Anyone have a will drawn up already?

lilylow

We went to meet with a lawyer last night to have our wills drawn up just in case.  I almost broke down in tears just thinking about it.  We already had all of our options for people picked out, but something about having legal papers drawn up and telling a complete stranger was freaking hard to do.

We have everything set up even if we have more children and who gets our kid/kids for four seperate scenerios.

Serpentesbride

Been there. Its tough but it does put your mind at ease too

luvdv8

A friend of mine is terminal with cancer and the reality of having her sign away her child and the planning that needs to go into it has hit me hard. I've been speaking with my sister (who will be taking the children) about lots of things- my wishes for their education, how we want her to handle visits with DH's family, what we have put away for our children, things we'd love for them to experience, etc.

lilylow

kdodge423:

lilylow:

We have everything set up even if we have more children and who gets our kid/kids for four seperate scenerios.

You really should have only covered this child and if/when another comes along, you need to update it. Things can change a lot in that amount of time and how you feel now may not be how you feel in a few years.

We will probably do this while I am on leave since here it is a biitch to get into JAG outside of normal business hours.

 

Not really for us.  If we have more then one child all of our assests are going to be split evenly and put into trust and the gaurdians we have chosen will remain regardless of the number of kids we have. 

 

armywife7205

We have one from after DD was born and DH had one prior because he was deployed.

 

However, we were told we couldnt make one covering DD until she was a live birth. Sad but that's what they said. 

BeetleLinz1125

We have both had wills for quite some time.  After we had to deal with his grandmother and mother's death we did it because it made everything so difficult, we don't want to put each other/our families through what we went through.  Our number one advice to people is to make a will, that way there is no question about your wishes, and it makes things a lot easier legally.  Long story short, his grandma willed her house to her daughter (his mom) but the will was drawn up in 1980...so many things had changed since then.  Well she refused to change the will, and his mother would lose medical coverage (she was on medicaid/medicare?)if she owned any property.  So she had to "skip herself" and it had to be divided among the next of kin, which was DF and his then-13 year old sister.  So we had to buy half of the already paid off house from her.  Yeah total PITA working with the lawyers, mortgage companies, etc, in order to get all of that accomplished. 

So it's not only important to have a will, but to update it...I think the recommendation is every 5 years.  I think we will be updating ours once we get married in February, but before the LO gets here.  It's such a hard thing to think about, but I would rather think about it now than have all of our family members distraught over what should be done if we were no longer here.

sandrajeant

We did ours shortly after we got married and now we need to have them updated.  We just started having the conversation about what would happen to our LO if something happened to us.  It is hard, but it is good to do.  We also drew up POA's just in case.

laura&dan05

Yes, we had one done before dd was born.  It was hard and I cried many times during the process but making these decisions in advance is best and I sleep better at night knowing my children are taken care of no matter what happens.

lilylow

kdodge423:

lilylow:

kdodge423:

lilylow:

We have everything set up even if we have more children and who gets our kid/kids for four seperate scenerios.

You really should have only covered this child and if/when another comes along, you need to update it. Things can change a lot in that amount of time and how you feel now may not be how you feel in a few years.

We will probably do this while I am on leave since here it is a biitch to get into JAG outside of normal business hours.

 

Not really for us.  If we have more then one child all of our assests are going to be split evenly and put into trust and the gaurdians we have chosen will remain regardless of the number of kids we have. 

 

Are the guardians married? What if they divorce 5 years from now? What if one of them falls chronically ill and they no longer wish to take guardianship? Or what if one of them is killed in a car accident? What if they both change their minds about it after you have more than 2 kids?  It's fine that you have a tenative plan in place long term, but you should also plan on revisiting this every few years or so- things change. There are a lot of What if's? out there. Thinking you can write one will and it will hold firm for 20+ years is nuts.

 

We only picked immediate family and not married couples.  We have them listed in order of A and if not A then B and if not A and B then C.  All three people know and wouldn't turn away our child.  Also the trust is being run by a third party and not the guardians.

lizard76

We did ours when I was pregnant with our first.  It just gave us peace of mind.  The lawyer we used said we were very smart for doing it before the birth.

mrambo3

I just got the paperwork last night but we aren't doing anything until LO is here since they said it would be pointless to do it until then.  So, while I'm out on maternity leave, we'll be sitting down with the lawyers and getting everything signed.