore and once we got this complete at about 4 1/2 months I didn't need to worry about CIO at 6 months old. I personally think 4 months is a little early for CIO and would never had done it before 6 months old, but that is just me.

I trained the girls using A Baby Sleep Solution by Suzy Giordiano and she uses a very modified cry it out to teach them to fall asleep and fall back to sleep on their own, no letting them cry for longer than 3-5 min. at a time. My first question would be how far apart are their feedings during the day? The first part of Suzy's plan is to stretch to 4 hour feedings during the day because this causes them to eat more at those feedings and the more they eat during the day, the less and less they need to get up at night. So my advice is that if you are not already on 4 hour feedings try this first and see if you can get them to eat more during the day.

 

MagPie08

Thanks everybody for the great responses and tips. We definitely need to come up with something & start being more consistent about it. Good suggestions on the feedings in a dark/quiet/boring place too.

NewFry - our little guy sometimes will only get 18-20 oz in during the day (so obviously he's hungry at night too!). 32oz during the day would be a dream! How how many oz are they taking at each feeding? We just moved DS up to the level 3 nipple and that seems to be helping him take more at each feeding - but still. DD is better at taking her whole bottle. They are obviously getting enough though because they've shot from the preemie chart to the 50% for height/weight. Just wish we could redirect those nighttime feedings to the daylight hours. . . .

MagPie08

regenab:

The first part of Suzy's plan is to stretch to 4 hour feedings during the day because this causes them to eat more at those feedings and the more they eat during the day, the less and less they need to get up at night. So my advice is that if you are not already on 4 hour feedings try this first and see if you can get them to eat more during the day.

 

Thanks for the tip - I read this book when I was pregnant. . . .and it's currently collecting dust. Need to revisit it. They rarely go a full 4 hours between feedings during the day. Maybe that's part of the problem! 

jamie217

I read a few books ("12 hrs by 12 wks" that pp suggested was one of them) that went over weaning them of their night feedings.  I did a lot slower then they suggested, but we were down to one bottle at that point.  Then at 5 months they were to the point where they'd take an once or two and fall back asleep, so we CIO.  It took one of them 4 days and the other 2.  Good luck!  I hated doing it, but it was so worth it and by that point I knew they were only waking out of habit and getting what they needed during the day.